Childminding for family

[Minstrel]

Have been asked to consider seriously childminding my niece/ nephew when it arrives and sil returns to work. We are genuinely very good friends and DH's get on well too.

We are at the discussion stage and have both agreed to talk in couples, think about all the points which need thorough discussion and then we will go out for dinner and discuss it as a foursome.

So right now I am trying to compose a list of all the points that need to be sorted and hashed out before any decisions are made.

Can you help?

[Kiddleywinks]

I look after my niece for my sister.
I showed her my policies and contracts to look through, just as I do with any other parent, and then we sat down and clarified that on the days she wanted me to be her childminder (contracted and paid for as per my terms) that's what I was - her childminder.
No early drop offs, no late pick ups, unless prearranged as per policies. No assuming I would bend the rules because of who I am.
We have 2 relationships - a professional one and a personal one, that is far more important, so if I felt the line was getting blurred, I would terminate as per contract.

I'm fortunate in that my sister works in a nursery so understands far more where I was coming from than the rest of the family do lol
(they voiced their opinions about the fact that I could even think about charging! I should have family as and when and for free!! In fairness, I get why they think that but this is my livelihood and my niece took one if my EYFS spaces, and the choice was a. Me - a family member that does this for a living so is gonna charge
b. Another minder - who was gonna charge
c. Would you like to look after her instead? 30 hours a week for free?)

To her credit, she has been religious about behaving herself. She has had far less favours than any of the other parents, and the ones she has had has been at my instigation.
I still have/see my niece outside of working hours, sleepovers etc, and the bond we have is super.
You know your family, do they normally take the mickey?
Do they borrow and never/rarely return it?
High values and morals, or low ones?
Use your gut feeling about whether you feel truly comfortable about it.

Hope that helps x

[Memina]

I care for my niece too and do charge a slightly reduced fee. To begin with it was a nightmare and my sister always late to collect and pay.

I threatened to tell my mum lol

We had a meeting and I explained the predicament and explained how I felt. She got angry and went to see a local nursery and came back apologising as she realised that the care I was providing was the best.

We now have a great working relationship.

My advice would be to ensure that the terms and conditions are set from the beginning

[Minstrel]

Thank you that's very useful.

I genuinely don't think they would take the ****. They are extremely organised, punctual people and financially very sound and BIL in particular spreadsheet mad :)

We have similar outlooks on most things and I will encourage them to look around a bit wen hey don't want to choose anyone else but just to compare what sort of deal they are getting.

Dh is worried I will look to him a but more to step in with his niece or nephew but I think I will have to promise that in minding hours I will do it all. He's a shift worker so sometimes around to lend a hand with our dc.

Lots to think about it but I'm quite excited. Sil is one of my best friends and I want to hope and pray it will work out.

[Kiddleywinks]

Define your professional relationship boundaries to go through - (List all the things that tick you off with past and current clients lol)

Don't ask if they'll keep to them, it'll be yes of course, we'd never do that etc, ask instead can they see themselves in a scenario that could lead to the same or similar potential issues
In effect risk assess the parents lol family and friends are easier as you already know them and still love em for it

Drawing the line in the sand is easy, sticking to it less so, but doable with the right people and attitudes on both sides.
Even my niece figured out early on when she was here as a minded child and when she was 'family' lol.

[loocyloo]

Not family but i minded my best friends children. They too quickly knew when they were with me as a childminder or with me as mummys friend.

Dh and I have 6 siblings between us ( plus a few cousins) that I could possibly care for the children of ... I would only consider it for one and we live too far away. :-( I think it does depend upon your relationship in the first place and if they respect you and your job. I think the onus is on the childminder to keep the relationship on its professional footing and to try not to blur the boundaries.

Good luck x

[benandjerrys]

I have been minding my partners grandchildren, a baby and 2 boys age 7 and 9. In the last two weeks mum has been late 4 times but I kept my mouth shut. Tonight after turning up. 20 mins late I told her she needs to start being on time and she turned on me. Gold me she didn't need to hear it and she would ring me when she got home. I told her kids had coats on for half hour and were starving. She hasn't rang me, don't know what will happen on Monday with baby. And to top it off she owes me £400 as she said tax credits have stopped her child are. I will NEVER mind family kids again. It has caused hell of a lot of friction and ruined my weekend.

[Minstrel]

This is all very helpful thank you.
Sil is always telling people what a great mum and childminder I am , she says she wants a direct line to me 24/7 for help and advice! :) She's already said money wouldn't be an issue- standing order for each month.
The only thing to consider for them is the fact that the baby isn't born yet and so it's all a bit theoretical.

I have written my own contracts and they are very clear so I would get them to have a good read over before signing just like any other parent.

Extended family(in laws) might be trickier than us four tbh!!

I would happily babysit for the out of hours as auntie- they've done loads for us including having our dc whilst we went on honeymoon! :)