I'm Lonely!

[tibasaur]

Hi, my name's Kate and I've been working in childcare for about two years although most of that was in a creche setting. I've been working as a nanny for about 3 months now and the lonliness of working 10 hour shifts without speaking to another adult is becoming unbearable. I dread going in every day and I'm getting quite emotional about it. What do you all do to stay social while in work? Or how do you deal with the solitude?

[ziggy]

HI, i often feel the same. Do you go to local toddler groups, soft play etc? I have made some great friends at groups in the last 10yrs. Are there other nannies in your area?

[loocyloo]

I know how you feel. This is an isolating job. When I was a nanny I used to go out to toddler groups, baby gym, music groups etc. It's good for the children to socialise and it's good for you. I met and made some of my best friends this way.
Do you do a school run? Do your employers have friends with children/nannies. If the children you mind are older, could you arrange to meet up with the mums and their children together? I had good friends who were mums not nannies.
It is hard to put yourself out there, but do it for yourself and the children.
Thinking of you xx

[hectors house]

Find out about toddler groups and other activity groups in your area - surely the family don't expect you and their child/children to be prisoners in the house with no contact with the outside world? A nanny attends our childminding toddler groups and is made very welcome.

[amylouise867]

Just want to send you a big hug and let you know - I know how you feel too xxx

It's not easy and although rewarding can be very lonely & draining xx

Hugs xxx

[tess1981]

Many days I feel the same. I have good friends I can visit and one of he mothers is a good friend and pops in for coffee when she free. Some days all I see is the children and these are the days I feel really lonely but when I have a quieter day I get out and about. Xxx

[tibasaur]

Thanks for all the replies guys! I never thought of looking into toddler groups etc, I assumed they were just for parents. I do a school run, thats going to turn into a school and playschool run soon. I'm not sure if we'd get much of a chance to go to any play groups etc as I dont drive so the school run takes awhile and we're fairly far from the nearest village. I'll definitely look into it though, I'll try anything at this stage. I dont know anyone in the area who nannys or childminds and the mother I work for doesnt either. I'm only 21 too so none of my friends have kids that I could organise play dates with.

[hectors house]

Do your family live outside of a village? Is the school & playgroup in the village? Maybe ask at the school if they know of a toddler group you could go to - it's in their interest to support you in encouraging the children to mix with children of their own age to help them make the transition from being with you to playgroup to school.

[Maza]

How about chatting to some of the other mums with toddlers in the playground? I know it's not always easy, especially if they are already in established social groups. They could give you advice on playgroups or you could even arrange a playdate at one of your houses or at a local park. Does the older child have playdates? You could maybe initiate some and then you can get chatting to their parents too. Let us know how you get on. x

[Glitter]

Have you tried talking to your employer about the situation. I am sure they would not want you to be lonely, and they might be able to help arrange a taxi or other transport to get you and the children out of the house.

I don't know if it would work but a magazine called 'The Lady' have lots of adverts for nannies, could you place an advert asking for other nannies (or fed up childminders or even parents) in your area who might like to meet up once a month for a coffee.

[Ripeberry]

Have a word with some local childminders in your area. Many have CM only play groups and they always seem to welcome nannies as well :-)

[tibasaur]

Ive found some playgroups online but they're fairly pricey and to be honest I dont think my employer could afford the extra expense. I dont know any childminders in the area but I think I might respond to some of the job wanted ads online and see if any of the nannies would be interested in organising play dates. None of the kids have any activities to be brought to on the days I work, I think mammy keeps them for her days off which is understandable.Would be lovely to find a happy medium though. Might be a bit easier when the weather picks up and we can get down to the playground more often because as it stands we only go out on the school runs, I'm sure the kids are just as ancy for some excitement as I am haha

[Kirsty90]

I'm sure it will be a lot better when the weather improves! There's a lot of places to go which are free & provide chances to meet other mums/carers. Good luck & hope your feeling better about things soon I know the feeling about this sometimes being a very lonely job! X