advice on terminating contract

[toddlers896]

oh dear, what a week. A one year old child had an accident in my home on Friday resulting in loosing his nail and having to go to a and e. I feel absolutely terrible and to be honest feel physically sick when I think about it. It was my fault as I started to clean up half hr before home time and took the door stops off the doors. The three year old went into the toy room and slammed the door shut so the others couldn't get in and his fingers were in the door. The one year old is a twin and I have these two and a three year old every Friday. The twins are very prone to accidents and to be honest I am so nervous every Friday that something is going to happen to them as the mother and gran don't take it very lightly. All my other parents are very good and understand that accidents happen but these two are a nightmare. Anyway yesterday when this accident happened I lost it and just thought I cant do this job anymore. its too much pressure and responsibility and I cant deal with it all. I text the twins mum today to see how the boy was and she didn't get back to me until tonight, by this time I had decided that I would give the twins up as having a tantrum three year old and one year old twins is just to stressful and I would be better with two children so text the parent to tell her I would be giving notice. as you can imagine she is not a happy bunny and is angry I told her by text. I plan to follow it up by letter but I just wanted to know if she can now have me done for breach of contract.
I am so fed up with this job, all the stress of delivering the EYFS to a high standard and dealing with sickness, tantrums, and everything else that goes with it is just not worth what Ime earning. Time to look for a new job. I have to now admit to myself that this job is just not for me. Very sad as I have put a lot into it but I am having more bad days than good.
Sorry to waffle on but its nice to get it off my chest. x

[green4lynn]

I had a mindee who knocked a tooth out when he was at a soft play area with me! It was the worst moment ever and I felt physically sick. Luckily his mum was great, she knew her son well and understood that it was an accident. It took hours before I could contact her as she was working and unable to take calls (luckily grandma was around) but it really made me rethink my career!

Don't give up, mum is probably still upset that her baby is hurt. I'm sure she'll realise that accidents happen
Good luck x

[tess1981]

One if my mindees split her lip when she tripped and hit the TV unit I was near sick but mum was great. Maybe ring mum and explain how bad you feel and that the text was a response to you feeling bad. It might not be too late to reassure mum

[toddlers896]

One if my mindees split her lip when she tripped and hit the TV unit I was near sick but mum was great. Maybe ring mum and explain how bad you feel and that the text was a response to you feeling bad. It might not be too late to reassure mum

ive tried ringing her twice but she is not answering her phone. she is annoyed with me for sending a text and not phoning

[tess1981]

I can see her point and your reasons for the text as well. Let the dust settle over the weekend all you can do maybe is apologise for you reaction when the mother had time to calm down too. I hope you can resolve this soon x

[Mouse]

Oh, you poor thing.

I can understand mum's reaction, but I can also understand your panic and loss of confidence.

I would leave mum alone for now & let her calm down. On Monday try to arrange for her to come in for a chat and tell her how you feel. Tell her that after the accident you are questioning your own ability as a childminder, hence the snap decision to give notice Apologise if it upset her the way you did it, but explain how you acted hastily and perhaps should have tried speaking to her in person first.

If you are determined to give notice, try to soften the blow by giving her suggestions of other childminders she might contact, or showing her where she can look for childminders.

Childminding certainly isn't for everyone and one of the hardest things is admitting to yourself that it isn't for you. But do take time to calm down & relax and decide whether you really do want to give up completely, or whether you want to carry on, but maybe with fewer children :thumbsup:

[tigwig]

Aww hun try not to worry so much. It was just an accident, it doesn't mean you're a rubbish cm.
Let the dust settle and maybe put all your thoughts into a letter or email to the mum once you have given yourself chance to calm down and reflect.
Dont make any firm hasty decisions. If you dont really mean or want what you've already said im sure it can be reversed. Or if you really do want to stop minding you can explain why.
Good luck and take care :) x

[The Juggler]

sorry to hear this has happened hon. I know I felt awful if any of mine ever got hurt and we always feel we could have done more to prevent it but usually you can't. I've had children fall whilst I'm standing right next to them and get the most awful bumps! and a biter bite others whilst I'm sitting in a circle with them - could'nt have predicted it or prevented it. But as for breach of contract - how? I never had door stops in my house in 9 year of minding - it's not in your contract to have these additional safety features.

Also she can't sue you for breach of contract for giving notice as long as you give her 4 weeks notice as per your contracts (or whatever the notice period is). She can only sue you for breach of contract if you have not done something in the statutory requirements or as per your contract or terminated without giving notice.

Be prepared she COULD make a complaint saying you weren't doing enough to keep the baby safe. I don't want to alarm you but if that's the kind of person she is then she might. I would pre-empt it with a call to ofsted yourself. Reflect what happened in your risk assessment (i.e. you have a door slammer and will have the door stops on at all times to prevent it happening in the future), that is all ofsted will expect you to do.

Honestly this job can be so different when difficult parents like this leave. I had a particularly bad year with a child, then when I tried to sort it out mum became aggressive - I felt ill. When I finally gave notice my job was like a new job. However, if you've generally had enough this is what I'd do.

- update risk assessment

- phone ofsted say they may get a call - tell them what you've done in terms of RA for the future

- give notice to mum in writing by letter saying you've decided to not to continue minding due to personal reasons but you will of course offer her the full 4 weeks contractual notice to find someone else (a text won't cut it as official notice I'm afraid so it will be effective from when she gets the letter). Tell her the final date and details etc. etc. how much final bill will be giving last working day.

- call her today (leave a message if she doesn't answer) saying you are sorry for the way you gave notice. Say that you understand how upset she was about her baby but that you were shocked and upset at her reaction in the circumstances but that you should have called her to discuss it. Tell her notice will be effective from when you drop the letter to her today. All the details are in the letter but if she wants to discuss any of it to call you.


Good luck hon, hope things work out.

[tess1981]

Just wondering how things have turned out xx

[Koala]

Have you thought that it maybe the additional pressure of this family that is making you feel like throwing the towel in. I have felt like this in the past but when I analysed it - it wasn't the job - I really love it - but sometimes it is the client and some can be rather 'passive aggressive' and from what you have said - you may feel better giving this family notice and you will feel a lot better about your work.

I had one child - verry, very rude parents (but always using a passive aggressive approach), picky, ridiculous requests and constantly contradicting themselves and each other (use plenty of bottom cream, don't use plenty of bottom cream, make sure he chews his food! can you watch his shoes I don't think they fit! don't feed him fibre today!), they just wore me down to the point i felt like :censored: I gave them a long notice period - they didn't stop being ridiculous until one day they just pushed me too far and I said I couldn't work with them anymore and they have the option to take their child and leave NOW! They did and I havn't looked back :clapping: :clapping:

You shouldn't be feeling like you are pressured in your own home and I think it is very rude of parents not to get back to you and let you know how things are, they must know you are worried but obviously you are at the bottom of mums priorities, understandably. Accidents do happen and don't blame yourself. It was an accident. :thumbsup:

p.s. I havn't read all the posts - so sorry if this has already been said.

[tess1981]

Being nosy koala but what was your tipping point

[Koala]

Being nosy koala but what was your tipping point

Rudeness from the parents was the VERY last straw.

But the constant nit picking, sort of questioning what I was doing and sort of complaining but not directly and not really having a complaint, outrageous statements and requests, they made me feel unnerved constantly. You can only take so much. There was never a direct complaint it was always flippant comments and contradicting requests that drove me crazy.

Probably in hindsight, I can see they were more than happy with the care and they said this - it was just their way of dealing with the guilt of having someone else look after their child (I think a lot of instances where problems arise is when parents feel the 'quilt' and channel it at their care providers). But it really wasn't fair on me.

[tess1981]

I did have a parent like this on some occasions so know what you mean she landed to me one morning and said X is now if the dummy. No weaning the child of it just took it from him that night he went to bed. He was 2 but used it at sleep times or when was very tired and grumpy . If she took the notion for something that was it. She said he cried that night for ages without it and when I went to put him down for hid nap that day he asked for it I just said mummy said you were not allowed a dummy anymore. He huffed a minute but accepted his wee fate. I thought it was so unfair to him. He would have needed preparing for it imo. But in the end I gave this child notice as he was very hard work any way and mum could be hard work if she decided. She asked me once to change my holidays over easter. She knew for 2 years I take easter Monday and Tuesday but wanted me to take good Friday instead of the Tuesday. I said no these are my holiday days and I plan stuff for my own children these are the days that suit me. But like you say it was a collection of things and I dreaded getting up in the morning as I knew I had the child. He was 5 days a week 10 hours a day....

[toddlers896]

Just wanted to give you all an update as you were kind enough to help me out.
I had a text from mum on Saturday, she was fuming that I sent a text to say I was ending the contract. I apologised and tried to ring her all day but she wouldn't answer so I sent an email apologising on Sunday morning. I told her I had lost my confidence and was very emotional hence the reason I sent her the text and after thinking about it for a couple of days I was happy to forget if she was. I had an email back saying yes she was happy to forget and in the future if I have anything to say then I must phone her.
I am happy its blown over and I am happy that I am keeping the twins but I do need to start taking control of my business. I am not very good with confrontation and feel like everybody is walking all over me. I know accidents happen all the time but if you have supportive parents that understand it makes it easier to explain but parents that are drama queens it can really make you loose all confidence and after Fridays incident it just made me crack and I thought I cant do this job anymore. The accident was terrible but it could have been worse and like others have said sometimes we just cant prevent these things from happening and shouldn't blame ourselves.
Thanks again guys xx

[tess1981]

Ah so glad it all worked out. Put this behind you and realise it was a learning curve. X