Inappropriate footwear

[Miss freckles]

I'm really struggling with a parent of a 19 mth mindee I have regarding shoes.

The child is very pampered and it took a lot of time and patience for me to encourage things such as having a cup, getting rid of formula which he was still having at 17 mths (that was a battle) explaining why I won't give calpol to him in my care every morning as a "just in case"

The other issue at the moment is the fact he is still wearing pram shoes at 19 mths! He started to walk at 17 mths but found it very difficult and even now can't walk with the shoes on, he stands on the sides of them and shuffles and they are too small for him. Not only that but it's also affecting us going in the garden, on walks, parks etc. I still go but while the others walk, climb etc. I'm forced to keep him in the pushchair or carry him as he's not wearing the correct shoes

I have mentioned this to mum so many times I'm at a loss now. I've explained nicely how he really needs hard shoes for his walking development and he struggles with the pram shoes, I've purposefully let him walk at the park so the soft material on the shoe gets filthy then apologise for the dirty shoe and explain why her response is always "yeah I should get some" I've told her where to go to buy hard shoes I've even mentioned about getting him measured in Clarkes and then picking up some hard shoes in cheap sports stores (in case she couldn't afford Clarkes)

So today dad drops off and mindee is wearing a brand new pair of pram shoes!!! That are too small. I've added a paragraph about appropriate footwear in my newsletter like I did last month. I just don't know what else to do. Any advice/ ideas? I'm all out!

[gef918]

You're in a really difficult situation when despite your best efforts, mum will not listen to you. You need to work out why the mum isn't listening - is it a question of time, money, ignorance, neglect?

Perhaps you could offer to take lo shoe shopping for some proper shoes (above and beyond the call of duty I know).

[clareelizabeth1]

If you can I would offer to get him measured myself and then tell them what size they need even email them a link to exactly what they need.

If you think they would pay I would buy I pair and put it on the bill.

A good way can be telling them it is a safe guarding concern and if it continues you will have no choice but to tell ss as if OFSTED turned up you would lose your licence for not having reported them.

[Jiorjiina]

First of all, good for you for keeping on trying with the mum!

Is it truly the child being babied, or are they genuinely unaware that they are damaging their child's development?

If they are genuinely unaware of the harm that they are doing (Calpol everyday can lead to kidney damage or a paracetamol overdose, bad shoes will affect his physical development and posture, using a bottle will hinder his speech development, etc), then I think, given the problems that you have already had over the other issues, you're really going to have to take the bull by the horns, sit both parents down and straight up tell them that they are holding back their child's development and that it's verging on neglect. And that you will report it to SS as a concern if they can't get their act together and sort it out.

I also second the idea of getting him measured, buying a cheap pair of hard soled shoes for him and then adding them to the bill! Also, perhaps you should start keeping a log of the issues, when you've mentioned them to the parents and what was said.

[rickysmiths]

I think you need to call the parents in for a meeting. Then gently but firmly go though all the developmental issues. It is hard but especially if they are first time parents with now support or they may have older parents who are very out of date and not offering the best advise.

I think you need to get to the bottom of whether this is a lack of knowledge or funds with regard to the shoes. If it is cost i think I might be inclined to say to the parents you give me half the cost of new shoes and I will add the other half to the next four months invoices to get them started but I would also be clear that they will from now on need to get the child's feet measured every six weeks and they need to set aside a little every week ready for the next pair of shoes. Again I might be inclined to offer to add £10 a month onto their bill and hold it so they can save for the next pair if this would help them. ( I would document this if I did it and get them to sign it all).

If they are not prepared to do anything, then I would say that they then leave you no alternative but to speak to their Health Visitor and possibly Social Services for advice, as it becomes a Safeguarding issue, it is that serious.

I would give them 24 hours to have a think about what you have said and come back to you. If they don't then follow through on the actions you said you would take.

[Boris]

I have a box of wellies in all sizes. I would stick them on him. Poor thing. I bet they never let him walk anywhere with them.