Childminding Secondary School Age Children

[Tealady]

I realise it's a long way off but something has recently come up from Mum of my Year 5 (10 year old) mindee. I've had him before school since he was in reception. He would come afterschool but I cover another school in the next village, so he is in afterschool club. I occasionally have him in the holidays. He is a lovely lad, still "plays" although sometime he can get stroppy with DD as she is just 8, bright and mature so they are on a par with each other which irks him somewhat as he is oldest!

Mum has always joked that he will be coming to me until he leaves home, especially as he was one of my first mindees and seen the others all come and go. But we were talking last week at the end of a babysitting session and she said that she was intending to still send him once at secondary school both before and after school.

Does anybody have secondary age children and how does it go?

I had thought that between afterschool activities and hanging out with friends he wouldn't need much "Care" as Mum is usually home by 5/5:30pm. He does have anxiety issues which he is overcoming, so I had thought before this conversation that if he was feeling a bit anxious and didn't want to go home to an empty house that he has my number and can then call me if he wants to come back to mine. I would have thought though an year 7 child would not want to be going to a childminder. Me and him are already trying to think of a more appropriate term for when I "Baby"sit him!

[lisa1968]

I've only ever had one secondary school child and it was hard work. We both struggled to be honest. She didn't want to still come to me,and it got to the stage that I didn't want her to come. I find amusing them at that age very difficult.Most of my resources are for children below the age of 11 so keeping her busy was extremely hard-she didn't want to do anything!! So then, because she was bored, she would wind the other children up, or take over their games and sometimes try to play other games that were totally inappropriate around the other children.We were both relieved when mum gave notice!
I care for her younger brother who is due to go into year 7 next september. He has already told me that he'll still be coming to me. I asked why he couldn't stay at home with his sister (who is 15) but he says their Mum won't leave them alone together as she doesn't trust them. This time around, though, won't struggle on. If I feel it's too much for me to have him, then I'll give notice.

[clairer]

I haven't had any secondary school children but I also find the older ones hard work. I have had children age 8 and 10 and they need so much entertaining and are always bored. It's entertaining such wide age gaps that causes a problem.

Good luck x

[sarah707]

I've had them before. I find they come for the first winter - drink, toast, homework, tea, home - then drift off when the nights get lighter and they make friends or go home on their own.

I like having the older ones it's nice to have an older person to chat to sometimes and they can be a great extra pair of hands when doing crafts with the little ones, handing them glue and cutting things up for them...

Clear boundaries help :D

[critch]

I don't like the older ones, they don't want to do anything apart from wind my dd5 and ds5 up, if the older one 8 can't get on the wii then that's it, and I feel like I am always being questioned in my own home and when dd12 cones straight from school to home 1 day a week I am asked why she is allowed lemonade and mindee 8 is not! My mum was here one day thought he was so rude and answered because this is her home and not yours!
Mindee8 also wants to know why he can't play on the grass (that is so muddy as he plays football on it up til now) , hard work, dread every day :-(

[FloraDora]

Both my sons formed such a bond with their childminder who had cared for them since they were16 weeks old, that there was no way they weren't going to continue going to her once they reached high school...they liked the stableness of routine especially in those early days of high school when everything is new ...and she wanted them to continue going because she had a bond with them ( which still exists now and they are in their late 20's) - we had no immediate family local and her family became ours- in fact I am taking her grandchildren out for a treat to the christmas markets and a concert tomorrow with just my husband and I.

There is this myth that 11 yearolds don't need someone to come home to .... They do ....a 6 week holiday and a change of school doesn't mean they are all grown up. If more children continued this bond with their child care I think there would be less children wandering the streets - for no apparant reason at an early influential age...research shows that children who are allowed 'out' when young, become street wise and prone to being influenced by older children........

The problem is...parents who find childcare costly abandon it as soon as high school arrives ...leaving 'latch key kids' to their own devices...which is also showing up in all the bullying through text,twitter,facebook and early age sexting.

Childcare is predominantly aimed at primary children ....so those Year7 and 8's are left.

Like Sarah said ....by the following summer when they are involved with clubs at school and out of school and the need for childcare wains.

Year 7 and 8 children love craft, model making, drawing ,writing and construction, cooking, gardening, listening to music and yes , given the chance will play with dolls in role play situation too.....the world just thinks they should grow up too quickly ....and assumes they only thing they want is TV and computers ...when...if these are not on offer, their creative skills flourish.
As childcare practioners - or friends ...who are being paid to do a job ....when they get to this age we should be finding ways of getting after schoolers interested and motivated, not succumbing to easier options of TV and computer games - which they do a lot of at home. I feel most of the issues of the ' nightmare ' after school children that I read on here could be resolved by preparing their activities with the same focus as we do the EY's.

So, yes I think it is perfectly fine for a year7 child to go to someone they feel secure with's home in the absence of a parent not being at home, after school. If they finish at 3.15 - two hours is a long time to be on your own, especially if your school day hasn't gone so well...and to have someone else around whilst you start your homework is a great reassurance and often self esteem boost.

[JCrakers]

I've had two older children in the past but they had been here for a couple of years so they were used to being here and I knew them well. They did come Sept until about Feb and then Mum let them go home on there own. (4pm-5.15pm)

I've got 3 mindees in Yr 6 who will start Secondary school in Sept and they will probably make their way home to here, arrive about 4pm. They have been coming here for years so it will be fine.

What I don't like doing is taking on older children as they find it harder to settle and get bored, making it harder for me.

[Simona]

I love having the older children...the discussions...their play....the fact they love the young ones and care for them, the games they get up to, their creativity...bored? I have never seen an older child bored in my setting!

I think they do need someone who cares for them outside of their home!!

[JCrakers]

Bored? Was aimed at my post

Well your setting I'm sure is much better than mine then obviously :rolleyes:

[watford wizz]

I have older children who attend and think its a privilege that they still want to come and be part of the minder family. I also have grown up ones who ask advice, call in for a catch up chat it's very special because it's their choice x

[lilac_dragon]

I love having ALL the ages!
I've had loads of children over the last 28 years who have come from the age of 6 months to 16 years - when I have to gently tell them that they HAVE to leave!
I've also had lots who have come from age 5ish when they started school - also staying to 16.
I'm still in touch with most of them, those at Uni still email, text and Facebook message me. 2 of mine are Housesharing at Uni.
I've childminded the children of 4 of them, and am currently childminding one who's Mum was with me years ago.
I've enjoyed the rather more grown up conversations with them and the marathon games of Monopoly at the dinner table after tea. We just pick up the Monopoly board as is, and put it on a giant board ready for the next day, with a named bag each for the money and cards.
Their Homework helps keeps my mind from becoming stale as I'm not just working with little ones. I go from Number Lines, repeating patterns and learning colours to Phonemes and Number Bonds and then onto Chemistry, Physics and Politics. They've always lend a hand if asked, and know that if they wind up a younger one they will be washing up for a week.
We don't have computer games or a Wii etc but we have a shed at the end of the garden which is a Chill Out zone with a table football/air hockey, chairs and table, board games, playing cards etc. - and CCTV to keep tabs on them!!!!!
The advent of the Mobile Phone gave the older ones the freedom to check in with me after school or in holidays to drop off bags and change clothes, and go off as a group - all with very strict rules and permissions from parents. They had to agree to phone in hourly if it's the holidays or at 4.30 if a school night, to ALWAYS answer if I phone to do a spot check- never ever put me on hold or the phone on silent, never to split up, to let me know immediately if they moved from the agreed play area of the day - usually the Sports Field at the High School, the Youth Centre or Cricket Club, to be on time for Tea at 5pm, and to never moan if they go to play football and forgot to do their Homework in time. They all know it's an Abuse It You Lose It situation, and that it would penalise everyone, not just them.
Most go home at 6ish so once Tea is over they don't get to go back out as parents are due, so the dark nights don't cause too much of a problem.

[weedotes]

I realise it's a long way off but something has recently come up from Mum of my Year 5 (10 year old) mindee. I've had him before school since he was in reception. He would come afterschool but I cover another school in the next village, so he is in afterschool club. I occasionally have him in the holidays. He is a lovely lad, still "plays" although sometime he can get stroppy with DD as she is just 8, bright and mature so they are on a par with each other which irks him somewhat as he is oldest!

Mum has always joked that he will be coming to me until he leaves home, especially as he was one of my first mindees and seen the others all come and go. But we were talking last week at the end of a babysitting session and she said that she was intending to still send him once at secondary school both before and after school.

Does anybody have secondary age children and how does it go?

I had thought that between afterschool activities and hanging out with friends he wouldn't need much "Care" as Mum is usually home by 5/5:30pm. He does have anxiety issues which he is overcoming, so I had thought before this conversation that if he was feeling a bit anxious and didn't want to go home to an empty house that he has my number and can then call me if he wants to come back to mine. I would have thought though an year 7 child would not want to be going to a childminder. Me and him are already trying to think of a more appropriate term for when I "Baby"sit him!

I had a lovely girl from she was five and she came til she was 14 .( I still had her wee brother . ) her mum joked that she was only 2 years old when she left home moved 50 miles away to work .
She was no bother , but it helped she was only a little older than my two daughters . She came home from school did homework enjoyed a cuppa and toast and then if she had time played with the wee ones . I didn't charge for minding her but her mum gave me money to cover tea and snacks and maybe a couple of nights I dropped her up to to dancing and met mum there to hand over the wee brother ..giving me an earlier finish .
I trusted her completely and was happy with her to chose what to do and use our front room for quiet study . But this was in the day before mobile phones with Internet etc I d feel now I d need to offer more supervision so it would nt be such an easy option . Her wee brother was a bit disappointed that he was expected to go home with her in his first year at big school but we all agreed that if he'd ever not had a great day he was to get off school bus at ours and mum would collect him .

[teacakepenguin]

This is really interesting as I am minding a year 7 at the moment, I also have his year 3 brother, and they've been coming here for over 2 years now (which is what made me decide to be a childminder - so I could get paid!).

He's lovely to have, but it does help I have a 14 year old myself, and an 11 year old in year 6. Yesterday tho my youngest (reception age) mindee was definitely below par (mum is a teacher who had ofsted visiting so I didn't mind having her at all even though she wasn't really coping all that well!). She was very tearful over lots of silly things, and the year 7 was so gentle and good with her, along with my 8 year old daughter too, between the pair of them I hardly saw the mindee until it was dinner time! He knows though that he can gain time on the computer (minecraft often!) if he does stuff like that, it will not be forgotten by me!

Interesting to hear how people manage the wanting to go out and about. I can see this being an issue in the Spring/Summer.

Jx

[weedotes]

[QUOTE="weedotes;1325777"]

I had a lovely girl from she was five and she came til she was 14 .( I still had her wee brother . ) her mum joked that she was only 2 years older than that when she had left home moved 50 miles away to work .
She was no bother , but it helped she was only a little older than my two daughters . She came home from school did homework enjoyed a cuppa and toast and then if she had time played with the wee ones . I didn't charge for minding her but her mum gave me money to cover tea and snacks and maybe a couple of nights I dropped her up to to dancing and met mum there to hand over the wee brother ..giving me an earlier finish .
I trusted her completely and was happy with her to chose what to do and use our front room for quiet study . But this was in the day before mobile phones with Internet etc I d feel now I d need to offer more supervision so it would nt be such an easy option . Her wee brother was a bit disappointed that he was expected to go home with her in his first year at big school but we all agreed that if he'd ever not had a great day he was to get off school bus at ours and mum would collect him .[/QUOTE
]

[critch]

I've tried everything to get this older child interested, we were doing craft activities and making xmas cards for parents Thursday night, he wandered in asked what we were doing and I asked if he wanted to join in and he said no, then when his brother produced a card for me when she arrived he asked why he hadn't done one, obviously because he wasn't interested in what I had said :-( how do you turn that around then?

