Why why why?!!

[smurfette]

Do parents not prepare their child for chilcare?!!! Drives me mad! Currently have a new little fella 10m old crying his eyes out as he is tired and used to being breastfed to sleep! Poor little chap doesn't know me from Adam, and wouldn't let me rock him. So he is in cot now. They were let down by previous childminders where he had only done one hour settling in, and last week when he should have been settling in with me he had a bad dose of croup so didn't come ... It's not fair on the poor little chap

[HTSMumma]

I have a ten month old starting in mid June. She's had a few settling in sessions with me and cried the whole time. She's also breastfed to sleep and for comfort (I admit, I did the same for my 3).
Feeling very nervous about having a crying baby all day long for five days a week!

Keep me posted on how you and baby get on and hope bubs settles quickly!

[Blueeyedminder]

IMO If parents are expecting to use childcare for their children at such an early age (no judgement btw) then children need to be weened off the breast during the daytime... I won't take a child if they are still on the breast from past experience... It's not fair on LO, not fair on mindee's and not fair on us

[jackie 7]

I know how you feel. It took me months to get my brest fed to sleep on a mat. Now got a lo who has a bottle to go to sleep fine but not here. They think we can work miracles.

[smurfette]

I have a ten month old starting in mid June. She's had a few settling in sessions with me and cried the whole time. She's also breastfed to sleep and for comfort (I admit, I did the same for my 3). Feeling very nervous about having a crying baby all day long for five days a week! Keep me posted on how you and baby get on and hope bubs settles quickly!


Not judging breastfeeding at all,
I wasn't able for medical reasons to breastfeeding my eldest for more than three months and I was sad to give it up., I didn't manage as long with the other two as I had older ones. Just think parents have to be realistic if they need to go to work away from baby that's all., poor little mite it's not his fault is it ;(

[smurfette]

:( not ;( !!

[bunyip]

Whenever a parent tells me "lo didn't settle at previous CM's" my head fills with the sound of the big Klingon-attack-alert-klaxon from early TV episodes of Star Trek. :p

I only calm down if they name the previous CM as one of the local kiddifarm CM-Mafia group sisters to whom I wouldn't sent a stray dog.

[smurfette]

IMO If parents are expecting to use childcare for their children at such an early age (no judgement btw) then children need to be weened off the breast during the daytime... I won't take a child if they are still on the breast from past experience... It's not fair on LO, not fair on mindee's and not fair on us

How does this work, do they try to get them off in time or work something else out?

[smurfette]

I know how you feel. It took me months to get my brest fed to sleep on a mat. Now got a lo who has a bottle to go to sleep fine but not here. They think we can work miracles.

That's the crux of it isn't it Jackie, they think we can manage what we can't! I don't suppose mum though will be too happy to think he is crying so much!


Think I will have to give in and get him up,, maybe he will have his lunch time nap quicker if he is tired (or he will be overtired and it will be worse . Sigh)

[smurfette]

[QUOTE="bunyip;1359082"]Whenever a parent tells me "lo didn't settle at previous CM's" my head fills with the sound of the big Klingon-attack-alert-klaxon from early TV episodes of Star Trek. :p I only calm down if they name the previous CM as one of the local kiddifarm CM-Mafia group sisters to whom I wouldn't sent a stray dog.[/QUOTE

Doesn't sound like he didn't settle .. They said the minder had a bereavement and took a month off and then decided she wasn't up to it (this is the dad who wanted id though. So maybe she was running scared!) also minder said she wanted Baby to be on a soother when he started which IMO is stupid ,
At ten months he is unlikely to take one if he never has before! Don't know the minder as she is nearer home and I am near work

[Blueeyedminder]

I asked mum is she would mind only giving breast at night time, then during the day she won't be expecting any and won't be clawing at my chest every minute! Haha!

[tulip0803]

I have had several breast fed babies and found the only way I could settle them to sleep was in the pushchair with me rocking. Over the weeks gradually decreasing rocking until they start to go off without it. In my hallway or just in the other room so I can still see and talk to other children. I even had 2 B/f babies 1 yr & 10m and got them to sleep at the same time much to my shock!

I did breastfeed all 3 of mine and it is lovely to see them dropping off whilst you feed but by number 3 I learnt to put her to sleep awake so even if she had dropped off feeding I would wake her before putting her to sleep - best sleeper of the 3:) - the others I tried to put down without waking them and they were not able to self soothe back to sleep if they woke

[smurfette]

I have had several breast fed babies and found the only way I could settle them to sleep was in the pushchair with me rocking. Over the weeks gradually decreasing rocking until they start to go off without it. I did breastfeed all 3 of mine and it is lovely to see them dropping off whilst you feed but by number 3 I learnt to put her to sleep awake so even if she had dropped off feeding I would wake her before putting her to sleep - best sleeper of the 3:) - the others I tried to put down without waking them and they were not able to self soothe back to sleep if they woke


Tried the buggy and it didn't seem to make any difference.. This is how i settled two other like this.. Thought if he had a cot at home maybe that would work but over an hour of shh sshhhing and controlled crying to no avail. Won't put him in cot at lunchtime as others will be in there so will do the buggy again. He is happy chomping toast now, wasn't distressed when I got him up stopped crying straight away so methinks he is stubborn!

[QualityCare]

I have looked after several breast fed babies and have suggested to parents at first contact that it is in the best interests of their child that before the child starts with me they work out a day time routine that doesn't involve breast feeding and sleeping on the breast, expressed breast milk or formula in either a bottle or cup and they can continue to breast feed at home in evenings and mornings. If mum says baby won't take it from her then l suggest dad, granny, neighbour or longer settling in sessions with me over a feed time.

[smurfette]

Lol he has gone off! Falling asleep in the booster chair while eating toast, had tv on to distract him,
So popped him into buggy in front of tv
And he went off within ten minutes with very little crying! Not my usual method but he is gone asleep so we can work on that!

[Simona]

Do parents not prepare their child for chilcare?!!! Drives me mad! Currently have a new little fella 10m old crying his eyes out as he is tired and used to being breastfed to sleep! Poor little chap doesn't know me from Adam, and wouldn't let me rock him. So he is in cot now. They were let down by previous childminders where he had only done one hour settling in, and last week when he should have been settling in with me he had a bad dose of croup so didn't come ... It's not fair on the poor little chap

I agree it is not fair on the child or you.
I feel very strongly on this subject and often find that parents want to settle a child in a few hours and then go...no no is what I say.
Transitions is a process to be understood not just by practitioners but also by parents to understand the need to take time over this and not hurry a child into a new setting and in the arms of another carer....attachments...trust and all that comes to mind

I am worried when young children are given just a few hours to get 'used to it'....they need time
For the last 20 years I have always done settling in over a month and know many cms who do the same...it is free and staggered with increasing frequency and covering all hours a child would attend
That has been a success except on the occasions I listened to parents and did it quicker...it didn't work and caused stress to all involved.

It is worth making it clear in the contract that settling in has to be at the 'child's pace'
Many may worry a month is too long but once you start the process the contract is signed, deposit taken so there is no loss to cms...worth a try I think

Good luck with this child...hope all goes well for you

[smurfette]

I agree it is not fair on the child or you. I feel very strongly on this subject and often find that parents want to settle a child in a few hours and then go...no no is what I say. Transitions is a process to be understood not just by practitioners but also by parents to understand the need to take time over this and not hurry a child into a new setting and in the arms of another carer....attachments...trust and all that comes to mind I am worried when young children are given just a few hours to get 'used to it'....they need time For the last 20 years I have always done settling in over a month and know many cms who do the same...it is free and staggered with increasing frequency and covering all hours a child would attend That has been a success except on the occasions I listened to parents and did it quicker...it didn't work and caused stress to all involved. It is worth making it clear in the contract that settling in has to be at the 'child's pace' Many may worry a month is too long but once you start the process the contract is signed, deposit taken so there is no loss to cms...worth a try I think Good luck with this child...hope all goes well for you


Yes I tend to agree with you Simona,
Ordinarily I would do longer settling in, but because I am quite busy (lot of demand here) unless the child who is leaving has actually left it can be hard to have time.. I do however offer up to five free hours (an hour, two hours and two hours) and sometimes a half day on top of that if necessary, then if parent (rather than child!) needs more they pay for that (I am after all working hard!) this little one however has
Been thrown in deep end through circumstance., mum to her credit though has arranged to start work with two half days rather than full ones so he will do half day today, half day tomorrow
And full day Wednesday.. Dh is about tomorrow
And wed as the one who is leaving is still here so an extra pair of hands!

[wee_elf]

poor little mite, I really do wonder what parents are thinking not preparing them for the massive change :rolleyes:

[loocyloo]

I try and spread out settling sessions, but also I'm lucky, as I come across all my LOs over the course of the week at different groups, or at school, so by the time they come to me, they already 'know' me, just not always at my house! I'm currently minding the 4 child I have known since a baby, and have another 2 booked in for September! ( that is going to be very odd ... in September, every EY child I have except one, I will have known since they were born/8 weeks old and the one I didn't know, I've had since LO was 6mths! )

good luck everyone settling your LOs.

[Ripeberry]

I've got a 3 month old a few hours a week (4) and at the moment she is being messed around by everyone with feeding. The mum wanted to breastfeed but was panicking about having to go back to work and not being able to express. The HV kept going on about the child being on formula as she was 'failing to thrive' and now, the HV has told the mum to give up ALL breastfeeding as she is 'starving' her child!
And all of this panic and stress started because of work nagging the mum to return (husband has a rubbish job and can't earn enough).
I feel so sorry for the baby and the parents :(

[jadavi]

Bunyip your comments are so funny

Crack me up each time
I come on here to get my dose of you!

[smurfette]

Well today we had a totally different little boy! He cried for about ten mins when dad left but it wasn't constant like last week there were breaks in between. Then he has played happily all morning only moaning when he was tired hungry or had a dirty nappy, and now is asleep after only 20 mins crying (over an hour last week!)

I am really surprised as I haven't seen him for nearly a week and it's just his fourth day here .. Hope this is it!

[kaz26]

I had a 10 month old that cried non stop for Avery long 6 weeks also breast fed all the time such a massive change for a little one to go through x

[smurfette]

Thank goodness he was much better yesterday., mum doesn't really want to hear he has been crying but he won't let me rock him, so it's just been jnto the buggy.. I cosied him up in the footmuff (I use the jj cole urban which is fleecy) and left him to it., even rocking the buggy didn't make any difference! He only cried 20 mins in the morning and 10 in the afternoon, I am getting better at knowing when he is tired so trying to wait to put him down until he is really tired to help him.

It's hard! Poor little fella can't understand but I have settled them before like this and the older ones I have sleep longer for me than at home and go down without a peep quite happily, just takes them a while to get used to it being different than home

[smurfette]

[QUOTE="kaz26;1360803"]I had a 10 month old that cried non stop for Avery long 6 weeks also breast fed all the time such a massive change for a little one to go through x[/QUOTE
Wow you must have great patience!! Poor little one