Am I being a Bad Daughter?

[Tealady]

Original plan for Christmas was just DH, DD (8), DS (4) and myself for Christmas Day and my Mum and Sister (sister still lives at home) were joining us Boxing Day. I was really looking forward to it being this way round as Mum and Sister aren't the easiest of guests.

However Mum's cooker went bang yesterday. Engineer came out today and basically they need a new one.

When talking to Mum yesterday I did say they could come for Christmas Day to which she commented that I wouldn't want them two days in a row.

On the phone today when telling me about how they were going to cope she said they were going to get an Indian and seemed OK about it.

However my Mum does expect people to be mind readers and she does play games. So I am left wondering if I am supposed to insist her and my sister come but in my opinion I've asked her once, she declined. I don't play mind games, so I feel I should leave it but now I feel a bit uncaring.

Should I leave it or would the daughterly thing be to ask again?

[caz3007]

couldn't you suggest you swap the days and send them home with plenty of cold meat and stuff for boxing day x

[shortstuff]

we used to go and 'kidnap' my granny every christmas day as she always said she didnt want a fuss made x it paid off as she felt wanted

maybe do something similar? it was always good fun for us, we probably started doing that when I was about 8? until i was well in to my teens x we loved it as it was being naughty but with a great end result x

[dawn100]

This reply might be to late, I can sympathise with you as have been in similar situations with my mum and sister in previous years, my mum is also the type to say no but would be really put out. I would prob phone and offer for a second time but if they still said no leave it at that, however I would be really tempted to leave it as it is, but if they were coming round I would want the morning to just me and my family and tell them what time lunch. I would only be offering a second time out of guilt.
Hope you come to a decision you are happy with - families can be tricky!

[Kiddleywinks]

couldn't you suggest you swap the days and send them home with plenty of cold meat and stuff for boxing day x

I think I'd have done this and enjoyed a restful boxing day with my own family

[sarah707]

You have asked - she is organised - stop feeling guilty and relax. Hugs xx

[chriss]

sometimes we have to put our own little family first...i know we feel a bit guillty, but I have come to realise that many people are selfish and will do what suits them, regardless of how it affects others. So now, I try and do what is best for me and my own kids , most of the time anyways, or during the important times

[Tulip]

Oh gosh, it's one of those dammed if you do and dammed if you don't!
Myself I would perhaps offer again and also offer to bring food round then they can choose or decline both
I've come to realise that christmas/boxing days are not rest days but the busiset of all year
I'll relax afterwards! :)

[Tealady]

Thanks for your replies. After seeing my Sister putting on Facebook that she was really look forward to doing nothing all day and her Takeaway from the best curry house in town, I decided to leave it.

They came up today and we had a good day, although they baled before tea. I sent home some batch prepared all in one casserole from my freezer so they can blast it in the microwave for a meal tomorrow and will see if they want to come over for a meal on Saturday.

Can't do much more really.

[charlottenash]

Well done, sounds good, hope you've enjoyed Xmas xx

[shortstuff]

Sounds like it worked out great for you all x brill news x