View Full Version : school run actually makes me want to quit on the spot!!

17-12-2013, 09:16 AM
I have honestly never met children like it, constant whining & tell tailing..... Seriously you cannot pass wind in my house with out someone telling on you or whining!

I used to let them free play for the half hour after breakfast before school but it created so many problems I started setting activities, even this hasn't helped & we now whine about other peoples choices & tell if someone so much as looks at us
all I hear is "rickers83eeeeee" in a long whining tone "x looked at me" "x doesn't like blue" "x said I cant be leader"

then we walk to school, double pushchair, 4 yr, 2x 5yr, 7yr & 8yr
whining about walking, holding school bag.
7yr runs off, doesn't listen to anything I say.
I've tried follow the leader, be a whatever to the next lamppost, even this creates arguments!

& worst of all my dd's have never been like that and now they are starting to do it too :0(

reallly starting to grate on me now after 4 months of it

sorry long post, long rant, but had to get it off my chest

17-12-2013, 09:42 AM
Before and after school children I find the hardest, I think because I hav school age children it really impacts on them and they find it hard, don't think I would find it so hard if my own kids were older and it didn't have such an impact on them. So I have now stopped doing school pick ups and drop offs, I had to reduce some days to accommodate my kids activities so only have one after school child 1 day a week and won't take on anymore, now my kids get the opportunity to have friends round for tea as it won't now take me over my numbers.
It wasnt an easy decision but so glad I did it!

17-12-2013, 10:01 AM
My daughter whines all the way to school and it is very draining - and she's the only child I have! That's a lot of children for you to look after and keep safe, let alone having the extra stress of them moaning.

I think you'll have to work hard on changing the culture of moaning and tale telling which has evolved. If you hear one of them saying something nice to each other or doing a kind deed (no matter how small) pile on the praise. You could make a kindness chart and each time a child says/does something kind they can get a sticker. Another good strategy is to 'work together' to gain points for a reward. A Year 1 class that I taught were really into clowns and so we drew a great big clown with stars on his trousers. Every time someone said/did something kind they could colour in a star. When all the stars were coloured in they got a treat (they wanted a baking session as their treat). It really does make them focus on and notice the positive things that they/others do. Some children actually don't know how to give praise and so another childminder I know used to point out opportunities for one child to praise another, for example "Oh, x has a new haircut, you should tell her she looks lovely!", or "x is doing well catching that ball, shall we tell him how well he's doing?"

Also, work with them on finding alternatives to tale telling/moaning. Do they have to tell you every time? If they are in danger or very upset then yes, they have to tell you. What could they do instead of telling you on other occasions?

Good luck. If you change your mindset and think about supporting them to become more positive people then you will see it as an exciting challenge, rather than a draining time that you can't wait to get through! (I need to take my own advice with my daughter, lol!) x

Nicola Carlyle
17-12-2013, 10:09 AM
On days like that I make them all sit on the lounge floor, tell them that we are doing absolutely nothing except sit there in silence until it's time for school. I and them one at a time to get shoes on and bags etc and they arent allowed to talk to each other whilst doing so. I explain that we are doing this because it doesn't matter what we do someone isn't happy. This way everyone is happy because if we don't talk to each other or move around then there is nothing to be unhappy about!!!! They soon get the message. I play them at their own game sometimes to saying, "oh don't look at me please! I don't think I want you to sit beside me thank you" etc, being very nice and calm about it and when they ask why I ask them how it makes them feel. We talk about our feelings and how we should respect other peoples wishes but also that's it's really no big deal and we don't need to tell on each other all the time for nothing. It really does work. Sometimes you have to show them instead if just telling them. Of course we could be doing the same thing at the start of every term but we get there. Children need to understand and sometimes telling them isn't always the best way so showing then helps. x

17-12-2013, 10:37 AM
Is there something they really like doing which you could introduce as a treat for Impeccable - nothing less! behaviour on the school run?
I think it might be a good idea too, to remind everyone of the rules. We have simple positive ones like 'be kind' 'be helpful', care for each other, help each other to stay safe listen to each other etc. They all like to think they are good people, kind and caring so reminders of a better way to deal with things can help. "that's not like you, x, you're a patient/kind girl/ good friend/usually so mature and sensible. What would be a kind way to deal with what y is doing/saying?"