[critch]

I've tried everything to get this older child interested, we were doing craft activities and making xmas cards for parents Thursday night, he wandered in asked what we were doing and I asked if he wanted to join in and he said no, then when his brother produced a card for mum when she arrived he asked why he hadn't done one, obviously because he wasn't interested in what I had said :-( how do you turn that around then?:mad:

[FloraDora]

I've tried everything to get this older child interested, we were doing craft activities and making xmas cards for parents Thursday night, he wandered in asked what we were doing and I asked if he wanted to join in and he said no, then when his brother produced a card for mum when she arrived he asked why he hadn't done one, obviously because he wasn't interested in what I had said :-( how do you turn that around then?:mad:


I would have involved him from the beginning in being the design specialist for the settings christmas card production this year. Given him some examples, asked his opinion, just generally involve him and his higher level skills in preparing the Christmas activity for himself and the younger children. In other words, raise his status, give him some responsibility, make him feel he is liked, trusted to help, important because he is older........worked on my relationship with him and tried to overcome my negative thoughts about older, after school children.

[jadavi]

I had an older child who came with her younger sibling. We called her a volunteer as she was so helpful to us. She liked being called that.

[Simona]

Bored? Was aimed at my post

Well your setting I'm sure is much better than mine then obviously :rolleyes:

No Jcrackers ...I assure you the comment was not aimed at anyone in particular and it is not a question of whose setting is better, it is a question of understanding what older children require and what makes them tick??
so maybe we could take a look at Child development which covers 0-19...not sure about the current NVQ but when I did mine we had to study the whole spectrum not just 0-5.

many CMs here have declared they like looking after the older children and I like their suggestions on how they engage with older children....I would also like to raise the matter that in the whole sector CMs are the 'ones' who can care for children of such varied age...no one else does.

Let's s share information without the need to score points...parents read our comments here.

At present the govt is declaring that there is a shortage of 'after school care' lets reflect on how we could do it...I see plenty on nurseries and preschools taking this away from CMs....soon we will be left holding the babies only!!

[Daisy1956]

I have minded several children who have moved on to secondary school over the years. Like Sarah I have found that they still visit during first two terms and as the lighter nights approach and they are more settled at school the visits dwindle. All know they are welcome to visit and the younger ones love their visits they help with home work and are happy to talk about school helping the others that my be going to secondary school soon. I have one at uni that still texts and visits when home.

[teacakepenguin]

At what point do you stop charging to look after these children, it feels mean to charge if they're out with their mates although I know I'm still looking after them.

[lilac_dragon]

At what point do you stop charging to look after these children, it feels mean to charge if they're out with their mates although I know I'm still looking after them.

I don't stop charging for them. They're still my minded children, still in my numbers for my Insurance even when they become old enough to be "over 8's".
They still therefore block me from taking someone else on.

[Tealady]

Thank-you for all your responses. He is a lovely lad and whilst he likes his PS3 at home he happily joins in here or entertains himself. He loves to draw so is quite happy to sit and sketch. He does pitch in with the younger ones and they love it when he helps them with the Brio style train track. He can make really great circuits for them. Oh and paper aeroplanes!

I hope he continues to be happy here. I feel like I have seen him grow up and have helped him through some problems. Mum also likes him coming here as he is her only child and she is a single parent so it gives him a taste of being part of a bigger family.

[Maza]

I think it is lovely that older children can go to childminders as some are just not suited to after school clubs. It must provide great peace of mind for parents of such children.

[charlottenash]

I think to consider it I'd have to have a whole study room to encourage them to do homework in quiet. I don't think I'd cope with them, what if they don't turn up, smell of smoke, are rude and disruptive? It's all very complicated.

[teacakepenguin]

My teenage mindee absolutely doesn't want to do his homework when there's a houseful of people to talk to, he saves his homework for when he gets home.

[JCrakers]

No Jcrackers ...I assure you the comment was not aimed at anyone in particular and it is not a question of whose setting is better, it is a question of understanding what older children require and what makes them tick??
so maybe we could take a look at Child development which covers 0-19...not sure about the current NVQ but when I did mine we had to study the whole spectrum not just 0-5.

many CMs here have declared they like looking after the older children and I like their suggestions on how they engage with older children....I would also like to raise the matter that in the whole sector CMs are the 'ones' who can care for children of such varied age...no one else does.

Let's s share information without the need to score points...parents read our comments here.

