is it just me?????

[ziggy]

I live in Ireland (not sure if it's location or the same everywhere). BUT do all parents expect minders to spend 11 hours a day either in house or at organised groups?

I have dental appt so mentioned to parent of only child i have on weds that I am happy to take child, mentioned we may meet a friend for lunch. Now this 'friend' is checked, my age, female, has 5 children of her own, works in local old people's day centre, married. Mummy seemed ok about it, then Daddy phoned to say they would prefer me to leave child with granny as they dont want their child meeting people they dont know.

So gonna have chat this evening as not sure where i stand with this. My mum mentioned she is going garden centre nearby tomorrow, so i thought i would take 2 mindees in buggy and have wander round, buy some plants for them to plant in pots etc etc. My mum isnt known to 2 of my families.

Summer holidays start here next week and friends with children will be inviting us out for play days, beach days etc and again not all my friends are known to all my families.

Really at a loss to know what to say to parents this evening. I work 7am till 6.30pm for 5 days a week and I live alone, do I have to accept that I have to stay in and never speak to anyone unless parents know them?

[Kiddleywinks]

I would explain that at no time is their LO left in anyone elses care, and it is unnatural to expect a LO to not socialise with the wider community.
Find out what their concerns are about not socialising their child and integrating them into daily life and new experiences so you can further explain why they do not need to be concerned, and hopefully they will come round.

I'd go batty if I was stuck indoors all day every day, never speaking to anyone my parents didn't know?!
Parents need to understand they cannot 'vet' every person that comes into their childs life, and that you would not be doing anything to put their child at risk of harm :panic:

[tess1981]

All my parents know I take kids to doctors super market friends house etc... They are more than happy. I explain it breaks up the day and kids get "normal" experience during the day and know how to behave when out and about.... also mention how difficult it is to sit indoors all day every day... do they do this Saturday and Sunday ?????
If business good I would talk to family and say arrangement not going to work of they expect you to sit indoors you will grow to resent the family coming
Do you have children of your own are they expected to spend all summer indoors?
I told all my families this week that I will not be available Wednesday for July and August. One full time family were told I will only take their children under this condition and granny going to mind them Wednesdays my other part timers who usually do not use Wednesday were told the same they were all more than happy. I explained I could not do it to my own kids being at home most of the day depending on the number of children I have there are days we can't get out

[ziggy]

oh dear, feeling very down:(

[caz3007]

Talk to the parent and find out their worries and work to alleviate them. It's good for children to be mixing with others, adults and children.

[line6]

If I had your plans for tomorrow I'd say that I was taking them to buy plants to then plant in the garden. What a coincidence that you bumped into your mum there! It's good for me to be out and about and meeting people. Definitely need to chat to them to find out what's bothering them. You'll go mad if you can't go out for fear of bumping into someone!!

[Kiddleywinks]

If I had your plans for tomorrow I'd say that I was taking them to buy plants to then plant in the garden. What a coincidence that you bumped into your mum there! It's good for me to be out and about and meeting people. Definitely need to chat to them to find out what's bothering them. You'll go mad if you can't go out for fear of bumping into someone!!


Agreed
Alternatively, give notice now

[loocyloo]

good luck for tomorrow ziggy. I too would be going to buy plants and would bump into a friend there.

xxx

all my parents are told from the beginning that I go out and about, meet up with friends etc and those that are not happy with that do not sign up with me! most of my parents have come to me because they ( or someone they know! ) have seen me out and about!

[ziggy]

thanks to you all. mum was bit embarrassed. I had long chat with her. Asked about visiting friends with children over summer etc etc. She said 'oh yes we just wont tell daddy'. Obviously i wasnt happy with that, so told her to have long chat with daddy and let me know his decision. I've said i will text before we go anywhere to put her mind at ease (and to cover myself)

anyway havent got baby till next week so just see what happens. gonna buy bottle of red wine and sit in garden, sometimes this job can be so frustrating

[Tazmin68]

God
He would have a fit with me. Last Wednesday had a last minute appointment for my oldest so to visit paedtrician no way was going to cancel as been waiting 3 months so took LO along. Last Thursday I had dentist appointment usual 6 month check up This Tuesday my two boys had dentist appointment again 6 month check up. Next week on Tuesday I have school sports day once a year, Wednesday we have an informal coffee morning for 1 1/2 hours at my oldest sons new secondary school where he starts in September and Thursday I have a nurse appointment for hep vaccination . Not normally mad like this and looking forward to a quieter couple of weeks after but these things happen and if I cancelled childcare I think parents would be more put out.
Deb

[watford wizz]

I tell parents/carers that children are involved with normal family life including visits and chores.

[MrsP2C]

Whilst I agree that telling parents about dental appointments etc & giving them the option of making other arrangements (but their choice so obv they still pay) but tbh it would drive me crackers if I had to clear every outing with parent(s).
Most of my parents find out after the event via daily diaries or chat at handover what we've done that day. In your situation op I'd be explaining I'm not employed by them like a nanny so set my own day & if a parent had a problem with this I'd seriously consider giving notice.

[Maza]

I think Dad needs reassurance that all the 'outings' that you do will be child friendly and that the child will remain your priority throughout, no different from when you take him to playgroups. Could he have go the wrong impression and be thinking that little one will be just 'tagging along' while you have a good old gossip with your friends? Reassure him that you are a professional person and will put the child's needs first no matter where you are and who you are with, but he needs to trust that you will make appropriate decisions throughout the day. All conversations will be appropriate and any people that you introduce the child to will be like minded etc etc. Like someone else said, make it clear that their child will never be left alone with any other person because you take your safe guarding role very seriously.

Obviously WE all know that we need to get out and about for our own sanity and for things like appointments, but most parents are understandably not as interested in our needs as much as the needs of their child. So when you justify your 'trips out' do it from the child's point of view - for example - they will love the bus ride, or they tried some new food in the café, or we will set up a role play dentist area when we get back (not sure how old your mindee is, but I'm sure you know all the lovely age appropriate things he/she will gain from your trips out). If dad still isn't happy then I don't think a child minder is the right option for them, they need a nanny or a nursery. x

[MrsP2C]

Good post Maza

[Maza]

Good post Maza

Why thank you my dear! x