Minding older children

[mrsb]

I am rubbish at saying no to people so have landed myself in it today:panic: I've never wanted to mind 10yr + aged children, nothing wrong with them but I would find it hard to entertain them, anyway I get a phone call today from a guy who has literally today gained custody of one of his sons via the court, he needs a minder for him and his step son fro mseptember, it's only 2 days a week after school as they are 9 and 11, anyway, the 11 year old goes to high school where I can't pick up as I pick up fo manother school at that time, anyway the dad said the 11 year old would bike to mine from the high school, Is he allowed?

Basically i'm looking for an excuse to get out of it:o

[Spangles]

Ha ha! What are you like!

I think that he can do that although I'd get a permission form signed or something I think or write a note on the contract.

I'm sure there must be some way you can get out of it? I'll try and think of something! (You sound like me, I get myself into pickles like this all the time!)

[Minstrel]

If you did do this then you should get the dad to sign something that says he takes responsibility whilst the boy makes this journey so you would only take over when he actually arrives at your house- with provisions about what to do if he is late etc.
If you don't want to do it though then you can just tell the dad that it isnt allowed due to your insurance!

[sarah707]

I've had lots of older ones who come from the high school.

They walk themselves here - they are parents responsibility while they are arriving, but if they get in a pickle I will help them if I can.

They like finishing homework colouring with little ones, chilling in front of the tv, using the computers etc.

Never had a problem with them tbh ... hope it all works out for you :D

[Pipsqueak]

Why not give it a go? Older kids aren't too bad but I make sure that they know I have to attend to the younger ones first and foremost and that they have to help set a good example. Give them the responsibility and more often than not they rise to it - especially where helping the little ones are concerned.

have you a school age pack - more detailed house rules for the older ones that tells them the rules, responsibilities and expectations, like a minder/child agreement from both parties.

Get the dad to sign a disclaimer about the child arriving independently/on bike.

Don't forget you will have your 4wk cooling off period. I'll bet you'll find that you can manage it.
If its really something you don't want to do I think honesty may well be best policy here and say you feel you cannot meet the commitments required.

[mrsb]

Thanks all :)

I could handle it but I've always wanted my son to be the eldest, not sure why, I know there is reasoning behind it though lol:o :laughing:

The other thing is that I would only have them until 4.30ish so by the time he has arrived at mine he will be here 3/4 an hour max, so once he gets started on something it will be time to stop...

aaaggghhhh I don't know, I should have just said sorry but i'm full:rolleyes:

would it be really really bad of me to text him and apologise profusely but i've had time to think about it am really sorry but can't take the boys on, then maybe give my groups contact number so he can find another minder?

[Pipsqueak]

I think if you are set that you don't want to do it (which I think you are:) ) thats fine - be honest and rather than text, give dad a call. I think I would ring round a couple of minders first though and see if anyone can accomodate so you can give him some direct information.

[PaulaR]

If you don't feel comfortable and it doesn't feel right then you shouldn't do it. It might be more stress than its worth.

[lavenderrose]

I like the idea of a School Age pack, very grown up:), anyone have a copy i could look at? I have minded older children in the past and worked with them on a daily basis in School (TA)
You can talk to them on the same level and they will often love to be around the little ones again, novelty as they may be the "babies" at home