PDA

View Full Version : Mindee refuses to say thank you!



MrsP2C
29-11-2013, 01:58 PM
Ok so he's only just 2 but he has fantastic vocabulary so that's not the issue - he gives me this naughty look and if I try & prompt him he'll just say "no!". I always make a point of praising good manners but he's quite stubborn & no amount of persuasion will change his mind if he's decided not to do something.

I usually just take away whatever it is he's been given if he won't say thank you but I wonder whether I'm making too big a thing of it & should try not to let it bug me so much. If it is something I should insist upon, any ideas how to tackle this?

FussyElmo
29-11-2013, 02:10 PM
Sounds like my mindee he flatly refused to say thank you and please.

What I decided was not to turn it into a battle of wills. I always say please and thank you and tell the others well done on their manners. Twice this week he has said please. Im winning slowly :thumbsup:

dawn100
29-11-2013, 02:22 PM
I would say to ignore it but really praise anyone who does uses manners. I wouldn't even try and get him to say please or thank you as he's obviously quite stubborn and doesn't want to be told what to do but if someone else says please or thank you I would make a really big point of say how lovely they are for saying please etc and hope he might want to copy and get praised

hectors house
29-11-2013, 03:31 PM
Maybe introduce a song that a mindee taught us - to the tune of Frere a Jacques

"Please and thank you
please and thank you
we must say
we must say
when we ask for something
when we ask for something
every day
every day"

Mouse
29-11-2013, 03:46 PM
Don't fight it...you won't win :laughing:

I think every child I have ever looked after has gone through this stage. I'd hand them their drink, asked "what do you say?", they refuse to say thank you even though I know they can, so I pull the drink away and say "can you say thank you?" They still refuse, so what do you do? Give in & give them their drink, or be as stubborn as them & withhold it? (not really an option).

Over the years I have learnt to ignore it, frustrating as it is. If they don't automatically say "thank you", I still say "what do you say?" If they still don't say it I say "can you say "thank you?" When they still don't say it I say, "well, we'll say it for you. Can everyone say thank you for X?" I then praise the other children for saying it & we carry on. I do find it is a short live stage. It's just the child trying out their free will.

Mrs Scrubbit
29-11-2013, 09:06 PM
Yes you really can't push for a 'thank you ' from the young ones, all you can do is promote its usage and they will soon cotton on and begin to say it too, it will just become a natural habbit xx

MrsP2C
29-11-2013, 10:51 PM
When they still don't say it I say, "well, we'll say it for you. Can everyone say thank you for X?" I then praise the other children for saying it & we carry on. I do find it is a short live stage. It's just the child trying out their free will.

Thanks I love this approach as other mindees (similar age) are brilliant at it & I'll bet he'd want to join in before too long. Definitely need to chill a bit on this one

jadavi
29-11-2013, 11:00 PM
Going to use both methods as I have the same problem. Love the song and the group thank you :)

MrsP2C
06-12-2013, 12:28 AM
Just to update we've had 2 thank yous & a please today

Mrs Scrubbit
06-12-2013, 07:22 PM
Just to update we've had 2 thank yous & a please today  Thank you all so much for the great advice I will definitely keep this going & LO looked so pleased when we all had a clap & cheer for him.

Yay ! :clapping: xx