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View Full Version : Rejection is getting me so down.



trickiedickie
22-01-2014, 04:13 PM
Looking for some feed back really.

Up until to day I have had three potential parents visit me. One came back to me and said she had decided on a nanny. The other one didn't get back to me at all and that was exactly 2 weeks ago. So presuming she found another childminder, as she told me she was going to see others and would be back in touch. The third one was doubtful I would manage my own son's nursery run and her daughters, so never heard back.

A couple and their son came to see me today. Stayed for 45 minuntes. The Mum never smiled and yawned alot during the 45 minutes. On leaving her parting words were going out my front door, "say thank you, for letting you come for a play" to her wee one. :panic: The Dad on hearing this said "Oh we will be in touch".

Another Mum and her baby came this afternoon who were lovely. She is bringing her husband next Wednesday for another visit. I am starting to doubt myself so much. I now feel this Mum may feel ok about me and her wee one but the Dad might put a damper on it.

Is this common? For parents who are not interested to stay for so long and for them to never contact you back.

I would love to know what I am doing wrong, what put the parents off using me.

Do you all follow up visits with a text or email thanking the parents for coming etc ?

I just feel so utterly dejected.

Koala
22-01-2014, 04:35 PM
It's a tricky one - I have had parents sign up and pay a deposit the next day when I thought I would never see them again and I have had parents who I thought were a dead cert! never return.

Don't get too disheartened the fact is there will be lots of people just window shopping and lots just being nosey and lots that just want something different.
Maybe if you wanted you could ask a fellow minder or friend to come and do a mock visit and give you advice. But be tough because to truly develop you have to accept what they say, you don't have to act on it but be mindful of their comments.

jackie 7
22-01-2014, 05:10 PM
For a while I thought someone was hacking my childcare profile and telling people I was not nice.

bunnyjess
22-01-2014, 05:11 PM
Ah don't worry. Have you not long started? I was really down for the first 4 months thinking if never get busy. I had loads of people come to see me and nothing came of it. I had some very odd parents too.
Once word gets out it will be fine. Just relax. I'm full up now.
What do you do when they visit? As in say etc. do you give them anything? I give mine a sheet saying what I offer and do and another about costs, deposits etc.

Koala
22-01-2014, 05:52 PM
For a while I thought someone was hacking my childcare profile and telling people I was not nice.

It is hard not to take it personally and your not alone thinking strange things, I too think what could be wrong with me when parents go elsewhere or just don't get back to me but being realistic, sometimes, I don't think they give you a second thought once they are out of your door.

:thumbsup: chin up :thumbsup: your time will come. :thumbsup:

trickiedickie
22-01-2014, 07:10 PM
Thanks everyone. You have all made me feel normal again. I could have cried reading your lovely replies. I am just beginning to fee so down.

I have a wee booklet which gives the parents info about myself, my family. A typical day. Costs, holidays, hours, settling in policy.

The first family today didn't even ask to take it away. Not that I was bothered as knew they weren't interested. But why oh why stay 45 minutes?I suppose because their wee one is happy, playing with every toy in the room, me on the floor next to him, so no need for them to rush away.

Thanks for the point about what am I saying. Think I need to remember that first time parents haven't used childcare before etc. I should be mentioning all about me forms etc. Realised that this afternoon. Maybe discuss settling in sessions with them more. Think the first Mum today was really down about having to go back to work. Didn't want to say to her that once she is back she will probably love it.

Also, I think I will ask a childminder I know from my kids school if she fancies coming for a cuppa one day, so as she can have a look around my setting and ask me questions that she feels parents ask. She has been minding for 7 years so should be able to help. Thanks for the advice.

I feel so much better now, I am going to stop thinking it is just me and make each interview/meeting a learning experience! Eventually someone will fall for me. I will keep you posted.

Oh another parent is coming tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I have been registered since beginning of December and have one mindee at the moment.

sarah707
22-01-2014, 07:15 PM
Once you get started you'll be fine! One parent tells another and you will be full in no time. It's just getting the first ones through the door.

Hugs xx

Rick
22-01-2014, 07:26 PM
Once you get started you'll be fine! One parent tells another and you will be full in no time. It's just getting the first ones through the door.

Hugs xx

This is true. My wife knew Family A. Family A knew Family B. Family A and B knew Family C. Family D and A knew Family E. Family F I knew from toddler group. Family D has left a nice review on childcare.co.uk and now I get lots more enquiries :-)

LauraS
22-01-2014, 07:49 PM
I had a woman stay for nearly three hours when I first started, she was very positive but left and I didn't hear anything from her. I messaged her about a month later for some feedback, and she said she'd been struggling to negotiate terms with her work for her return after maternity leave. I did end up having her child for a while, although they left me because she changed employer quite quickly.

Of the others who didn't sign up (I went through a period of calling them all for feedback because I felt a bit paranoid, like you!) one persuaded grandma to take early retirement to look after lo. One had done a dummy run from her house to mine and then on to work during rush hour traffic and found that the commute was probably impractical as I was quite a bit out of her way. One decided to use a nursery because they decided that they would prefer their child not to spend time outdoors and the nursery could promise them that (!). One thought my house was nuts and didn't think her small baby would get on well here (she came in the afternoon after the school run and it was a particularly crazy day!). One opted for another childminder who had experience of her child's particular disability. One went for someone significantly cheaper.

I think if you knew people's reasons you might not feel so paranoid because, in my experience, they are often nothing to do with you. You have nothing to lose by emailing.

redtiger21
22-01-2014, 08:33 PM
I remember feeling gutted for the first month or so when I started (been at it 3 months now)- I thought I'd be inundated from day 1 as there are no other minders in town, but it wasn't until a month ago that spaces started to fill. I got some enquiries, even a home visit, got my hopes up but all came to nothing. And my first ever mindee never even started with me, we signed the contract, permission forms, everything (silly me for not charging a deposit!), mum rings me at 7pm the night before she started, to say she won't be attending as can't afford it after all! You live and learn though :) Things will definitely build up and you'll wonder what on earth you were worrying about, you'll even pray for a day where you're empty! xx

unalindura77
22-01-2014, 08:35 PM
Hi there, just wanted to say, I've not been doing this even for 6 months yet but remembered how you feel! I felt exactly the same way and to me the worse part of this job is welcoming strangers in to your home, this happened to me on many occasions and most didn't have the decency to call me back or give feedback.

Now however I am turning work away!

So believe in yourself and keep going, it is hard work and tiring, sometimes you feel a right muppet entertaining ungrateful people (while you roll around on the floor with lo's with a huge smile cooing while they observe you and look through your paperwork as in my case) but the right one's coming along will be well worth it!

trickiedickie
22-01-2014, 09:41 PM
Thanks everyone. Thank goodness for this website. I just feel noone else really understands. Only childminders or people selling their home have their home on show this much.

Really hoping I get another mindee soon.