No more babies...

[littlebears1009]

Are there any of you that dont take on under 12 months for any reason? My first ever mindee was 7 months old and it put me off n i went back to a normal job for 6 months. I now have a 6 month old, first week he was fab, this week he isnt so fab. Cried whenever I take attention off him onto others, wakes at the slightest noise and then screams all day cos tired (will only sleep in pram downstairs so others have to be quiet to get some time with me) when i say others i mean my own dds, I have just put him upstairs in travel cot as he is shattered but refusing to give in. (Writing this while sat outside the room on "guard" lol). I feel like I am failing again but i know now i will not take on another child under 12 months no matter how much I need the money. My own dd misses out on days she isnt at nursery because I have to push him to sleep (or wait outside the room for ages) or she has to play baby toys because I cant take attention off him. On days when my dd is at nursery he is fine because I tiptoe round when hes asleep and he has my attention. I am dreading the holidays as I cant ask all the holiday children to shhhh for his naps and entertain themselves all day!

[smurfette]

Hugs for you know what that is like lol!! Could u maybe put a monitor in the room he is in,,, turn it low so you can still hear him and if needs be and you can let him cry a bit.. I have had to do this for one I have just started poor love was breastfed to sleep and didn't know what hit him when He was here and I couldn't lol! He wouldn't let me rock him and wouldn't settle in cot so I have him cozy in a footmuff and he now settled with hardly a whimper.. Taken about 7 weeks but only have him three days a week. Nightmare also cos others are older and only need a midday nap and he was always wanting to sleep when others were up so I had to try keep them quiet and vice versa!! I have finally figured out a routine where I pop him straight down when he arrives at 8, he sleeps for an hour or so,, others don't arrive Til 830/9 and have some breakfast and tv time then we get him up and we go out,. He is happy enough when out as is distracted then is going for a sleep with others at lunch time. In my ideal world I would only take over 18 months cos I think even at 12 months they can have separation anxiety which makes it hard for them to settle! Give me three two year olds any day over one 11 month old lol!!

How long have u had him?

[littlebears1009]

Ive only had him a couple of weeks now, i have him 3 days 3 week in 4 and 5 days the other week. He is only temp for now but could become perm (not sure which im hoping for lol) he currently naps about 9am but this is no good when im going to groups so hes cranky at the group as wont sleep because of noise and then is over tired n wont sleep or wakes too easily back home. So his sleep routine on some days is not the same as others. Im trying slowly to change it, its just the waking at slightest noise then refusing to go bk down n being tired all day thats frustrating. I eventually got him up, came down and my 3 yo dd fast asleep must have got bored of waiting for me to play dollys n that breaks my heart! He is also breastfed at home so struggle to get food and drink in him while hes here but he doesnt seem too bothered about it. I would also love to have just 18 months plus! Can occupy them all day long!

[Kirstylob]

You say he will only sleep in the pram downstairs, have you tried him in the pram upstairs? Maybe that would make him feel more secure and he'd settle better? Good luck and you are definitely NOT failing. You have a daughter who is doing fine so its not you. Don't be too hard on yourself. X

[littlebears1009]

I could try the pram upstairs thing yes! Good idea! Only most the time he is asleep and put in the pram from the car however he isnt usually for his afternoon nap. Im sure ill find ways to work around it im just pulling my hair out right now lol. I have a 4 day weekend now as dont have him after today until tues so I will have a few days to A.rest B. Think of a few things to put in place and C. Drink enough wine to gear me up for next week hehe!

[AliceK]

I had a LO 7mths old who was a nightmare due to mum and dad picking him up at the slightest whimper, he was never allowed to cry so consequently when he came to me and I couldn't walk around carrying him all day it was awful. He didn't sleep either, it was hell. Didn't help that mum just wasn't on board with trying to change anything. I gave notice and vowed then not to take on another baby under 12mths old. I did however last year take on a 10mth old but only because he was the sibling of a current child and I am soon to take on another 10mth old who is also a sibling of an exisiting child. It's only because I already know the parents that I will do this otherwise it's a big no no from me now.

xxxx

[JKL]

Have you tried swaddling him? My DS would only sleep when swaddled until about 7/8 months. It just provides them with a little more security when you're not holding them? Just thinking you could try it until he's a little more used to being left?

Also do you put him down awake/asleep? I personally feel babies should be put down when they are drowsy but awake, purely as they learn to settle themselves. Just my opinion though.

Finally it might be worth playing music when he's dropping and asleep to get him used to a little noise and then gradually increase it. My DS always takes much longer to go off when the room/house is quiet, yet put him in a crowd/party and he's out like a light! Lol! Edited to say: we went to the whit Friday brass band contest last week and he slept the entire time with full marching bands playing and a huge crowd of people.

Good luck xxx

[Maza]

Oh I've been there too. It's the fact that your own child is missing out/having to be quiet that's the most frustrating thing isn't it? You basically have two choices - you carry on as you are (I did and I totally regret it as I can't get that time back with my daughter) or you do 'tough love' with the baby. Yes, he will cry/scream when you put him to sleep in the cotbed and may cry/scream if he wakes up after five minutes and you don't rush to him right away, but he will get into a routine. I only had my little one three days a week and mum asked me to have him full time after a while. I said no and so he went to nursery for the other two days. It was the best thing ever because nursery very quickly changed his habits because he had to fit into their rigid routine. He had to get used to sleeping on a mat in a room full of other toddlers - and I doubt it was a pitch black room like he 'needed' at my house. So, what I am saying is, he can be trained but you have to be sooo consistent and prepared for a bit of crying. I got 'snappy' if my daughter woke him up by playing too loudly and I really regret that. He's three in a few weeks and can sleep through anything!

[littlebears1009]

Have you tried swaddling him? My DS would only sleep when swaddled until about 7/8 months. It just provides them with a little more security when you're not holding them? Just thinking you could try it until he's a little more used to being left?

Also do you put him down awake/asleep? I personally feel babies should be put down when they are drowsy but awake, purely as they learn to settle themselves. Just my opinion though.

Finally it might be worth playing music when he's dropping and asleep to get him used to a little noise and then gradually increase it. My DS always takes much longer to go off when the room/house is quiet, yet put him in a crowd/party and he's out like a light! Lol! Edited to say: we went to the whit Friday brass band contest last week and he slept the entire time with full marching bands playing and a huge crowd of people.

Good luck xxx

The music idea sounds good, I havent tried swaddling him no, something else to try. He will not sleep being held as he us breast fed at home so all he does is kick about throwing himself around trying to find milk and then gets frustrated.

[ziggy]

Have you tried swaddling him? My DS would only sleep when swaddled until about 7/8 months. It just provides them with a little more security when you're not holding them? Just thinking you could try it until he's a little more used to being left?

Also do you put him down awake/asleep? I personally feel babies should be put down when they are drowsy but awake, purely as they learn to settle themselves. Just my opinion though.

Finally it might be worth playing music when he's dropping and asleep to get him used to a little noise and then gradually increase it. My DS always takes much longer to go off when the room/house is quiet, yet put him in a crowd/party and he's out like a light! Lol! Edited to say: we went to the whit Friday brass band contest last week and he slept the entire time with full marching bands playing and a huge crowd of people.

Good luck xxx

Excellent advice. I swaddle mine and always leave radio on v v quietly. Then they are less likely to be disturbed by others playing.

All my mindees sleep better here than at home. But once I put a child to bed I never let them get up (obviously only if they are tired).

After many years in this job i have now decided only to have babies, doing nursery and school run is far too difficult with babies who need feeding or a sleep. I realise when you have little ones of your own it isnt that simple but maybe having young babies doesnt suit at the moment.

Good luck