Looking for a virtual hug

[smurfette]

Aw lads just looking for a virtual hug please?!! Basically I care for six families across the week

Family one ad hoc only , one or two mornings per week, term time only don't know if will need me in sept

Family two ad hoc one or two mornings a week, not sure how long this will last

Family three have cut down from two days a week to one now mum is on maternity, will Leave Lo with me and hopes I will have space for Lo and sibling but I have it in my head I won't be able to accommodate cos it's shift 5/6 days a month

Family four, dad has been on temp renewed contract which I have accommodated and never took up the three days a week they were going To, do two days a week.. Mum is pregnant and Lo will finish end July

Family five baby number three on way, I have number two and had number one before she went to school. They are planning on moving possibly out of area so expect to lose them, however if they stay in area I will keep Lo during maternity on three days a week and get baby

Family six only stable one as far as I can see, little chap four days a week


I have been advertising as I lost a little one at Christmas one day a week, I am basically down 80 euros a week cos of this and family three dropping a day and we are struggling, I am afraid of being left with nothing since most of Them are On the move! I have seen a lot of families but can't get anything to fit., starting in July , four days a week as want to drop my Fridays due to family commitments, and working 8-530 ish. I have been worried about it and so has dh as we have had to have new clutch on car and new washing machine. Trip to rome was booked before all this and we didn't have that much to spend while there as a result. Anyway the day I left I Saw a family who signed up there and then for Monday Tuesday and Wednesday so I rang mum of family four and gave her notice .. She was in work so maybe not best handled but I wanted to give her an extra weeks notice (so she has had five weeks) and I flew out that afternoon

I then emailed confirmation to her and have had a snotty one back saying they are disappointed they are without child care with so many changes going on for Lo ., which I can understand but she did also say she understood I may have to fill the space before they wanted care to end but she hoped not .. I hoped not too but can't afford to be without business .. I also don't think they are stuck as both sets of grandparents do the other three days a week between them so I think they will manage for a few weeks. Feel
Awful hate letting people down but don't think I had a choice, dreading Tuesday now :(

[HTSMumma]

Here, have some virtual ones from Cardiff!

(((HUGS)))

xxxx

[shortstuff]

Aw murphf sending hugs x you have made the decision to safeguard your family. Im sure by then mum will be fine x

[FussyElmo]

Hugs xxx:group hug: :group hug:

[Shamai]

Here's some more :group hug::group hug:

[The Juggler]

hugs honey xx

[smurfette]

thanks so much guys, here is her email

Thank you for your email. It has taken us a few days to respond as we have been working hard to secure some arrangements for our daughter now that we are without childcare for 11 weeks. Naturally we are very disappointed in how things have turned out and the situation we find ourselves in, particularly as we feel S will already be facing many changes in the upcoming months.
In relation to the final two weeks of the notice you have given us, we do not feel a Thursday/Friday arrangement will work as neither of us can guarantee we would be available to collect S by 5pm on Friday given both our work schedules. Therefore we would appreciate if arrangements can be put in place to continue on a Tuesday/Wednesday schedule until 07/05/2014.
As regards continuing on for 1 day per week, now that we will have to source some new childcare for the 11 weeks in question regardless, we have agreed that such an arrangement would be too disjointed and not in the best interest of our daughter, whose welfare remains our number one priority.

We are happy to further discuss any of these matters if required next week.

(its so formal saying 'our daughter' instead of los name! I am happy they aren't using the one day a week, it was only there if it suited them. Maybe it's not very snotty now that I look at it, just overly formal with the relationship we have had, I just can't help taking it personally

Here is what i have drafted in reply, could you please critique for me?? too much info? DH says i shouldnt have to explain but I thought it would help if i did a bit, and maybe she didnt really hear what i said to her on phone and all she heard was 'notice'

HI, thank you for your email, that is fine we will proceed with Tuesday and Wednesdays to end the 7th May if that is best for you, I am sorry too things have turned out like this, in an ideal world S would be staying and so would all the others, they are such a great group of kids and I have really enjoyed looking after S, she really is a credit to you both. We all have to do what is best for our own families as you have planned to do, and so do the other families who are moving on, unfortunately we really rely on my income and I really have tried very hard to fill the space for the end of July, I have seen a number of families recently and could not get anything to fit. I hope though that we can continue to work together amicably til the 7th of May, and end on a good a note as possible under the circumstances. I will see you Tuesday,

[shortstuff]

I think your reply is good but a little too feely? Maybe try keeping it as business like as they have. Purely as it is about contractual issues.

If it was about an outing or similar then put about wishing it were different etc?

[smurfette]

I think your reply is good but a little too feely? Maybe try keeping it as business like as they have. Purely as it is about contractual issues. If it was about an outing or similar then put about wishing it were different etc?

So you would take out most of it? Thanks for advice

[funemnx]

HUGS!!

I think it's a really good letter and should go as it is - sometimes it does help parents understand where we are coming from if we explain a little further although normally I would totally agree keep it business. In this instance I would go with what you've said x

[shortstuff]

So you would take out most of it? Thanks for advice

I would put something like:

I just wanted to thank you for realising that I need to fill my space earlier than intended. This has been done with ongoing sustainability in mind.

I also want to thank you for confirming your plans to continue on Tuesdays and Wednesdays until 7th May. I have really enjoyed looking after S she is a real credit to you both.

I look forward to my next three weeks with S.

Kind regards

Murphf

[MessybutHappy]

HI, thank you for your email, that is fine we will proceed with Tuesday and Wednesdays to end the 7th May if that is best for you, I am sorry too things have turned out like this, in an ideal world S would be staying and so would all the others, they are such a great group of kids and I have really enjoyed looking after S, she really is a credit to you both. We all have to do what is best for our own families as you have planned to do, and so do the other families who are moving on, unfortunately we really rely on my income and I really have tried very hard to fill the space for the end of July, I have seen a number of families recently and could not get anything to fit. I hope though that we can continue to work together amicably til the 7th of May, and end on a good a note as possible under the circumstances. I will see you Tuesday,

HI Murphf, firstly, poor you, what a horrid decision to have to make, and whilst I understand the parents point of view, to take their frustration out on you is not helpful :( I like your letter, but if I'm honest, I'd take out from We all - to fit, and pop in a simpler statement like "despite my best efforts I have been unable to secure work that will commence at the end of July." You don't need to justify your decision, you can hint that you've tried to accommodate them, but I don't think you need to spell it out, it may lead to a tit for tat situation that won't help. Ending a contract is yukky enough without parents playing the you've let me down card! As tempting as it is to play it back by pointing out that you didn't take the decision lightly, I'm pretty sure there's little to be gained?
Hope it goes ok on Tuesday :)

BIG HUG

[karen2010]

Reading it cold, without knowing you both, their letter seems very formal and yours less so and more emotive - I think you are letting your emotions into your correspondence a little as you feel guilty.
Personally I would make yours a little more formal as I'm sure you have been a fabulous childminder, and it don't think you deserve the " without care for 11 weeks" comment.
That would rile me !!
It sounds a very hard position to be in, and you have made the best decision for your family xxxx
Sending you big hugs and blowing you a kiss too !!!!!
Xxxxxxxxxxx

[smurfette]

Thanks guys you have made me feel better! I sent the letter as was in the end before I saw the last few replies as I felt I should send something this evening and added a more formal bit concerning the final fees.. I hope as you say messy I haven't exacerbated it by trying to explain it!

I genuinely didn't think they would be stuck for Childcare due to the grandparents and I do feel they are biting their nose off to spite their face .. It is 11 weeks care of two days a week, and if they let me have her the Thursdays all they have to manage between both of them and their holidays, and two sets of grandparents is 11days! Rthara

[MessybutHappy]

Well done you for sending it, I hope it doesn't escalate, but I'd it does, just pull back into your 100% professional shell and they can shout and grunt all they want, it'll just bounce off you! Keep us posted :)

[smurfette]

Well done you for sending it, I hope it doesn't escalate, but I'd it does, just pull back into your 100% professional shell and they can shout and grunt all they want, it'll just bounce off you! Keep us posted :)


Thanks. I did say I hoped we could work together amicably, so I hope they realise that I have good intentions!

On a happier note new Lo came today for first settling in session and was happy as Larry, mum says she was happier leaving him with me than last minder and it was all calm when she came which I think helps, they did wonder how I coped with so many! I feel better now about facing other parents, feel it is right decision and he is gonna fit fine!

[KatieFS]

Big hugs murfp. Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions. Thing is, if parents needed to change something they would give you 4 weeks notice and that is that - such is childminding.
I've just had a leaver now working notice as mums job not worked out. Only been with me 2 months. Turned away other business to take him- that's how it goes sometimes. Its a learn.
2 way street isn't it. You have to look after you and yours first
Xxx

[jackie 7]

If we have to give notice or ask parents to change a day we are nasty but if they give notice they feel great, at least a dad here had such a smirk on his face I wanted to be violent! Well done you did what you had to do and as you say she could have organised herself better. Hope tomorrow is ok.

[smurfette]

Wish me luck due any minute thanks for all the comments, good to be reminded too that if it suited them they would be off (as indeed they are) and wouldn't be too bothered!

[karen2010]

Good luck hon ! Big smile plastered on your face !!!! Xxxx

[smurfette]

He was ok. Didn't know where to look. We both mostly spoke to the Lo! I tried to be my usual cheery self! Fingers crossed for mum when she picks up later!

[smurfette]

Mum was ok too very all business! No chit chat.. Will it be like that the whole four weeks?!

[smurfette]

Roll on three weeks.. My money (final payment as I have two weeks deposit) didn't appear on Friday and sent mum a text asking her politely could she please just check and get back to me, dad sent me a curt text back saying they had paid it and he was sure it would be in my account when the bank re opened (Tuesday!) which is not good enough and he knows it. Pain to be without it over the weekend, I suspect he was meant to have paid it and didn't bother his backside which is what normally happens if it isn't paid.. Most of the time it is on time cos mum pays it. Hope it does materialise on Tuesday or there will be issues, I didn't reply to his text as thought it best to not make it worse so close to end of contract but normally would have told him it wasn't good enough! If it was you wouldn't you have made sure it was paid as it was last payment and so as not to make things uncomfortable for everyone ?!!!

[shortstuff]

One of my parents paid me 2 weeks late on their final months payment. Mum was meant to do it. I mentioned it to dad when he dropped lo and he was so upset he even paid late fees.

[smurfette]

One of my parents paid me 2 weeks late on their final months payment. Mum was meant to do it. I mentioned it to dad when he dropped lo and he was so upset he even paid late fees.

Yeah,
Not what's going on here though. Other times
The money has hit the bank over weekend so I suspect they use the same bank and didn't pay it Til this morning. Very cross now child
Arrived in the horrors (which he expects me to
Deal with and sort out!) and potty in his hand.,
To be fair I did agree to help with potty training but I think it's a bit rich they don't expect to pay me but expect to load extra work on me.,
Sorry I am in bad form now this am

[shortstuff]

Yeah,
Not what's going on here though. Other times
The money has hit the bank over weekend so I suspect they use the same bank and didn't pay it Til this morning. Very cross now child
Arrived in the horrors (which he expects me to
Deal with and sort out!) and potty in his hand.,
To be fair I did agree to help with potty training but I think it's a bit rich they don't expect to pay me but expect to load extra work on me.,
Sorry I am in bad form now this am

Im not surprised you arent feeling like yourself. Keep your chin up and start a countdown until you are shot of this parent x