michellem
29-01-2014, 07:33 AM
Hi All,
Really sorry this might be long winded but really need some advice. I will tell you a little about me first: I started childminding in August and it has been going brilliantly and my husband has even given up his job to be my assistant and we have been full. We have lots of happy children and have had great feedback from the parents.
So 5 weeks ago i had a 19 month old boy start, he had previously been with a childminder but parents were unhappy with amount of holidays the childminder was taking and had commented that they thought the boy may have hearing problems and was very behind with speech which the parents didn't agree with. So he had two settling in sessions the week he started, he wasn't very settled and cried alot but when speaking with the parents they said he would settle as he got used to us. So he started with us doing 3 days a week but different days as his parents do shifts. For the whole four weeks this little boy has been very upset and we have really struggled to settle him. He wasn't interested in playing with us, he didn't want cuddles, when we went out to play areas or messy play library etc he would just throw himself on the floor and scream until we left, we tried everything possible to calm him but it was not helping. We spoke to mum and asked if there was anything we could do like me going to their house at the weekend for him to get used to me but she just kept saying he will used to it. The second week he was with us on the Thursday, his mums car was broke and she had a day off and i offered to collect him which i did, he came to me fine which surprised me but as soon as we got to my house he was back to the screaming. That afternoon he had diarrhea really bad, all of his clothes were covered, i checked his bag and there were no spare clothes so i spoke to mum and said it would be best to take him home as per my sickness policy (which she has signed) which stated that all children who had sickness or diarhhea would have to go home and be kept away for 24 hours from the last episode. Mum was fine with this and i took him home. He didn't come the next day as it hadn't been 24 hours since the last episode. Week 3 came and the lb was with me Weds, Thurs, Fri this week. He was very upset as usual and on the Thursday was particurly bad, he cried for 4 hours solid, i contacted mum as i thought this was in his best interests and i would want to know if this my child. She asked me if i wanted her to collect and i said do you think its because he's finding it hard to settle in or because he was unwell, she said she thought he was unwell as he hadn't been right at home so she came to collect him. It turned out he was unwell and he was really poorly all weekend. Week 4, the lb was still very unsettled crying most of the day and whatever we tried didn't help. I spoke to mum on collection and said i was quite concerned as i hoped he would of settled a little by now and we agreed we would see how this week goes. This week, week 5, he came monday still no improvement. Me and my husband had a chat and to be honest we just didn't know what to do, all the other children in our care have settled so easily and this lb was upsetting the other children by crying all the time and a couple of the parernts had voiced there concern to me. I found this lb was having all my attention which wasn't fair on the other children and i was worried for the lb as he kept throwing himself around banging his head. Also in the 5 weeks this lb never ate one thing whilst in my care, we tried everything, this was a worry as mum said he was a brilliant eater at home. So yesterday the little boy came and again was particurly bad, he cried non-stop for 4 hours so i asked mum to ring me so i could let her know. Again i didn't say he had to go home but mum thought it best. When mum came to collect we had a very honest chat with her saying we just didn't know what to try with him, i was concerned he wasn't eating and might hurt himself and i was finding it hard with him as he was taking all my time up. I suggested to mum that she spoke to dad and maybe they could come in for a chat to see if there was anything we could do or whether they thought it best to find another childminder as he clearly wasn't taking to our setting.
The next we heard was a txt message from dad late last night saying the following things. He thought the care and service we provided was unacceptable and he was disgusted that whilst there son was with me for 8 hours he only had his nappy changed twice (i change children every 4 hours unless they soil, this is in my policies which they have seen). He said i had sent his son home 3 times with diarhea and he has spoken to 3 other childminders that have told him you only send home after 3 episodes of diarhea (i have only sent him home once with diarhea, the other two mum decided it was best to collect due to prolonged crying) He said i have refused to have him back on these 3 occasions which i haven't but when he had diarrhea i said 24 hour exclusion. He said i just couldn't cope which isnt there problem and that they want all money paid reimbursing as they have lost money from work.
I am so upset, i haven't slept all night with worry and feel sick to the stomach. I have replied explaining the nappy change policy which he has seen and explaining whilst tat might be other childminders policies on sickness and diarhea they are not mine and they have seen mine and signed and explained that twice he went home was due to me and mum decideing that was for the best as i always put the children first and would always notify parents of prolonged periods of crying. I have said i will refund half the money even though i don't think i should as i have put alot of time and effort into this little boy and providing him the best care i can whilst he has been with me. I haven't heard back from dad but just feel so awful, i am now questioning everything i am doing and feel like crap. I am worried they will report me to ofsted but don't see what i have done wrong. I am assuming they are not going to bring him back. I feel worried that they will be slagging me of to other childminders, but i tried my best. Just feel like a failure.
