Help with mindees phobia of flies

[mrsb79]

Hi all bit of an odd one mindee is 4 has been with me for 3 years but over the last week he has developed a phobia of anything that flies to the point he has a melt down if anything goes near him I've tried lots of different tactics but it's getting beyond a joke now as he won't go in the garden unless your with him. The odd bit he's quite happy when my other mindee is here and they try to kill the flies or other flying insects and have been asked not to do this several times but continue. I'm finding myself shut inside just to avoid his melt downs which he doesn't have whilst trying to kill them. I've spoken to mum every night this week as I'm trying to find out what has triggered this behaviour but I'm met with a brick wall. I'm at the end of my tether which seems ridiculous but I'm suffering and so are the other mindees as were not out as much as we normally are and unless I can solve this issue with some help from you lovely ladies I'm going to have to give notice as it's wearing me out. Amy advice great fully received x

[line6]

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid but my daughter has just turned 4 and she has developed a dislike of flies and the like this year. She screams and runs. If she can't run she screams and panics. I have no idea what the trigger is. I'm guessing that it's just the unpredictability of flies that upsets her. She probably hasn't taken much notice over previous years but this year she sees me but doesn't understand them. Perhaps someone told her that wasps can sting or something. I don't know. My older 2 haven't been through this. Watching this post with interest.

[amyp]

I have one who is scared of flies too! She is good with it- just freezes (looks like she has seen a ghost) and whispers- fly! Then I sort it out. Bless them x

[scottishlass]

A few years ago when my daughter was about 3 she hated anything like that bit would shout bee no matter what it was. She is better with flies now but still hates wasps and bees (she is almost 12) still not keen tho as if we are having a BBQ she will eat inside as hates flies etc coming near here when she is eating - doesn't put her off going outside in general now tho!

[Simona]

This may help...if you search on google you can find out about fear/phobia of anything flying and more related to young children

Phobias and Fears: Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help (http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_symptoms_types_treatment.htm)

[sarah707]

Can you make a little den for him where you can see him and still take the other children outside?

Or maybe stop him in his screaming tracks and teach him other ways of dealing with it - stand still... swish it away... talk to it...

It's so hard when they go through this :( Hugs xx

[scottishlass]

I used to also sing the shooh fly don't bother me song - worth a try as would stop the screaming for a missing while she figured out why I was singing!

[Bumble Beez]

This post hit home with me...
Last year I had a little one, about 3, who was petrified of flies...whether outside, inside or at another setting.
I tried very hard to be calm with the situation and it did eventually settle...we didn't try to stay away from them as it wouldn't of helped in the long run.
It did help that my cocker spaniel enjoyed trying to catch flies also, which made LO giggle every time he leaped into the air to get one lol!!
:laughing:
My advice...take it slowly, offer reassurance and maybe try to do some activities or look at books around flies and insects etc...:thumbsup:

[SYLVIA]

I had a group of mindees last year who hated insects. After trying to explain why we need insects I bought magnifying glasses and had endless bug hunts so we could study them. I made certificates for them for being brave on the bug hunt. It did seem to work although they still don't like spiders. I also found out that the parents don't like insects and that doesn't help the situation

[catherine1968]

Why not purchase a spray bottle and make a magic fly spray !
You don't have to put anything in it as fresh air is safe just get the child to decorate it.
Then the child gas there very own fly zapper !

[Maza]

How about some art and craft activities about flies? You could make them into little puppets on sticks or dangle them from string. You could use this opportunity to talk about what to do if one flies near you - and what not to do!

[cookiesncream]

Hope there are some ideas I could use, my 7 year old dd has a fly phobia. It's beyond a joke. I have no patience with it whatsoever.

[mrsb79]

Hi ladies thanks for all the replies I have tried numerous ways to alleviate his fears but I think it doesn't help that mum doesn't back me up the main issue is that he's a very clever boy and can be quite manipulative to get his own way like last week I said to him well you will have to stay inside if your scared of the flies as I don't want you getting upset, his response was in not scared anymore so off he went to play quite happily for 45 mins with no fly outbursts, I was watching him from a distance without him knowing but the minute he saw me he started screaming about flies so I think it's more of an attention thing rather than a phobia as he seems to switch it on and off to suit his needs:-( won't have that problem today as it's raining here. Any other suggestions on how to deal with the behaviour side of things please and thank you x

[Maza]

How about giving OTT praise to another child who has a sensible reaction every time a fly is around?

[mrsb79]

How about giving OTT praise to another child who has a sensible reaction every time a fly is around?
I like your thinking will give that a try x

[catherine1968]

Well in that case being Manipulative Mmmmmm here's my advise !!!
Take the pragmatic approach ! Tell him at his level ," little man I really understand that you don't like flies and I'm here for you BUT I/ we are still going to carry on as though nothing is happening when a fly calls by to say hello "!
If he insist on throwing a wobbler every time a fly is near ,remove him without any conversation or eye contact from the said FLY but more importantly his audience !! This time if you need to explain say " when you are going to play happily then please feel free to join in !"
All my children took to my new kitten until a lo return from his hols and went ballistic !!! All the lo joined in the commotion and decided they were scared to !!! My answer to this was ," l am not removing the cat so I sat down and played with the cat , soon the lo wanted a go and then the lo who had the problem realised the attention had shifted !!! Problem solved he now loves the cat !

[nikki thomson]

Cricky he'd be no good here my conservatory is like a grave yard of flies/wasps and bees, I must sweep about 50 up every day, most of the day the roof area is an array of insects trying to escape (I've come to the conclusion they are thick), we have by-folding doors wide open and they still can't figure how to get out, I just suck them all up with the Hoover, kids like that, lol. X