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ziggy
08-07-2014, 02:18 PM
Having read alot online and in papers over weekend about Rolf Harris and other so called 'celebraties' who have abused children over many many years I do wonder if this is going to have an adverse effect on the future of childcare.

I was a teenager in the 70's and it was a very different world. Children werent expected to respect adults and wouldnt dare say 'No' to one. As was mentioned on the radio today many girls and boys who told of abuse werent listened to or believed. Who knows why!!!!!! I'm certain we are going to hear alot more about this over the coming months.

But I feel the children we now care for are at risk of not being able to develop social skills that will help them deal with the real world as an adult. This rule of having to keep children within sight and/or sound at all times is surely not possible. We all have to go to the bathroom, change nappies while at groups, make cup of tea, attend to a child who is upset or needs first aid, pop upstairs to put a baby to bed etc etc etc. So in my opinion it is totally impossible 24/7.

Children are no longer allowed to walk to school, play out on the streets with friends, go to the park alone. Many (not all i know) are indoors attached to some screen or another living in a virtual world. How will this teach them about how to cope when they leave home to go to uni or how to cope with workplace bullies etc?

I'm not sure what the answer is but if we think that crb means 'they havent been caught yet' as was mentioned to me at Christmas and was on a post on this site today, then I truly worry about the future of the children we are currently caring for

ziggy
08-07-2014, 05:03 PM
sorry the above should say 'were' not 'werent'

sarah707
08-07-2014, 07:16 PM
With my own children I tried to find a balance of freedom vs staying safe. It's a constant balancing act.

I suppose with other people's children it's not our decision we have to follow the rules and hope parents allow them some elastic to learn about risk etc x

amyp
08-07-2014, 07:36 PM
With my own daughter I teach her independence and to learn from her mistakes- with other peoples children we try to make the mistakes together but it's hard. I just told ofsted last week that I assess risks I do not eliminate them.

I want all my children to have common sense- so many people lack this!

Maza
08-07-2014, 11:15 PM
As parents we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. You can't blame us for becoming slightly paranoid over safety with all the horror stories we hear, and of course increased amount of traffic which makes it less safe for our kids to play out/walk to school. Yes, in the 70s kids were generally more subservient but the 70s were FAR from the so called 'good old days' that some people claim they were.

ziggy
09-07-2014, 12:08 AM
As parents we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. You can't blame us for becoming slightly paranoid over safety with all the horror stories we hear, and of course increased amount of traffic which makes it less safe for our kids to play out/walk to school. Yes, in the 70s kids were generally more subservient but the 70s were FAR from the so called 'good old days' that some people claim they were.

that is exactly my point, they werent the 'good old days'!!!! Children werent believed or listened to when they reported abuse. The adults of that time who turned a blind eye are as guilty as the abusers

Simona
09-07-2014, 06:46 AM
that is exactly my point, they werent the 'good old days'!!!! Children werent believed or listened to when they reported abuse. The adults of that time who turned a blind eye are as guilty as the abusers

That is the sad thing ...no one listened and it took years for some to find the courage to come forward

I am sure we are all in for a shock when the enquiry opens into the possible cover up of CSA in the political establishment which has been relentlessly in the news the last few days


What is shocking in many cases is that people knew but didn't tell....it may have been a cover up
I am not surprised that some people are campaigning to make reporting abuse compulsory rather than a duty as it is at present.

hectors house
09-07-2014, 07:31 AM
As a child who grew up in the 70's I am devastated to find that my childhood was a scam and all the favourite catchphrases of celebrities we knew and admired are now taboo eg: Gary Glitter - "Do you want to me in my gang", Jimmy Saville "Jim'll fix it for you and Clunk click every trip" and now I have a old song CD that the mindees love that has Rolf Harris singing "Tie me kangaroo down sport and others"

Actually now looking at those catchphrases - maybe we should have realised something was up as they all sound dodgy!

I know there is no smoke without fire but the skeptic in me still wonders if some people have just jumped on the bandwagon - I met the Wombles in Martins newsagents in 1974 after they had played on the roof of the shopping prescient, maybe Bungo held my hand for too long when he handed back my autographed paper!

shortstuff
09-07-2014, 08:18 AM
I have to say as a person who was on the receiving end of some inappropriate things as an early teen speaking out about it is the hardest thing in the world. To family is hard enough but to complete strangers? then to worry that they wont believe you as there is no physical evidence? I kept my mouth firmly shut. Which didnt help when my Mum supported the abuser even when they owned up!!!!!

I personally dont understand why people speak about it so many years later, sorry just my view.

mama2three
09-07-2014, 08:36 AM
I have to say as a person who was on the receiving end of some inappropriate things as an early teen speaking out about it is the hardest thing in the world. To family is hard enough but to complete strangers? then to worry that they wont believe you as there is no physical evidence? I kept my mouth firmly shut. Which didnt help when my Mum supported the abuser even when they owned up!!!!!

I personally dont understand why people speak about it so many years later, sorry just my view.

I think theres lots of reasons why people speak out years later.. maybe a sense of closure , or justice perhaps. But Im sorry to have to agree with hectors house , some will have spoken out or all the wrong reasons too , maybe in high profile cases they may get compensation or their 5 minutes of fame.

Im truly not belittling those who have suffered genuine abuse , but don't feel this is always the case....

Mouse
09-07-2014, 08:50 AM
As a child who grew up in the 70's I am devastated to find that my childhood was a scam and all the favourite catchphrases of celebrities we knew and admired are now taboo eg: Gary Glitter - "Do you want to me in my gang", Jimmy Saville "Jim'll fix it for you and Clunk click every trip" and now I have a old song CD that the mindees love that has Rolf Harris singing "Tie me kangaroo down sport and others"

Actually now looking at those catchphrases - maybe we should have realised something was up as they all sound dodgy!

I know there is no smoke without fire but the skeptic in me still wonders if some people have just jumped on the bandwagon - I met the Wombles in Martins newsagents in 1974 after they had played on the roof of the shopping prescient, maybe Bungo held my hand for too long when he handed back my autographed paper!

I think this is still part of the bigger issue. When people do find the courage to speak out they're met with scepticism :( It's sad that some people can turn abuse into something to joke about. How will victims ever be treated seriously while some people still see it as something funny?

mama2three
09-07-2014, 09:02 AM
I think the level of shock the whole nation is feeling at the moment about these high profile cases is always going to lead to some humour being injected into the situation. Its a natural defence mechanism unfortunately. And whilst ever there are a small number of people who have 'jumped on the bandwagon' there are going to be others who become sceptical. Think of those who haven't seeked out support and help , instead they have gone to the press. I find that hard to understand .

The people who genuinely need support hopefully have loved ones around them who wouldn't doubt them for a second , I know this isn't always the case and pray that those who still suffer and feel alone will find the courage to seek out appropriate help.


(I don't even think seeked is a word!!)

Maza
09-07-2014, 11:04 AM
that is exactly my point, they werent the 'good old days'!!!! Children werent believed or listened to when they reported abuse. The adults of that time who turned a blind eye are as guilty as the abusers

No, I know you weren't Ziggy, sorry, didn't mean it that way. I was just still reeling from a couple of 'elderly' ladies on my bus earlier who were tutting at some poor young mum trying to get her pushchair on the bus - you know, the type of conversation that starts with "In my day bla bla bla..." They also used the phrase "the good old days" at which point I had to speak up. A similar conversation took place at playgroup when someone's granny came along and she was almost mocking us all saying "young mothers today...". She managed to irritate everyone there! I think my in-laws invented those phrases!