injunction. ...

[starschildmind]

Hi all. Need some advice. I have had a dad pull I knife on mum yesterday. . Thanks.god baby was in my care at the time.

Dad has been conviceted of having a weapon and with intent to use and harm. He has been given an injunction not to come near mum, baby and apparently myself.
I didnt realise I could be in danger and I dont really know what to do. Im hoping he wont be stupid enough to come here.

Should I do a risk assesment, or any other paperwork? I feel I should do some, put some in place. At present he has been realised and awaiting a Court date.
I am worried about taking baby out incase hes there or starts something.

Any advice would be great. Ive had a horrible first year minding. Its just puttinf the cherry on the cake :( ...

[Lottie]

Gosh what an awful situation ((hugs)). Sounds like the Mother has an injunction for him not to come near you or your home, but I would clarify that with her. I haven't been in this situation but I'm sure someone on here will give you good advice. In the meantime if he does come to your home, don't answer the door and call the police immediately. X

[Bluebell]

I've got similar situation - I would speak directly to the social worker and get advice.

The advice I was given originally was if dad comes let him take child he has parental right to do so unless I believe him to be drunk or unfit to do so in any other way. If I then needed to let child go to protect myself and other children in my care to phone the police straight away.

The latest advice I have been given, now that child is on protection order, is child is not to go with dad. Again if I feel my safety is at risk or those I care for then to let child go and then phone the police.

You need to clarify exactly what the situation is.

I would make sure you keep access door locked and some way of checking before you open door as to who it is.

[starschildmind]

Thank you.

It gets more complicated.

Mum is 15. So doesnt have parental rights. Nore does dad (hes 18) not sure why dont think hes registered on the birth cert... :-/

Nan has gardianship. But is slowly dying.

Im sook stuck. I can see who is other side of my door and ive had conversations with my assistant of what would happen if he came.

I really cant give up and let the baby go as baby and mum need me esp if nan is dying.

Rahhh.. all in my first year. :(

[sarah707]

You cannot put yourself or your family in a dangerous position - if you feel in danger then you let dad take baby and ring police.

Hopefully it won't come to that.

hugs xx

[Koala]

Totally agree with Sarah707.

The only other thing I would add is that if I thought there was any chance that I was in danger due to caring for any child then I am afraid I would have to withdraw my services until the situation has resolved, i DON'T TAKE DANGER MONEY EITHER. I don't think I could bare the fallout, stress and uncertainty, but you sound a lot braver than me. Good Luck :thumbsup:

[FloraDora]

In my previous profession I was often in this situation, but as a childminder, working on your own you are a lot more vulnerable.

Firstly - establish exactly what they mean by 'injunction' and ask to see the paperwork because an injunction properly completed, through courts will over ride parental rights. Also, mums and grandmas sometimes say something has happened and have no paperwork which means it hasn't happened in exactly the way they say.

As she is so young with mum having parental responsibility then the social worker will know all the details - so keep in touch with them - if this was a real threat to you you would have been immediately informed by them.

It is my experience that ...Often estranged dads with aggresive behaviour do not take it outside the domestic scene...one dad in 100's appeared at school .... They are all brave in front of the partner hat they can dominate but think twice to cause a scene elsewhere. But ....you should still be cautious.

If this lad is a real threat to his daughter or you then a special meeting will have been called between the police and social workers ... Multi-agency risk assessment conferences (MARACs) ....and you will be advised ...
But 9/10 families in this situation don't reach this crisis situation. Ask the social worker if one has been called.

My steps when dad/ mum ( with an injunction) turns up in these situations ...stay calm and friendly. Explain YOUR situation - being in the middle- if paperwork is in your hands ..show them why he/she can't see the child and why you have to phone mum,grandma,social worker or police. Because you are close to him, if you have his mobile, youmay be better to text him and explain it and not answer the door.

As for going out and about.... Do what you think makes you feel comfortable ...stay in until you get to the bottom of it all.

Usually when they have seen their solicitor they are on best behaviour.....especially around third parties- and trying to get you sympathetic to their cause...

Not a nice stiuation to be in...

[charlottenash]

It sounds like an awful setup. Please do everything you can to keep this child, they probably desperately need the stability of your house.

Ring social worker, ask for their position. If dad has an injunction against him not to go near mum or childminder, I'm guessing that means they don't want him near baby either.

If he turns up, explain you cannot be in contact with him and ask him to leave. Immediately call the police (even if he leaves quietly, how do u know he's not gone to sharpen his knife) seriously!

Try and keep a good relationship with mum and get all info you can out of her without pressure. Also remember, mum (being young) may go back with Dad and tell you all is ok when it isn't, you need to have contact with the social worker.

Keep your chin-up, your obviously doing a fabulous job xxx

[starschildmind]

So spoke to my development officer today.

She said I need in writing who has parental responsibility.

Then I need in writing what has happened and what the police have said.

I need to put a risk assessment and action plan in place incase he turns up.

I then need to have a very large drink at the weekend.

Im really dont know if minding is for me. This first year ive had so much thrown at me. Please tell me it gets easier :( :(

[Stapleton83]

I don't know if it gets easier but you do become more able to cope with the situations that crop up as your experience and confidence grows, plus the forum is a fantastic form of support.

Chin up x

[SammySplodger]

I agree - you just get more experienced / confident / harder... that said, this sort of situation is very tough and I really feel for you. My first year was pretty difficult with a different sort of situation, but a real baptism of fire. Took me a while to settle into being a CM as a result. I now have another situation on my hands. So, in conclusion, it's a sort of 'rough and smooth' job. I think it's very lucky if it's straight forward...
x

[Ripeberry]

Horrible, horrible situation. This is exactly why I won't ever offer the 2 yr old funding in my area as it's for problem families. I won't put myself or my family in danger. If the Dad threatens you then what can you do? It's his child. Call the police on him. We don't get paid enough to deal with this stuff :panic: