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View Full Version : Very rough 10 month old - help?!



HTSMumma
08-07-2014, 01:54 PM
Hello experienced Childminders.

I have an issue with a new baby who has started with me. She has had many settling in sessions and is in her forth week with me. She is 10 months old and crawling. She has settled well and if it wasn't for one issue, everything would be fine.

She's incredibly rough. She crawls up to my son and other children and will climb on them, pull their hair, slap them, bite them etc. She has three much older brothers who rough play with her and will let her get away with blue murder, but it's obviously not washing with my 2yr old and the other little ones.
She's made them cry, I've never seen anything like it; a baby of 10 months causing so much hassle and pain on others!!

Has anyone experienced this before? I think her 7yr old and 12yr old brothers are to 'blame', letting her get away with this/actively encouraging it.
I keep pulling her away, but she'll head straight for them. I've tried distraction - works temporarily.
I told mum she was rough with the boys yesterday, but how on earth do you tell a mum of a 10 month old baby that their little one is hurting bigger boys and making them cry??!?!?! Mum is lovely, but I just don't know what to say to her/how to overcome this hitting/hair pulling/biting/boisterous behaviour?

Completely baffled!

Thanks in advance.

Elkie Mawdsley
08-07-2014, 02:25 PM
I don't really have any suggestions I'm afraid, but watching the thread with interest.

My own lo who is 9 months will climb up anyone or anything at the moment as he always wants to be on his feet - he doesn't really understand that you shouldn't climb up oyher small people as they are likely to fall over - and when I move him away - he will go back as he thinks it is a game.

I think it is hard with this age group as they don't fully understand the word no - and have no concept of causing pain on others.

In regards to biting - if my son did this - I gently out my fingers in his lips and saod no bite - it took a while but he does seemed to have learned not to do this.

Good luck x

sarah707
08-07-2014, 07:18 PM
If that's the type of interaction she is used to - then she's probably trying to make friends the only way she knows!!

Meeting with parents - talk about the concerns - explain it needs to change and they have to support you at home - think about positive behaviour management techniques - get older brothers on side.

Set a time scale - you have to safeguard the other children.

Good luck x

VeggieSausage
08-07-2014, 07:58 PM
I have had this with a child before with 2 older siblings who used to have fun pushing each other etc and the younger sibling was being too rough with the children here. It very quickly sorted itself and the child learnt not to do it here and often I have seen when one of his siblings turn up with the mum he immediately falls back into the old behaviour of pushing etc so it can be that children learn to do one thing at yours and not at home....persevere but keep him with you at all times.....speak to mum and reiterate his behaviour and it would be good if they supported at home too.....

HTSMumma
09-07-2014, 12:16 PM
Thanks for your replies.
I think I'm just a little concerned about bringing up issues with mum so early in our parent/childminder relationship! I need to woman up and speak to her!
She's a lovely, sweet baby so I'm sure it'll sort itself out quickly!

VeggieSausage
10-07-2014, 11:36 AM
Believe me its better to chat about the issues from the beginning that not say anything and leave it, when I first started I had a situation with a high pitched screamer that although I mentioned a little I didn't discuss as I should have done, it carried on and on until I got to the end of my tether and the other children were suffering.....ended up giving notice after involving parents etc but basically would have been a lot better to fully involve them from the beginning.....for your own sake do it....