PDA

View Full Version : Grandmothers tagging along on visits



helendee
22-04-2014, 12:51 PM
Just wondering if anyone else had experienced the extended family coming along on visits. I recently saw a mum and her little girl and the maternal granny came along as well and was reading my Ofsted report and references. Just wondering if I should have let her do that?

dolly1985
22-04-2014, 12:53 PM
I dont see a problem with it, my mum came with me when I was look for nurseries for my son before I was a childminder

caz3007
22-04-2014, 12:54 PM
I had a grandmother come with my first ever family and several others after and didn't have a problem. I just felt they were coming for moral support and to assist with decision making

Koala
22-04-2014, 12:58 PM
I too have had quite a few grandma's visit with mum - it does tend to be the maternal grandma and I find it helps mums with moral support because remember they are coming to 'the unknown too'. I don't have a problem with it, in fact I think grandma's often keep mums grounded and offer their experience with what children need and it doesn't always come on bits of paper. :thumbsup:

Mouse
22-04-2014, 01:23 PM
I've had grandparents come along for visits and have no problem with it at all. I can't see any issues with you letting them see your Ofsted report & references.

Kerry30
22-04-2014, 01:39 PM
Ive had grandmothers come along with mums and babies too and its been fine. I had one tho that completely took over, every time I tried to speak to the mum about her baby she butt in and answered for her and even had the cheek to make a comment about the lo (who was 4/5mths at the time) that I was minding still being asleep at 3pm in the afternoon (Lo woke up whislt they were visiting.). Then the grandmother started nit picking about fees, holiday etc. I was so relieved when they left!

helendee
22-04-2014, 01:48 PM
Ive had grandmothers come along with mums and babies too and its been fine. I had one tho that completely took over, every time I tried to speak to the mum about her baby she butt in and answered for her and even had the cheek to make a comment about the lo (who was 4/5mths at the time) that I was minding still being asleep at 3pm in the afternoon (Lo woke up whislt they were visiting.). Then the grandmother started nit picking about fees, holiday etc. I was so relieved when they left!

My experiences have been similar to yours Kerry with the grans being over bearing and not letting the mum or dad get a word in sideways lol. I even had one dad apologise for his MIL haha. I'm still not happy about a third party wanting to read references etc as any further contract would not involve her.

clareelizabeth1
22-04-2014, 01:58 PM
Never had a dad's mum come but most of my mums have brought their mums I always felt is was good because I always said great granny can look after child while we do the talking. I have also found granny's are more grounded than mums but I'm sure it could also go tits up and granny butt in all the time but so far so good.

As for granny looking at your OFSTED and ref's is that not what they are there for. Now granny was able to read them she will be able to tell mum and mum didn't have to take up time she could of been talking to you reading them. Personally I am so proud of my refs that I would be sad if no one read them.

Maza
22-04-2014, 02:05 PM
I also wouldn't have a problem if they were respectful.

I must say though, I am now smiling as I remember the Grannygate thread. :laughing:

Little Pickles
22-04-2014, 02:24 PM
I must say though, I am now smiling as I remember the Grannygate thread. :laughing:[/QUOTE]

I was just thinking the same !

MAWI
22-04-2014, 02:29 PM
My experiences have been similar to yours Kerry with the grans being over bearing and not letting the mum or dad get a word in sideways lol. I even had one dad apologise for his MIL haha. I'm still not happy about a third party wanting to read references etc as any further contract would not involve her.

Can't see the problem myself.

helendee
22-04-2014, 02:54 PM
Can't see the problem myself.

Maybe it's just me then, I am a very private person. As a granny myself I would be happy to accompany my daughter or one of my daughter in laws if they asked me to go along with them to visit potential childcare providers but personally I would just sit quietly and not take over.

caz3007
22-04-2014, 02:59 PM
Ive had grandmothers come along with mums and babies too and its been fine. I had one tho that completely took over, every time I tried to speak to the mum about her baby she butt in and answered for her and even had the cheek to make a comment about the lo (who was 4/5mths at the time) that I was minding still being asleep at 3pm in the afternoon (Lo woke up whislt they were visiting.). Then the grandmother started nit picking about fees, holiday etc. I was so relieved when they left!

I had a mother and daughter come. Now I knew as it was a recommendation that the mother was also mother to the 10month lo. But during the initial visit started to doubt who the lo's mother actually was. They are still with me 3 years on and lo's sister is more like her mum. Lol

ziggy
22-04-2014, 03:23 PM
many years ago I went with my daughter in law to visit childminders for my grandaughter. I asked questions but let daughter in law do most of the talking.

Had to smile when i read this thread, as one minder had 3 children sat in front of tv, no toys out, room full of breakable china and a child quietly sobbing in a buggy in the dining room. Minder explained he only came on a weds and had never settled!!!!!!!!!!!! When we left my daughter in law said 'oh she seemed quite nice' lol lol

I wouldnt have a problem with grandparents seeing references etc but if they got too overwhelming I would leave them in playroom with child and take parents into kitchen

greanan
22-04-2014, 05:35 PM
I've had an aunty visit with child and mum before and that was fine

JKL
22-04-2014, 06:32 PM
I personally would take my mum with me as she's lecturer and has dealt with Ofsted etc in one way or another for the last 35 years and knows how to read inspection reports etc. But that's just me. I also think that as we're providing mum/dad with so much info that with 'extra' people there tends to be more of the info retained, hols etc! xx

loocyloo
22-04-2014, 06:47 PM
I've had grannies, aunts, cousins and friends all come with parents!
I don't mind... it means some one can take care of child whilst you're talking and like other posters have said, more information can be retained by the family! I also don't mind who reads my references/reports. ( The more the merrier as that's more people to recommend me;-))
Plus I seem to collect families where there is often a grandparent or other family member involved in the dropping off/collection of the minded child!

What I do find odd is parents who come to visit without the child. Those parents I always tell that I can't offer a space until I've met the child! ( unless there is a very good reason! )

Jenna
22-04-2014, 06:48 PM
I've had a few grandmothers come along to visit when my own ds went to nursery I took my mum with me to have a look round. All has been fine

wee_elf
22-04-2014, 07:08 PM
I think it is great that there is someone there to offer a bot of support and remember to ask questions, and keep a eye on little one. It must be very overwhelming for parents, especially when it is the first child x

Mouse
22-04-2014, 07:25 PM
If I had grandchildren I bet I'd be the grandmother from hell!

I'd visit any prospective childminder with my son/daughter & grandchild and grill them on every aspect of their practice. I'd go over their references with a fine toothed comb. I'd pick their policies to pieces and I'd question everything they say.

I'd probably be asked to leave :blush::ROFL1::ROFL1:

Maza
22-04-2014, 08:31 PM
If I had grandchildren I bet I'd be the grandmother from hell!

I'd visit any prospective childminder with my son/daughter & grandchild and grill them on every aspect of their practice. I'd go over their references with a fine toothed comb. I'd pick their policies to pieces and I'd question everything they say.

I'd probably be asked to leave :blush::ROFL1::ROFL1:

I was just thinking I would be like that!

loocyloo
22-04-2014, 08:45 PM
I was just thinking I would be like that!

me too! :laughing: :laughing:

Daisy1956
22-04-2014, 09:45 PM
I have had grandparents and aunties visit when looking for childcare it has never bothered me it helps to get to know the family better

jackie 7
23-04-2014, 07:58 AM
I had a grandmother do the start of settling in. Left the lo for the first few times. Was grata. But another grandmother decided a lo should go to nursery as he wasn't social enough. Worst mistake they made. I have no problem with them coming for visit but not if they talk all the time.