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ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 08:05 AM
I everyone I'm so upset. I suppose I need to give you a little background story behind what I am about to say so you can understand my position a little more.
I have 4 of my own children taking up spaces of my earning potential so only have 1 under and 1 over space available so really limited with money but better to earn that than nothing.
Now I have had a lo since feb and she is a darling very very shy and timid but is fine with me obviously since she has been in my care for so long.
Now yesterday lo mum text saying she needed to change contract ASAP! She wanted to reduce her payment by £80 instantly. I explained that she needs to give 4 weeks written notice as is in our mutually agreed contract but then came the sob story of I'm struggling etc
We are all struggling I bet she isn't sob Storting to her I phone company or television provider or tescos . A contract is a contract and it's so unfair she just expects me to say yes that's fine I won't pay my bills to help you out!
She gets tax credits and government help we don't get anything!
I'm just upset really as I didn't expect this kind of treatment from her.
I have offered a compromise and said 2 weeks notice as I need I adjust my budget accordingly I can't make a sob sorry to anyone! But she still seems to be throwing her toys out of the pram! I'm so upset!
Bet she will still smoke!
The thing is too she is paying my cheaper rate too which I have just swallowed up as it was ok to me at point of contract but since realise I need to charge more and all other mindees pay me the higher rate so I'm still only doing it for cheap and I have turned away lots of people because of our contract even with the promise of more money from new contracts. I upheld my part you know?
Now really with the new hours that she wants would not be worth my while at all £20 a day! That's it as I couldn't fill the hours inbetween and I have no other space available for another child. Where as if I get another contract I can get £45 for those days instead!
I'm so sorry for the long rant but no body else understands.
When I tell my husband about it he just gets annoyed saying I should I cancelled her everytime I had a new enquiry!

Koala
05-08-2014, 08:23 AM
I totally understand how you may feel: let down, used, taken for granted etc... etc... unfortunately i'm afraid this type of thing is all too common. If you are anything like me you try your very best to help families out (although it isn't your problem), I have provided over night care in emergencies for free, given special dispensation for late pick ups, early drop offs, late payments, no payment at all only for parents to want more, more, more and at the drop of a hat they will do what just suits them and to hell with how it will effect you. Sad but true.

So I would just go with the flow if you don't think you are going to get anything further out of your parent - it's not worth the fight - but complete a new contract on a casual basis reserving the right to terminate without notice if things don't work out and find your replacement. I hate bad feeling and would rather just move on when a parent gets to the point of thinking so low of me that they can treat me like this, It makes you feel like a commodity and replaceable so to survive you have to treat them the same.

Totally agree - she probably thinks less of you than her packet of fags. Cheer up though it's common, it's not you IT'S THEM! :angry:

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 08:36 AM
I totally understand how you may feel: let down, used, taken for granted etc... etc... unfortunately i'm afraid this type of thing is all too common. If you are anything like me you try your very best to help families out (although it isn't your problem), I have provided over night care in emergencies for free, given special dispensation for late pick ups, early drop offs, late payments, no payment at all only for parents to want more, more, more and at the drop of a hat they will do what just suits them and to hell with how it will effect you. Sad but true. So I would just go with the flow if you don't think you are going to get anything further out of your parent - it's not worth the fight - but complete a new contract on a casual basis reserving the right to terminate without notice if things don't work out and find your replacement. I hate bad feeling and would rather just move on when a parent gets to the point of thinking so low of me that they can treat me like this, It makes you feel like a commodity and replaceable so to survive you have to treat them the same. Totally agree - she probably thinks less of you than her packet of fags. Cheer up though it's common, it's not you IT'S THEM! :angry:

Thank you so much for your message. It really made me feel like I have someone on my side. I think I may suggest that to her a casual contract if she brings it up again. Might not work in my favor but yes I do feel like a piece of nothing now. Even to the point of I use top quality ingredients when making and providing meals and her child eats a lot! A really big amount and she knows this ! She gets everything , care, learning, safety, food, when she forgets things ( sun cream, wipes, nappies I always supply all for her measly amount she pays and then to try this honestly I am a low point but yes you are very right it is them!
Anyway I'm going to hold my head up high and power through. She knows I care for her daughter and I know how shy and scared she is and to make her settle with someone else seems cruel to me so she is taking the mic in my good nature!!

JCrakers
05-08-2014, 08:37 AM
I really don't have time for people who think they can get out of a contract they have willingly signed.

Tell her you will change the contract so it has no notice on it......and then on Sunday evening tell her you're giving notice.....see how she feels.

Sorry, these things make me so cross. Some people think that the contract means nothing and were just doing this for the fun of it.

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 08:38 AM
Oh and I forgot I mention she is in arrests paying too! Only by the added few hours 2 weeks ago but still owes me money! The cheek!

littlebears1009
05-08-2014, 08:43 AM
:( I would stick to your 4 week notice to change hours and fees, I'm sure she would demand the same from her employer! And if the new hours aren't going to fit in with your setting/needs then explain to her that you have turned away numerous enquiries to accommodate however due to the reduction in hours and income you cannot fill the spaces in between therefore if an enquiry comes up that can offer full time you will have no choice but to accept and terminate her contract. I would do this as after all most of us do this job as it fits in with our children and family. Good luck and stick to your guns, let her have her way once and she will demand it more and more x

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 08:46 AM
Yes thank you I needed to hear this because I wasn't sure if I was being to harsh!
I know children are involved but it is my business at the end of the day!
Thank you so much for your replies!

gwm
05-08-2014, 08:58 AM
Littlebears is giving you good advice. Please do not get disheartened. Unfortunately, most of us will get a situation similar to this over our childminding careers...some get more but just keep a calm, professional head and follow up with your revised offer in writing. Nothing wrong with a little rant here. It is easier with individuals who understand. Good luck. Keep us posted.

AliceK
05-08-2014, 09:00 AM
I would not be interested in hearing her sob stories anymore than anyone would be interested in hearing mine. We are all struggling. I would I'm afraid hold her to the notice period she has signed for to make changes and in the meantime I would be advertising to fill her space. If it is not worth you doing it then there is little point. Accept 4 weeks notice, put her on an adhoc contract after that and fill the space. I am sick of parents thinking we are some kind of charity, they conveniently forget that we too have bills to pay, commitments etc. As I once told 1 parent I do not do this job to be able to buy shoes and handbags, I do it to keep a roof over our head and food on the table.

xxxx

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 09:01 AM
Thank you. She dropped of lo half hour ago and nothing was said about it but a comment of 'always something new' because I had the new garage in the box I wanted to put together. Not sure if it was meant as a dig or not! Lol

gwm
05-08-2014, 09:15 AM
Yes, there is always something new.....We have to be continually assessing our toys and activities so that 'their' children have nice toys to play with. Parents only see the cheque they write out but, don't ever wonder where the toys and food and equipment and insurance and outings and treats etc etc etc come from. Actually, that might be a good list to add to the Policies we give to parents.....YOUR FEES COVER THE FOLLOWING COSTS.

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 09:20 AM
Yes, there is always something new.....We have to be continually assessing our toys and activities so that 'their' children have nice toys to play with. Parents only see the cheque they write out but, don't ever wonder where the toys and food and equipment and insurance and outings and treats etc etc etc come from. Actually, that might be a good list to add to the Policies we give to parents.....YOUR FEES COVER THE FOLLOWING COSTS.

Totally agree. Parents do only see the money they give out!
I will tell you what tho this has been a lesson to me not to be such a push over I'm not going to bend over backwards anymore! Have a little more of a business head!

mrsb79
05-08-2014, 09:20 AM
Cheeky mare, stick to your notice and find another mindee to take the space. I know it's not the child's fault but can you honestly see yourself working with this parent when she makes snide digs like that. That's a bug bear of mine the snide comments on the array of parcels that have arrived in the last week have been genuine curiosity to just plain rude ( sons 15th bday and hubby's 40th bday on the 19th and 20th of this month) now I just say ohh well new resources for your lo to play with smile sweet lye and close the door . Don't be railroaded into giving into this parent. X

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 09:23 AM
Cheeky mare, stick to your notice and find another mindee to take the space. I know it's not the child's fault but can you honestly see yourself working with this parent when she makes snide digs like that. That's a bug bear of mine the snide comments on the array of parcels that have arrived in the last week have been genuine curiosity to just plain rude ( sons 15th bday and hubby's 40th bday on the 19th and 20th of this month) now I just say ohh well new resources for your lo to play with smile sweet lye and close the door . Don't be railroaded into giving into this parent. X

Thank you with all the support from everyone no I am going to stick to my guns!
Snap my birthday on the 19th! Hehhehe!

trickiedickie
05-08-2014, 06:28 PM
I feel your pain. I too have four children so only have two spaces a day. Luckily both spaces are under five spaces. Even next year when all at school I will still only have the two spaces.

Like you I only starting a few months ago and now feel I would like to charge more, well really reduce my daily hours rather than price and stop providing snacks. LIke you one of my mindee's eats tons and parents provide hardly any lunch. Luckily all my parents have been lovely so far. Apart from listening to one mum's moans about how tired she is

I keep reminding myself that I am lucky to be able to do this job as time I paid childcare for 3 or 4 kids wouldn't be worth my while working.

I would not be doing this for £20 a day!! I' have just taken on a half day child for £22 but am getting the sibling full day at $32/50. If any parent treated me the way yours has I would give parent 4 weeks notice saying those hours no longer suit me, citing I can't fit another child in round those hours. Advertise like crazy and get the space taken. She doesn't respect anyone.

Does she come everyday?

ja-lula-belli
05-08-2014, 08:47 PM
I feel your pain. I too have four children so only have two spaces a day. Luckily both spaces are under five spaces. Even next year when all at school I will still only have the two spaces. Like you I only starting a few months ago and now feel I would like to charge more, well really reduce my daily hours rather than price and stop providing snacks. LIke you one of my mindee's eats tons and parents provide hardly any lunch. Luckily all my parents have been lovely so far. Apart from listening to one mum's moans about how tired she is I keep reminding myself that I am lucky to be able to do this job as time I paid childcare for 3 or 4 kids wouldn't be worth my while working. I would not be doing this for £20 a day!! I' have just taken on a half day child for £22 but am getting the sibling full day at $32/50. If any parent treated me the way yours has I would give parent 4 weeks notice saying those hours no longer suit me, citing I can't fit another child in round those hours. Advertise like crazy and get the space taken. She doesn't respect anyone. Does she come everyday?

Wow thank you so much for your reply. You understand my situation perfectly. No she comes Tuesday and Fridays which makes it so difficult I find people around her days let alone her times within her days. And as you know I only have te one early years space so I do need to make it as lucrative for me as possible. I keep telling myself that in so many years another space will open up, then another , then another lol! More earning potential.
That's the main problem here is I have only the one space if I had more than one I suppose it wouldn't bother so much as I could still generate income from the other space but no so I am really working for the single pathetic figure per hour. And my other space is after school and only for the 3 hrs so agin nothing spectacular to make it worth my while.
I feel so bad as the lo is so lovely and is so so shy and timid really timid and she has blossomed in my care! I really do not want to disrupt her! I am so torn!
I am having enquires all the time and so many people want me to look after their children that I'm sure I coul fill the space no problem. Maybe I will just wait and see what comes up.
I'm so afraid that if I did cancel and find some one else they could be a non payer or difficult or a not good fit!
It doesn't help at all that my hubby just keeps telling me ' cancel her!!! ' he is not emotionally involved I have built a relationship with this little for. I have watched her open up and become less an less frightened. She really has come leaps and bounds. And she would have to start that all over again with somebody new, that might not be a good fit for her!
Ahhhhhhhh!

hectors house
06-08-2014, 08:51 AM
I have a minimum of 7 hour a day contract which means that I don't get people cutting their hours to less than this as they would be paying anyway. I have only part time children - 6 different ones over the 4 days a week that I work, so don't worry about this child taking up just 2 days, hopefully someone else will soon want the other 3 days. I don't think that there are so many full time children out there anymore as often parents balance childminders with Nurseries and help from grandparents.

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 07:14 AM
I just wanted to update all who has very kindly replied to me. The patent in question still hasn't put the notice in writing but I am going to stand my ground and not accept the notice until I have the letter! I have already brought the term down by two weeks! So the ball is in her court sooner she provides the letter the sooner the notice period starts! Also what ticked me off was she was 35 minutes late picking up her lo Friday not any communication no apology, she is contracted till 4.30 not 5.05! Then she comes in sits down!! And sits lo on her lap and says can you get her shoes I'm so tired! ( her bag, coat and shoes are always placed on the stairs Right next to the door at pick up time so can be grande and go!) then tried but couldn't master the knot so asked if I could undo the knot as she has acrylic long nails. Ok fine but beating in mind I'm not getting payed now and she is her parent and responsible for her now! So I did undo them and passed them back to her to put them in herself ( I knew full well she expected me to put them on her lo but sorry no ! ) the attitude from her nothing was said but it was there you know? She made it so awkward for herself just take lo off your lap and put her flipping shoes on and don't have attitude to sort your own child out!!!
Through all this she didn't leave til 5.45 and I had plans that I was very late for!
Ahhhhhhhhh sorry rant!

littlebears1009
10-08-2014, 07:39 AM
That's rubbish! I was also late for plans due to a half hour late pick up but that's another story! But to still be there an hour and quarter after finish time. I would have had my coat and shoes on and lo coat and shoes on ready to go when she came and if she sat down id have told her she was over 30 minutes late which will be added to her bill and that you have plans so cannot sit around and chat, or handed over at the door and not given the opportunity to come in and sit down. It's very hard because I am not confrontational at all, however I think you need to get a bit tougher with this woman as that is not on! X

blue bear
10-08-2014, 08:28 AM
If this was my parent I would be giving her four weeks notice tomorrow in writing with a big smile on my face along with a bill for the outstanding fees and the late pick up on Friday.
She is taking the mickey take control back you will feel so much better.

natlou82
10-08-2014, 08:36 AM
I can tell from your posts that you care so much for this LO and that's the main reason we do this job, but another big reason we do this job is to provide for our own families and you can't do that when you are providing care for next to nothing! As you say your EY space needs to be lucrative and it's not at all at the min. Advertise and as soon as you get a good enquiry snap it up, surely they can't treat you worse than this parent. Good luck :-)

Kiddleywinks
10-08-2014, 09:18 AM
Without meaning to offend, you need to stand up to this parent and quickly! Time to get Wibbles hairy ones I think.

Bill for any extra time - not able to put her own child's shoes on due to having nails? Really?! How does she get them on in the morning then? Or deal with buttons?
Late payments? Start charging your late fee - that's what it's there for
Wanting to change hours - well, that happens, and we all try to accommodate that, but, when was the last time you reviewed your fees? Do you have a higher rate for less hours? A flat rate charge for x amount of hours? If you did a reduced rate for the original hours, the reduced rate no longer applies as the new hours are not what was originally agreed.
4 weeks notice is not negotiable, and starts when you have received written confirmation of the changes, if you cannot do, or do not wish to do, the changes, then you advise that this is not a viable option for you so will either have to renegotiate (give options you are happy with for parent to check which is most suitable for them), or unfortunately, have to give notice.

Take back control! ;):thumbsup:

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 09:33 AM
Thanks all

I know the whole nail thing really peed me off!!

I think I do need to take back control as being late not informing me or even a. Apology actually no mention of it at all is unacceptable and I should of said something there and then and I wish I just said oh I was expecting you at 4.30 would of made my stand there and then but no I didn't want the confrontation!!!

Kiddleywinks
10-08-2014, 09:42 AM
.... but no I didn't want the confrontation!!!

I think this is part of the problem for a lot of people...

Confrontation is a hostile or argumentative situation, it really doesn't need to be confrontational.
Being assertive, confident without being aggressive, is what you need ;)

Mum, it's really not acceptable for you to be over 30 mins late without even letting me know. In future, can you please advise me of any late arrival, and this will be billed at the end of the week/month in line with our contract.
Also in future, I will have LO ready at your expected contract time, shoes and coat on ready, and handover will be done at the door.

Just a thought ;)

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 11:40 AM
I think this is part of the problem for a lot of people... Confrontation is a hostile or argumentative situation, it really doesn't need to be confrontational. Being assertive, confident without being aggressive, is what you need ;) Mum, it's really not acceptable for you to be over 30 mins late without even letting me know. In future, can you please advise me of any late arrival, and this will be billed at the end of the week/month in line with our contract. Also in future, I will have LO ready at your expected contract time, shoes and coat on ready, and handover will be done at the door. Just a thought ;)

Definitely I am going to do this from now on!

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 11:43 AM
Just had a text from mum saying yes she wants to take me up on the 2 weeks notice ( of course she does duh) but then also said she doesn't think she is going back to college gosh knows what that can mean. Waiting on a text now as I asked her just that.

My new question is can I say in a letter as a condition to me letting her off the 2 extra week notice period that I want the same 2 weeks termination of contract? I know this could backfire but to be honest it might be better for me to fill the space anyway!
Can I do that or is that not allowed?

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 04:03 PM
Sorry I didn't explain myself then actually.
Please read this aswell as previous message to make sense lol
Where I'm letting off 2 weeks notice period of less hours I want to change my contract termination notice period also to 2 weeks ? Can that be done?

littlebears1009
10-08-2014, 04:13 PM
If you change it in the contract when you change her notice period sure! As long as mum agrees and you explain before she signs x

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 04:36 PM
If you change it in the contract when you change her notice period sure! As long as mum agrees and you explain before she signs x

Great thanks x

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 05:28 PM
Sorry one more question lol do I just adjust old contract or have a whole new one written up?

loocyloo
10-08-2014, 05:48 PM
I write a contract amendment stating
Contract Amendment at the top of the page then the child's name, dob and address and then what the change is ... so for you I would specify the new hours and fee for those hours plus the change to 2 weeks paid notice.
Then state that ALL OTHER AGREEMENTS ARE AS PER ORIGINAL CONTRACT SIGNED (and put in the date original contract was signed)
Then you and parent/s sign, print name and date amendment.
I then copy amendment and give parents a copy.

Good luck x

ja-lula-belli
10-08-2014, 05:50 PM
Great thank you x