At present the govt is declaring that there is a shortage of 'after school care' lets reflect on how we could do it...I see plenty on nurseries and preschools taking this away from CMs....soon we will be left holding the babies only!!

I'm not trying to score points with anyone...I mentioned that NEW older children (11yrs onwards) are more difficult to have. I said they get bored. My existing mindees have grown up here so we all know each other very well, I know what they like and they are comfortable and part of the family so its easier. I've taken on two twin boys aged 11yrs and it was extremely hard work because I didn't have time to get to know then. They came 2 days a week for to hrs after school. I gave them a huge amount of input and asked them what they enjoyed, I bought extra provisions but they just didn't want to be here. They wanted to be out with friends and I couldn't allow them to be and because they were NEW at such an older age I couldn't get them to settle like I would a small child.

I have plenty of older children in my setting and they have all been here for yrs and I know how they tick. I don't enjoy older children as much as smaller children because I 'know my forte'. I don't appreciate posts obviously aimed at me that say BORED? as it came across as a dig!
No one is above anyone here and no one is better than anyone else in the way they do their job.....

[weedotes]

At what point do you stop charging to look after these children, it feels mean to charge if they're out with their mates although I know I'm still looking after them.

I m in NI and we were allowed 3 pre school and 6 under 12 ( this has changed now , info has come in saying if you mind over 12. Year olds ,you must deduct the number from your under 12 s ).
So when I had a young teenager I made a decision not to charge from term after she was 12 when she was not taking up a space , she was a pleasure to have and enjoyed coming and was so happy to have somewhere warm and friendly to come home to but mum and I agreed on a sum to cover food and drinks .
I don't think I could have taken the responsibility of wondering where she was if she had wanted to go out and do her own thing .The boys I have now at almost 8 and almost 10 talk about looking forward to coming here on their own steam when they are at big school . I m going to have to think it over carefully when the time comes but I ll hope to be able to give them the offer to visit whenever they feel the need . Simply because all the families I mind at present have become very friendly and would see that as positive and not have an effect on the care of their children if you see what I mean .

[critch]

I would have involved him from the beginning in being the design specialist for the settings christmas card production this year. Given him some examples, asked his opinion, just generally involve him and his higher level skills in preparing the Christmas activity for himself and the younger children. In other words, raise his status, give him some responsibility, make him feel he is liked, trusted to help, important because he is older........worked on my relationship with him and tried to overcome my negative thoughts about older, after school children.

Believe me I have tried to make him feel important and now focus my efforts on the ones that interact with me, I feel the comments of 'for gods sake' up to 15 times in 2 hours and dirogatory comments against my own children are not nice, I will not be making any more of an effort when I have changed all the menus to accommodate his taste which gives me a choice of 9 meals, which is unfair to the other children who eat a wide variety but to stop him moaning I did it to accommodate him,cereal choices have gone up by 5 additional cereals and he still won't eat anything even though mum advises he eats most :-( p***** off to say the least roll on when he moves school in September

[Simona]

I'm not trying to score points with anyone...I mentioned that NEW older children (11yrs onwards) are more difficult to have. I said they get bored. My existing mindees have grown up here so we all know each other very well, I know what they like and they are comfortable and part of the family so its easier. I've taken on two twin boys aged 11yrs and it was extremely hard work because I didn't have time to get to know then. They came 2 days a week for to hrs after school. I gave them a huge amount of input and asked them what they enjoyed, I bought extra provisions but they just didn't want to be here. They wanted to be out with friends and I couldn't allow them to be and because they were NEW at such an older age I couldn't get them to settle like I would a small child.

I have plenty of older children in my setting and they have all been here for yrs and I know how they tick. I don't enjoy older children as much as smaller children because I 'know my forte'. I don't appreciate posts obviously aimed at me that say BORED? as it came across as a dig!
No one is above anyone here and no one is better than anyone else in the way they do their job.....

JCrackers...I was not referring to you when I said 'bored' I was using the word in general terms of older children' not engaging, not stimulated, not given responsibilities for their age etc etc'
I have already responded that my comment was not aimed at you so now is my apology if you felt I was aiming at you .

We must remember that writing in a forum can be misinterpreted and taken the wrong way!