help me pls ladies & men (if any)

[Wendy Woo]

right i have spoke to 2 of my childminder friends bout this and they both said the same but i want a wider range of input pls. appologies now if its a long one x x x

i started minding last oct with R and my little george to begin with they got on fine but over last couple of months they have had a lot of head buttin if u no wot i mean.

i look afta another nboy now E and him and george get on soooo well they are very similar personalities which is y they get on i think.

Now r is very dry and doesnt really join in but ween he does he just winds george up and provoks SP!!! him. then george lashes out but i think r does a lot more on the sligh!!! Last week he headbutted george just cause he stood behimd him!!!!!!

basically im not sure wether to continue care for r. george keeps gettin told of and i dont think its always his fault!!!! I no it will anoy mum which is wot is gettin at me as this mum is the one that made me cry by havin a go wen i had a day of for george bein ill!!!!!

Wot would u all do!!!! I hope this makes sense!!!!!

[Mrs.L.C]

Id maybe try going to different tots groups/outings daily so they can all mix with other children more and see what happens. Speak to all parents for suggestions/ideas why its happening-maybe its the same at home with siblings. Try dif behaviour techniques like ignoring negative, encouraging and praising when they all play together nicely etc but at the end of the day if you think its affecting you/your own child/others then you have to do what you think is best and if I had tried everything I could to try and change this situation I would give notice but making it clear that I have tried everything when telling the parents and try to help them find alternative arrangments.

Hope you sort it out. Fingers crossed

[angeldelight]

To be honest Wendy I think its " what do YOU want to do ? "

You dont really seem happy with the situation - are you ?

I think you should do what is right for YOU and your FAMILY

Angel xxx

[Wendy Woo]

Id maybe try going to different tots groups/outings daily so they can all mix with other children more and see what happens. Speak to all parents for suggestions/ideas why its happening-maybe its the same at home with siblings. Try dif behaviour techniques like ignoring negative, encouraging and praising when they all play together nicely etc but at the end of the day if you think its affecting you/your own child/others then you have to do what you think is best and if I had tried everything I could to try and change this situation I would give notice but making it clear that I have tried everything when telling the parents and try to help them find alternative arrangments.

Hope you sort it out. Fingers crossed

thanx for ur advice we do go out a fair bit at the mo and r has nothin to do with many others either he keeps himself to himself ( has a older sister and last all he is used to at home) i try to encourage play but he just wanders of and i cant force him!!!

[Wendy Woo]

To be honest Wendy I think its " what do YOU want to do ? "

You dont really seem happy with the situation - are you ?

I think you should do what is right for YOU and your FAMILY

Angel xxx

thanx angel ur always there wen i need it. U talk lots of sense think its gonna be a tough desicion. gonna leave it till afta holiday i think then see wot happens.

[Mrs.L.C]

How old is the child in question?

[angeldelight]

Yes Wendy go on holiday and have a great time and think about it when you come back

You really dont want this parent upsetting you again before you go away - she seems really hard to speak with anyway

Then when you come back do what is right for YOU

Angel xx

[Wendy Woo]

How old is the child in question?

3 in december

[Mrs.L.C]

3 in december

At that age then where they usaly do start to play alongside/with others. was going to say, if they were younger, that most children just go off and do their own thing. For example I care for a 20 month old who wouldnt play with any toys even if I was sitting their encouraging him or alongside/with other children and their games/avtivities. He would just throw everything or eat it.

fianly though he is now playing with the toys and not throwing them all the time and joining in with more activities


Do what your gut tells you. i think sometimes we can think more about the parents than ourselves and end up feeling crapy/ill

[mrsb]

You must do what is right for you and your family, especially your lil boy. I had a similar situation with my daughter and a mindee the same age, they adored each other when she started with me but then griped on each other, in the end the mindee was very sly about getting at my daughter and trying to get her told off etc so I gave notice, I was fed up with telling my daughter off when things weren'e always her fault :(

Do what you think is best for all of you, good luck!

[kindredspirits]

i've got to say - if it were me, my child comes first. i know its not an easy decision but at the end of the day i guess most of us at one point have thought that childminding benefits our children (i.e. being able to stay at home with them etc) and this isn't fair on george.

hth a bit. hope you feel ok about making whatever decision your gut is telling you.

anna xx

[Cazz]

Not really experienced enough to offer advice as haven't started minding yet but my opinion would be that you should do what is best for your little boy as it's not fair if he is being provoked and being told off lots. We were told on our icp course that sometimes your own children just won't "gel" with mindees and as it's your child's home you must consider their needs and feelings.

Let us know what you decide to do and have a super holiday.

Carole x

[Bushpig]

I am lucky in that I do not have my own child to think of in the scenario... but I do think of my hubby.. and if things got to a stage when it was detrimental to us and our home, I would put a stop to it. My previous job in a publishing company demanded huge things from me, in the office all wkend for no pay etc. and was detrimental to us in many ways. I got out. If it affects your little girl (and her development), it's not perhaps a healthy arrangement for your family? Go with your gut. hth x

[Wendy Woo]

thank u everyone for ur help and advice

i am gonna go have a brill holiday then give it my full attention when i get home

they r both here this morning and havent had anythin to do with each other as i have the older girls here also and r is just playin with them!!!

ah its all good fun. i sometimes wonder y we do it u no!!!!

[Tatia]

Just adding a small bit - I have a mindee who just turned 3 beginning of July. He has only just started mixing with the other children. Before that, he was very content to play on his own or parallell (gawd, how DO you spell that stupid word? I've tried several ways and none look right!:mad: ) play alongside the others, not joining in but happy to do his own thing.

Sometimes he and my DD get along famously and other times, they are bitterest enemies. That's what kids do so I just keep my eye on the situation to make sure it doesn't escalate (and it's generally my DD who is doing the escalating!:rolleyes: ).

Have a great holiday! Mine starts Friday at 6pm!:clapping:

[Julia]

I no it will anoy mum which is wot is gettin at me as this mum is the one that made me cry by havin a go wen i had a day of for george bein ill!!!!!

Wot would u all do!!!! I hope this makes sense!!!!!

*** she made you cry because you needed an emergancy day off and her child is acting like a thug!! well we all know where he got that from then dont we:p

Ive had to terminate a contract because a child was constantly bullying another child, I tried talking to him his parents (who came up with all sorts of excuses and eventually blamed me) but enough was enough and I got shot off him, the best feeling in the world is saying goodbye to a child you dont want in your setting anymore, brilliant, even better if the parents are horrible too, you'll be waving bye bye trying not to punch the air and shout "YEAH"

At the end of the day, its not a nice decision to make but make it you must, either grit your teeth and bear it or cut your losses and terminate the contract.

Good luck either way:jump for joy: