what would you all do?s

[saintsue]

Had a parent bring her 18month old at 8 this morning, then at 10 she came back for him and said she is taking the child and going into sheltered housing cos she is having problems with dad, and doesn't know when the child will be back with me. He comes to me full time. Xxx

[bunyip]

Could you be specific?

Are you asking what you can do about getting paid? wanting to terminate the contract? support for the child? your legal duties over parental responsibility? or............................? :huh:

[saintsue]

Just wondering about when dad comes to getchild tonight and he is not here. What will mum have to do to stop dad being able to pick child up from here when she brings him back?

[FloraDora]

Difficult one.....you feel for that family...good that she has made the decision though....her first steps to a better life. But she is likely to be placed somewhere a little distance from you hence having to take the child.
Having said that though, this is your lively hood..... You are now left without child or her income, not many mum's who go to a refuge are financially stable.....
It really depends on the circumstances of why she has had to flee ....is she hoping to return or start a new life somewhere else where she will feel safer? If you had child full time was she working and will she continue to work? Is social services involved? Will dad try to contact you? It is best you don't know where she is if he does.
This is only a temporary arrangement, the support she will get will help her to think about her next step....so I expect you will be in limbo for a while..... I expect she hasn't thoroughly thought everything through yet and is just recovering from making this step.

[Kiddleywinks]

Just wondering about when dad comes to getchild tonight and he is not here. What will mum have to do to stop dad being able to pick child up from here when she brings him back?

I'd try not to get involved as much as possible to be honest, and just say mum collected earlier on.
If he wants to know why, just say you didn't ask, sorry.
Whilst you do know why, mum told you, you didn't ask....

Unless a parent has a court order preventing access, you cannot refuse another parent with parental responsibility from taking their child.

Sorry you're about to get drawn into this, try to remain neutral and your only interest as far as the parents are concerned is to provide stability for their child

Good luck

[Mouse]

Just wondering about when dad comes to getchild tonight and he is not here. What will mum have to do to stop dad being able to pick child up from here when she brings him back?

Would dad normally collect the child tonight?

If the child is not with you & dad turns up, you will just have to tell him that mum collected the child earlier, and no, you don't know where they are. Just plead ignorance, as if you really don't know what has happened. If he gets abusive at all, shut the door & call the police. If you are expecting him and you think he may cause trouble, do you have a husband or partner who could be home with you?

As for any future developments, you're just going to have to play it by ear. If the child comes back to you, the chances are mum will either have been given all the help she needs in preventing dad from having contact, or will just go back to her current life & dad will carry on collecting as normal.

It does leave things a bit up in the air for you, unfortunately. Harsh as it sounds, I would set about advertising the space. The last thing on mum's mind at the moment will be you (understandably), so don't wait around, assuming she may contact you at some time. Either she'll have disappeared to start a new life, or she'll return home and try again, in which case she may contact you, or may want to start afresh.

[bunyip]

I'd try not to get involved as much as possible to be honest, and just say mum collected earlier on.
If he wants to know why, just say you didn't ask, sorry.
Whilst you do know why, mum told you, you didn't ask....

Unless a parent has a court order preventing access, you cannot refuse another parent with parental responsibility from taking their child.

Sorry you're about to get drawn into this, try to remain neutral and your only interest as far as the parents are concerned is to provide stability for their child

Good luck

I agree with this.

Remember that with parental responsibility, both parents have the same rights of access to the child unless and until one successfully obtains a legal injunction or court order against the other, or maybe even the child becomes a ward of court. :huh: If you try to deny either parent their PR rights without proof that the child is in immediate danger, you could find yourself in serious trouble.

You must remain neutral irrespective of your thoughts/beliefs/feelings on the matter. Do not be swayed just because mum says this or dad says that or either one's solicitor says the other. These things are very confrontational, usually have 2 sides to the story, and parents will resort to any tactic to get their own way. :(

Btw, be very wary of solicitor's letters telling you something that has not been backed up by a court's decision. I had this once with a mum and despite having some sympathy for her, had to be determined not to give way to a solicitor attempting to apply pressure to me to deny paternal access.

Other things you need to be aware of............

I would treat this as a safeguarding & child protection concern and record/report it accordingly. Your LSCB should advise on how they view this sort of thing and what action they'd expect you to take.

You are required under EYFS to keep a record of the child's address: ie. the address of the refuge. If mum won't give that, then I'd feel I had no choice but to give immediate notice. You then have to keep that address confidential (from dad) whilst still allowing him access to other child records. Quite frankly, it's a real mess and you need legal advice for yourself asap. :(