The hardest part is that I think it gets to be a habit that they enjoy and the attention that goes with it, albeit negative attention. I am having trouble with 2 children in particular at the moment behaviour wise and trying really hard not to give lots of negative attention all the way to school or home. A firm 'this is how I need you to behave on the way home/ to school, with a short specific list of instructions and reminder of the consequences if not managed/ really tried to achieve this on the way home works better, when I remember..

I have sticker charts and treat activities as acknowledgements of achievements including good behaviour, which seem to work ok for most children; one needs to be reminded I will call parents if behaviour deteriorates and he gets a reminder on meeting, then a warning if behaviour starts. A repeat of behaviour is x minutes in time out; refusal to go into time out or repeat of the behaviour after time out results in a phone call to parents and they apply consequences (fairly severe - now that I have suggested another setting may be better for him) at home. He's at that age where they get a surge of pre-teen hormones and have trouble with respecting boundaries and the first I have had to be so extreme with, but it was that or give notice! And he behaved perfectly well for the 2 years previously, so I see no reason why he can't do so again.....

The other is younger (5) and is only with me for the actual journey to school so its harder to apply any real consequences. I do the same trying to resist telling him off thing (not easy when he's being loud, purposely not listening to me or responding to what I say/ arguing with me pulling/pushing the buggy handle :rolleyes:) and offer stickers for an excellent journey, distraction, encouragement and have asked mum to support this with lots of praise at home :). 8 weeks in we still have good and bad days..... think I will have another chat with Mum and a time limit for serious improvement.... life's too short.

Good luck, hope you get things calmer soon :thumbsup:

17-12-2013, 12:25 PM
I have a saying for my older mindees when they start telling tales-"If there isn't any blood I don't want to know!!".Sounds a bit harsh, but it made them realise that they can't keep coming to me with silly little tales about nothing-I also explained to them that they waste valuable playing time by telling tales and that other people really don't like it!
If they have little fall outs then I don't intervene unless tears are shed-they have to work things out themselves sometimes,and most of the time they find a way of working together.
As for the school run-any child who runs off is warned that they will hold the pushchair all the way to school if they do it again-any of my older mindees would be mortified if they had to walk into school whilst holding onto my pushchair!I've only ever had to carry it out a couple of times, but it worked!
Whining about carrying school bag-I told one mindee "Ok leave it on the pavement then and you won't have to carry it".If you carry one, you have to carry them all!
I honestly don't have any messing about on the school run-and some days I take 10 to school! The younger one's walk with me,and i find the older one's tend to pair up for a chat.We even take the dog!
There are so many safety issues on the school run,it can be a nightmare.Lay down the law before you go-tell them "if you do so-and-so then this is what will happen".They'll soon learn!

17-12-2013, 12:32 PM
I do find school children harder to look after and I do moan about it every so often especially in the school holidays :D

I am really, really strict with mine, not in a harsh way but in a 'you know who the boss is' kinda way.

On the school run they walk in from of me and the buggy, no running, no playing games. They can chat but need to be looking for cars and obstacles. If someone isn't sticking to the rules they get reminded calmly.
It usually works 9/10 but on the odd occasion (if they are excited about something) you can usually find me ripping my hair out and hollering all the way down to school :D
Everyone HAS to walk and everyone HAS to carry their own bag, they don't even ask me because they know I wont :D

I usually have 9 children on the school run and honestly couldn't do it if they were all over the place so I have (for safety and sanity) to make them be sensible and follow rules. I don't tolerate anything on the school run because if one child was to fall into the road it doesn't bear thinking about.

Once in the house they play for a while but it soon gets out of hand if they're boisterous and things start to get broken so I have to remind them that there isn't enough room for running etc. After a snack tea I do allow them to watch TV as they have been at school all day and want to rest. So usually from 5pm onwards they watch TV.
No one has complained about the TV incorporated into the afterschool routine in 6yrs and if they did then they could always go to the after school club.

17-12-2013, 10:38 PM
Have you tried enormous gobstoppers :laughing:

christine e
18-12-2013, 07:00 AM
I know exactly what you mean. We stop off at park on way home most nights and this helps let off a bit of steam but it is a constant battle sorting out little whinges and wines. I try and split them up once home so have a couple of older ones on computer and maybe another 2 on wii and then little ones in kitchen with me but they just don't seem able to leave each other alone