Any advice would be appreciated :( xx:panic:
Really sorry this might be long winded but really need some advice. I will tell you a little about me first: I started childminding in August and it has been going brilliantly and my husband has even given up his job to be my assistant and we have been full. We have lots of happy children and have had great feedback from the parents.
So 5 weeks ago i had a 19 month old boy start, he had previously been with a childminder but parents were unhappy with amount of holidays the childminder was taking and had commented that they thought the boy may have hearing problems and was very behind with speech which the parents didn't agree with. So he had two settling in sessions the week he started, he wasn't very settled and cried alot but when speaking with the parents they said he would settle as he got used to us. So he started with us doing 3 days a week but different days as his parents do shifts. For the whole four weeks this little boy has been very upset and we have really struggled to settle him. He wasn't interested in playing with us, he didn't want cuddles, when we went out to play areas or messy play library etc he would just throw himself on the floor and scream until we left, we tried everything possible to calm him but it was not helping. We spoke to mum and asked if there was anything we could do like me going to their house at the weekend for him to get used to me but she just kept saying he will used to it. The second week he was with us on the Thursday, his mums car was broke and she had a day off and i offered to collect him which i did, he came to me fine which surprised me but as soon as we got to my house he was back to the screaming. That afternoon he had diarrhea really bad, all of his clothes were covered, i checked his bag and there were no spare clothes so i spoke to mum and said it would be best to take him home as per my sickness policy (which she has signed) which stated that all children who had sickness or diarhhea would have to go home and be kept away for 24 hours from the last episode. Mum was fine with this and i took him home. He didn't come the next day as it hadn't been 24 hours since the last episode. Week 3 came and the lb was with me Weds, Thurs, Fri this week. He was very upset as usual and on the Thursday was particurly bad, he cried for 4 hours solid, i contacted mum as i thought this was in his best interests and i would want to know if this my child. She asked me if i wanted her to collect and i said do you think its because he's finding it hard to settle in or because he was unwell, she said she thought he was unwell as he hadn't been right at home so she came to collect him. It turned out he was unwell and he was really poorly all weekend. Week 4, the lb was still very unsettled crying most of the day and whatever we tried didn't help. I spoke to mum on collection and said i was quite concerned as i hoped he would of settled a little by now and we agreed we would see how this week goes. This week, week 5, he came monday still no improvement. Me and my husband had a chat and to be honest we just didn't know what to do, all the other children in our care have settled so easily and this lb was upsetting the other children by crying all the time and a couple of the parernts had voiced there concern to me. I found this lb was having all my attention which wasn't fair on the other children and i was worried for the lb as he kept throwing himself around banging his head. Also in the 5 weeks this lb never ate one thing whilst in my care, we tried everything, this was a worry as mum said he was a brilliant eater at home. So yesterday the little boy came and again was particurly bad, he cried non-stop for 4 hours so i asked mum to ring me so i could let her know. Again i didn't say he had to go home but mum thought it best. When mum came to collect we had a very honest chat with her saying we just didn't know what to try with him, i was concerned he wasn't eating and might hurt himself and i was finding it hard with him as he was taking all my time up. I suggested to mum that she spoke to dad and maybe they could come in for a chat to see if there was anything we could do or whether they thought it best to find another childminder as he clearly wasn't taking to our setting.
The next we heard was a txt message from dad late last night saying the following things. He thought the care and service we provided was unacceptable and he was disgusted that whilst there son was with me for 8 hours he only had his nappy changed twice (i change children every 4 hours unless they soil, this is in my policies which they have seen). He said i had sent his son home 3 times with diarhea and he has spoken to 3 other childminders that have told him you only send home after 3 episodes of diarhea (i have only sent him home once with diarhea, the other two mum decided it was best to collect due to prolonged crying) He said i have refused to have him back on these 3 occasions which i haven't but when he had diarrhea i said 24 hour exclusion. He said i just couldn't cope which isnt there problem and that they want all money paid reimbursing as they have lost money from work.
I am so upset, i haven't slept all night with worry and feel sick to the stomach. I have replied explaining the nappy change policy which he has seen and explaining whilst tat might be other childminders policies on sickness and diarhea they are not mine and they have seen mine and signed and explained that twice he went home was due to me and mum decideing that was for the best as i always put the children first and would always notify parents of prolonged periods of crying. I have said i will refund half the money even though i don't think i should as i have put alot of time and effort into this little boy and providing him the best care i can whilst he has been with me. I haven't heard back from dad but just feel so awful, i am now questioning everything i am doing and feel like crap. I am worried they will report me to ofsted but don't see what i have done wrong. I am assuming they are not going to bring him back. I feel worried that they will be slagging me of to other childminders, but i tried my best. Just feel like a failure.
Any advice would be appreciated :( xx:panic: