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Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 10:07 AM
Mindee 2 has started to have a few behaviour issues. One of theses I'm struggling to know how to deal with.
He has a melt down if I say someone else has done something.
Example- aww x is a bit upset he bumped his head.
Mindee wil then scream nooooo me bump head and have a tantrum.

I've tried saying you did bump your head last week didn't you and now x has done it too. But that makes it worse.
I've tried just saying no x bumped head and then ignoring the tantrum.

Help me :( this happens at least twice a day now.

Glitter
18-12-2013, 12:24 PM
Could it be that this child is jealous of other children getting attention from you.
Would it help if you said 'x has hurt his head, could you help me by getting him a tissue'? Then the child might not be feeling left out.

Obviously this might not be the reason as two year olds follow their own set of emotional rules that the rest of us can not understand.
I hope you find a solution soon as it can be very draining to deal with.

Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 12:50 PM
With any other child that would probably help. With this lo though it would mean he had to do something for someone else which is a big no no.
This afternoons episode was brought on because another lo said my mummys at work. He had a fit and screamed noooo my mummy work. I explained that his mummy and x's mummy were both at work today but he had full tantrum screaming no my mummy work.

He does it home too. His mum will put him at the table for tea and call his sister to come to the table and he'll go mental shouting no me at the table.

I know at this age to them the world does completely revolve around them and what they're doing in their eyes but I've never ever seen it to this extreme.

kellyskidz!
18-12-2013, 01:23 PM
That's quite odd behaviour!
Maybe try praising him a lot for the time being over positive things like wow look how well you've done this or that, I'm so proud so he sees he does get praise and attention for positive reasons
Then if he tantrums over someone else just completely ignore it, then maybe he'll not be confusing negative ways to gain your attention.
Maybe (and don't take this the wrong way) you're over explaining, like explaining xs mummy and your mummy are at work and he had a melt down, maybe when he says my mummy at work just nod or smile and then do something else?
Could you chat to Mum and see what she makes of it, and ask if he does it at home and what does she do?
At 2 though we all know they're usually testing every boundary possible so he might just grow out of it, with any luck for you :thumbsup: xx

dawn100
18-12-2013, 01:58 PM
As he is like it at home has this ever meant he has got special treatment.
My sister has two boys one is extremely spoilt and always wants to be centre of attention, you say about the table reminded me of an incident when we were round their at lunch time and a similar thing happened everyone called for lunch he said no me lunch so my sister said ok let him have his lunch first and on his own everyone else had to wait - to say I was livid was an understatement. But back to my original point if at home he has ever had special treatment because of his arguing like that maybe that is what he is pushing for? In which case I might not even acknowledge when he's argumentative like that just completely ignore his comments and tantrums deal with any other children that need dealing with and just change the subject. Easier said than done and you might be in for bit of a rough ride.

Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 02:00 PM
I've tried just nodding and smiling and doing something else or changing the subject. He just follows me repeating it over and over again.

It's not just when children do something that it happens. If I say I'm going to the toilet he screams no me toilet. I spend the whole day wording things so it's never directed at a particular child.

Lo just sneezed so I said bless you. He didn't go into full melt down but he did repeat over and over no me sneeze. He was pouting and stamping his feet while he was saying it.

Mum has no idea what to do about it. She's really struggling and has asked me for help. I have no advice for her as it seems to be worse when he's with me as there's more children about.

Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 02:04 PM
I don't think he has ever got special attention for it at home. If anything he gets ignored more for this behaviour there than he does here.
At home mum will put him in the hallway away from everyone else until he stops. I don't have anywhere I could put him safely on his own as I wouldn't be able to still see him. so I move him to the corner of the room when his tantrum is really bad.

dawn100
18-12-2013, 02:09 PM
Ok it is an odd one. Is there a song or something he really likes? One of my lo's loves head shoulders knees and toes and if he's about to go into melt down I just start singing it, not to him but with the other children and he can't resist but join in. So is there anything you could start doing with the others to distract him. Not sure what else to suggest.

Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 02:35 PM
He loves my nursery rhyme box and as long as los aren't in the middle of doing something else I get that out. He will stop screaming to begin with but then starts again as soon as one of the others chooses a song.

I can't wait for the Christmas holidays. He's off from the 20th-6th. I'm going to dread him coming back in the new year :(

Simona
18-12-2013, 02:55 PM
At that age children often repeat the last words in any sentence...this is called 'echolalia'...do research it and see if that applies to him

I would be careful about putting him in a corner because that will be punishment for him and he will be unable to reason at that age
If his mum puts him in the hall by himself that could fuel frustration and confusion and tantrums will continue

What you need to know about Echolalia | Friendship Circle -- Special Needs Blog (http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2012/04/18/what-you-need-to-know-about-echolalia/)

Mrsh3103
18-12-2013, 03:51 PM
I'll have a look. Thank you.
I have to move him for everyone's safety. When in full tantrum mode he will hit out and kick at anyone who goes near him. I know moving him to the corner of the room probably isn't the best thing to do but at the moment I don't have much other choice. Hopefully I will find a solution soon

kellyskidz!
18-12-2013, 04:05 PM
Maybe if he's ignored t home then that's the problem. And that could be why he's repeating himself a lot too, so someone answers him
Could you trying saying back whatever he's saying like mummy no work, say ok mummy no work, lets go in the garden!
I think at 2 unless there's an underlying problem then it will probably just be a phase, and while its tough going now, he'll hopefully stop feeling the need to tantrum because he knows he gets more positive attention and praise when he's not doing it xx