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View Full Version : Screaming temper tantrums in 1 yr old mindee help at wits end



KateA
14-02-2014, 05:39 PM
Hi I am a new childminder I have one mindee at the moment a little boy who when he does not get own way or being held conctantly will just scream at me e.g if I am holding my own children, if I try to feed him . It is not a cry he does not anything eg changing he only stops screaming if I carry him all the time or let him sit on my lap the minute he is not with me screams again. each screaming session last 45 mins I am at my wits end and considering giving up child minding. please help what do you do?

Karen1
14-02-2014, 06:25 PM
Ah don't give up. Have you spoken to mum - is he like it at home, does mum carry him around all the time?

Did you do settling in sessions with him- what was he like then?

Could he bring a comforter from home?

Don't give up. Speak to mum that may hold the answer.
Hugs

cathtee
14-02-2014, 06:42 PM
Good advice from Karen, I had a lo who cried every time I put her down when she first started I used to sit on the floor with her on my lap and gradually moved her off and tried not to put her back on just because she cried she soon got used to being on the floor and soon started to join in with the others, I agree it is wearing and not what you want all day but hopefully it will get better

KateA
14-02-2014, 07:51 PM
hi thank you for replying its good to know I am not the only one, he settling sessions went really well no problems.He is not with me next week as term time only so I have come up with a plan I am going to update his learning story with last few pictures over half term and request a meeting with mum for the week he is back to show her story and discuss his temper if like it at home etc. I also need to discuss food with them as he is on five 250 ml bottles a day and having nothing to eat. He seems terffied of food, won't be spoon fed and just looks at food as if has no idea what it is if you offer him any he starts to shake.

candy cat
14-02-2014, 07:53 PM
I had one little one who screamed for 7 out 9 hours and the other 2 she was a sleep this lasted a month.....good for the diet as lost a stone she stayed 2 years and was always a sensitive little thing ..... Just lots of reassurance x

yummyripples
15-02-2014, 12:18 AM
It's really hard isn't it? How long has he been with you?
Age one he should be on solids I would have thought

lisbet
15-02-2014, 09:42 AM
Sounds hard going for you all! xx

Could you maybe go softly, softly on the food issue for now, until he is feeling more settled with you and the screaming has calmed down?

Just let him have the milk he's used to, and let him observe during meal times and see that you and your children enjoy eating and chatting. If needs be have him on your knee for now, but work towards getting him into a highchair. I had one LO in a highchair pulled right next to me with my arm around them for a while. You could put a few pieces of finger food within his reach, but not offer it or anything that might set him shaking, bless him!

You could also do some sensory tray activities involving foods: cereals, spaghetti, maybe even yoghurt! Maybe he'd start getting interested in food that way.

Hang on in there; it's such a big adjustment for a baby, but he'll get there :group hug: I hope the meeting with his Mum is useful x

KateA
15-02-2014, 09:05 PM
Hi, He has been with me for a month now (mon-thurs all day). I think food is an issue mum is concerned about too. He does seem interested in food - watches everyone eat his little mouth moves copying but does not seem to know or understand what to do once when offered to him. I have just been sticking to milk and few rice crackers he will eat as not worth putting him through it any more as much for me but my sanity as well him. Though I may mention to mum to maybe lowering the milk in bottles to see if this is will increase his interested in food but what to do bout shaking I have no idea.

is it OK to suggest this ( our we allowed to offer ideas as childminders ) don't want to look like I am telling her what to do she has in past asked for any ideas.

I am going to try the sit on my lap and gradually move on to floor plan once he is back after half term.

Thank you all for your help Kathryn


It's really hard isn't it? How long has he been with you?
Age one he should be on solids I would have thought

yummyripples
15-02-2014, 09:35 PM
Yes it's good to come up with an action plan.
I don't think that you meant to say shaking, was it screaming?
sometimes it's just something that they need to go through but you and mum have to be singing from the same hynn sheet so make sure you work together x

VeggieSausage
16-02-2014, 04:36 PM
Some children do not cope well with childcare and if you feel you are at the end of your tether then it is not a sign of weakness to give notice to a family and say that he really is not settled and it seems so unfair to put him through this.....childminding will get better I promise!

KatieFS
16-02-2014, 10:11 PM
Of course you can suggest ideas! It's your job. Some children take longer to adjust. Maybe he will but he might not.
I would be honest, speaking to mum and agreeing on strategy. I'd get him but more settled first before I looked at the food. Do u give him milk - Maybe he likes the milk as you are feeding him, he likes the close-ness?

It will get better and there are children out there who don't react so sensitively.

I went through the same with my first mindee

She is still sensitive but did get better. I did same and sat next to her. She wanted to be held as that's what mum and dad did, but agreed to try to sit with her. I didn't feel it was right to carry her, not good for her or the other children.

Good luck n hugs xxxx

jackie 7
16-02-2014, 11:43 PM
I have a boy who started last August. He screamed and didn't settle until a month ago. It ended when he had a 1& 1/2 hour tantrum. I tried everything. I was on here most days. I have a friend who would come and talk to me. I just tried to work on 1 thing at a time. Food was a problem as he didn't want to be fed. I let him eat anything he wanted and would eat. Sleep was dreadful and now he throws himself on his mat and sometimes moan until he goes to sleep. I no longer have to pat his back to get him to sleep. Look for small changes but be firm. Let him know you are fair but firm. Yes he should be eating more but take it a step at s time. Talk to. Ask her what he eats at home.

KateA
28-02-2014, 11:57 AM
Hi quick up date, meeting with mum did not go well, she is still worried about his eating and is going to take him to the doctor, does not seem to understand he needs food not milk I have been advised to treat like a new born and feed full bottles every two hours! then leave food all over my house for me to eat if he wants this will not be happening food is only eat up the table or in high chair. Tuesday was a very bad day five temper tantrums each lasting 50 mins each. I have decide going to give another four weeks to see if improves and its definitely not settling in any more just temper and not getting own way or at being put in high chair for food. If no improvement I will be giving notice as taking its toll on all my family.

Thank you for all advise

tess1981
28-02-2014, 12:19 PM
i have a 1 year old at the moment (1 next week) comes 2 days a week... today is his third day and im exhausted... cries 90% of the day only slacking off when my older children come home from school and he plays with them. the other children seem to be pushed to the back burner a lot at the moment but today i decided to let him cry a little keep showing him i was there but not lifting him as much... the crying can get to you a lot but i remind myself "He will settle" - my new mantra... already feel like i have worked a week by noon but have him asleep at the moment and his sister 3 years is glad of the quiet now lol he is lovely just hard work... does not help my 2 year old mindee does not like it when other children are hereshe was here from nov on her own... she screams hits out says everything is hers and also has me exhausted. noone is allowed near me and dare another child touch anything in my house all hell breaks loose...but she too has to learn. will take a month before all settles - i hope... 2 new part time mindees are coming for 5 weeks mon to fri starting wednesday... i hope to be skinny after this lol
gosh im ready for my bed...

Ripeberry
28-02-2014, 02:47 PM
Hi quick up date, meeting with mum did not go well, she is still worried about his eating and is going to take him to the doctor, does not seem to understand he needs food not milk I have been advised to treat like a new born and feed full bottles every two hours! then leave food all over my house for me to eat if he wants this will not be happening food is only eat up the table or in high chair. Tuesday was a very bad day five temper tantrums each lasting 50 mins each. I have decide going to give another four weeks to see if improves and its definitely not settling in any more just temper and not getting own way or at being put in high chair for food. If no improvement I will be giving notice as taking its toll on all my family.

Thank you for all advise

Sounds like a plan. At least you are trying to work out a solution. Your family comes first. :thumbsup:

tess1981
28-02-2014, 03:20 PM
Not too jinz myself but i have had 2 hours amd 10 mins of a pleasant non crying baby... could he have settted lol

KateA
03-03-2014, 12:27 PM
Good luck mine has settled is happy to be with me, no more crying when dropped off just when I leave the room now its just temper tantrums up to five each day lasting for over an hour. Nothing suits him, being put in the high chair, going into travel cot for naps, my own children being here. Dont know what to do really want to give notice but will have no income then as he is my only mindee at moment and with first inspection in next few months want to get it over with as hoping this will mean more interested as grade then.

Are all first inspections carried out within 5-6 months after registration ?


Not too jinz myself but i have had 2 hours amd 10 mins of a pleasant non crying baby... could he have settted lol

tess1981
03-03-2014, 03:35 PM
Dont give up just yet... a few weeks makes all the difference
Aa for your inspection I'm not sure how they work over your way
I get an inspection once a year and they cutting it to an hour instead of up to 2.5 hours

KateA
06-04-2014, 07:25 AM
Hi, yipee its the Easter holls and I have some much need rest bite from nightmare mindee. I will be giving notice to this parents when he comes back after nearly four months still not settled and his temper is getting worse I cannot go near my own children as this results in full scale melt down and he does not give up will just keep screaming at me until he gets his own way and even when he is back in my arms carries on. I am unable to attend groups as he starts the minute we get their until we leave.

I have never know on temper in such a young child I am really surprised he can walk as held so much
X

KatieFS
06-04-2014, 09:51 AM
Bless you - sounds awful. I think you've done well to hold on this long. Have you given notice yet? How will you do it? What will you say?

KateA
08-04-2014, 06:36 PM
Wish me luck making the phone re notice to night as they are requesting a meeting to address my concerns. ( I am guessing they are now expecting it) No way am I having a meeting too little too late and do not want to put myself in the situation of being bullied into keeping him which I think they will do especially the dad.

KatieFS
08-04-2014, 08:32 PM
It's your business and your decision. Good luck!

Let us know how it goes..

KateA
09-04-2014, 08:27 PM
All done, it went well no bad feelings feel so relieved. Secretly hoping he will not be back after holls. Unfortunately I know a few local childminders who won't take him and not to sure long long he will stay elsewhere anyway .

KatieFS
11-04-2014, 11:40 AM
Well done. It's a horrible situation to me in but things will improve now x