Advice for a child continually snatching and shoving

[alex__17]

I have a little girl who was 2 in Jan, and all day snatches anything my 20 month old son has. All I say hundreds of times is please don't snatch, wait until he's finished, we take turns share etc etc but its really getting me down. When she doesn't get whatever he has she screams as loud as she can in his face 'I WANT IT', and if she thinks I'm not looking will shove him over and he's often fallen on some toys and hurt himself. She can speak in sentences so she understands but doesn't seem to care she's being told off or that she's hurt him, even when out at singing group today she got up and stood on another child's foot by mistake then deliberately re-trod on it, I spotted it and my mum did too as she was with me.
Any advice welcome, no friends have had children that have done this so theyve not been able to help, I'm being firm and not letting her keep what she's snatched, but she doesn't really care and just tries again a minute later. Not really sure what else to do, having problems with the mum not giving me forms etc I keep asking for too and starting to wish I'd never taken them on

[tess1981]

I have a similar situation. I am sick of saying that's not nice would you like me to take something of you etc. I do time out make her say sorry get down to her level. I even once told the other child just take it straight back off her don't let her do it to you. It's so exhausting. I think I am making a tiny bit of progress but I feel like I'm ALWAYS having to give out. I. Not getting the enjoyment I should from this child.
At the moment it seems like consistency is the key and some day it will click in. But you will get sick of the sound of your own voice before this happens

[amylouise867]

Seeing as you have been explaining to her over and over and the outcome hasn't changed try -

Taking the toy back off her (not snatching though - you will puzzle her if you tell her off for snatching but you do it- positive modelling of behaviour and all that) and firmly saying no and just picking her up and removing her from the situation if need be.

Maybe try to intervene before she snatches "no Harry is playing with the blocks you choose another toy and you can play with the blocks next". If she continues to try to get the toy again say No and pick her up and take her to another toy. If the tantrum follows your behaviour policy kicks in then.

Try to limit your speech to her. Just be to the point one or two words and that's it. Ignore her tantrum for attention and to get her own way.

Encourage her to share and praise her and the other children when they're sharing and playing nicely - let it be a focus in your setting. So all children can be working towards being good, kind friends. If she sees other children getting praised for sharing nicely that may help rub off.

Maybe try to plan your toys so it's not single toys in particular out and toys where there can be some working together going on - Lego, duplo, farm, even water, sand, shaving foam play. Something where she hasn't got to snatch because there's plenty to have/do between themed so maybe they an work together to create an outcome - building a tower, setting up the farm etc.

Just want to send u a hug xx
It's not nice when it's happening to your child and it gets draining and mundane for you xx
Hold on in there you're doing great :) xxx

[alex__17]

Thanks for advice, had been doing just that, ignore behaviour, calmly remove whatever has been snatched and give back to other child, firm no, remove etc etc. I even had the massive box of duplo out and she was dropping her bricks to snatch the exact same ones out of my sons hands...I just feel at the end of my tether with it and so bored of saying it over and over and it's just constant, every few seconds she does it again, being told off or removed or whatever has no effect she just doesn't seem bothered at all, she doesn't get upset nor does she ever really seem that happy...
Makes me a bit sad thinking about it and by the end of the day my mood isn't my normal sunny self that I am each morning which also isn't fair on her or anyone else.
She never has a tantrum because she really doesn't seem to care about being told off it seems, she just waits a few seconds and does it again :-(
And to make it worse today all my son did this morning was snatch every toy my other mindees touched, which isn't like him, he grabs things now and then but it was like having that girl here...! A few stern no s and being removed and he's back to normal it seems, but it worries me I don't want him copying that behaviour!
I think I'm going to contact the mum and suggest extending the settling period for another 4 weeks and see if things improve, I'm also struggling with a preschool drop off and collection she only mentioned once contracts were all signed which is really hard and makes me late for my existing school pickup... I just feel so awful and guilty for even considering ending the contract, feel so sorry for the kids but I dread Tuesdays because of this, especially after today having such a lovely day with my other mindees

[toddlers896]

alex how are you getting on now x