own child doesn't want to play with mindee

[Rickers83]

I only have 1 mindee here this week due to chickenpox outbreak.

My own dd is similar age but they have nothing in common & she doesn't want to play with him.

He wont do any activities on his own & keeps asking what she us doing & following her around which is fustrating her more.

Am at a loss, as I cant force her to play with him & we seem to be spending the days with him following her around whilst she tries to get away!!

[Mouse]

Can you come up with some activities that all 3 of you can do together? How old are they?

I have one mindee who none of the others like and who no one wants to play with. I come up with a compromise. The children all have to spend some time playing together, but they also have some time when this particular child has to play something else and leave them alone. I'm hoping they learn that sometimes they have to be nice to people they don't like, but also that they have the right to some time without him. Similarly I'm hoping that the unpopular child is learning how he needs to behave if he wants the others to play with him and that at times he will have to play alone.

Joint activities tend to be those that I'm more involved in - baking, group craft (eg. making a house out of a big cardboard box), story time, music sessions etc. We do a lot of adult led activities while this child is here, but free play time is just that - everyone doing what they want. I will either tell this child he will have to play with something else, or I play with him.

I wouldn't force your daughter to play if she doesn't want to, but I would tell her that sometimes it's nice to let someone else play. Don't be afraid to tell the other child to leave her alone, but always try to distract him with something you think he will like to do.

[mrsb79]

I have a challenging mindee at present who doesn't play nicely with others hence why they don't want to play with him. I'm lucky I guess that my boys are older (14+11) that once they have had enough they retreat to their rooms. However my poor 7 month old and other young mindees are suffering as he constantly raises his voice or becomes boisterous the minute they wish to sleep so in good weather I'm having to ask him to play outside so the littlies can get some rest once asleep I go outside and entertain him but it's really hard work. Give them both some paper and crayons and ask them to do a picture of each other and maybe chill out for the afternoon with a DVD xx

[Maza]

Ahhh. I have had a week of this but it has been my DD on the receiving end and it breaks my heart. In my DD's case it has been more of a three's a crowd and the other two have had more in common or known each other for longer. I would hate to think of her being excluded if I wasn't there to distract her and comfort her. Great advice from Mouse about doing stuff together but also talk to your daughter to help her see that one day she may find herself in his position. It would be a good life skill to learn as we all have to work alongside people we don't necessarily like.