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munch149
20-11-2013, 04:44 PM
As having a chat with a Childrens centre worker and some friends the other day. They were discussing that they couldn't be friends with us on Facebook cos if they saw something on there they didn't like (hitting or something) then it could get very complicated. This got me thinking. All of my mums I have on Facebook as I was friends with them before. I do know things that they probably shouldn't do but I don't see as a bit concern and I guess my question is when do you react

One parent smacks her child for example. I dont see this as abuse just a tap on the hand and wouldn't dream of reporting it but if something did happen and I hadn't reported would I be in trouble.

I'm probably going to get judged now but I will admit that I tried the biting back thing (on my own child) regretted it big time and would never do it again. I felt pressured by my family on every aspect of parenting and I guess it got to the stage where I went against something I believed bit time because of pressure. Should the Childrens centre worker be reporting me for this.

I know this is very difficult area but I guess what I'm just saying is how vulnerable I feel. We get judged on everything we do and can't do right. It's actually got me concerned about parenting friends children and as a parent also realised how open we are to judgement from others.

Guess I should refresh my child protection course for one thing now. Guess I'm just looking for people's opinions on

Being friends with parents
Smacking and when we should react and would we get in trouble for not reporting
Our openness as parents and childminders to being judged and the serious fear of ofsted/social services getting involved for the smallest things

AliceK
20-11-2013, 05:02 PM
As having a chat with a Childrens centre worker and some friends the other day. They were discussing that they couldn't be friends with us on Facebook cos if they saw something on there they didn't like (hitting or something) then it could get very complicated. This got me thinking. All of my mums I have on Facebook as I was friends with them before. I do know things that they probably shouldn't do but I don't see as a bit concern and I guess my question is when do you react

One parent smacks her child for example. I dont see this as abuse just a tap on the hand and wouldn't dream of reporting it but if something did happen and I hadn't reported would I be in trouble.

I'm probably going to get judged now but I will admit that I tried the biting back thing (on my own child) regretted it big time and would never do it again. I felt pressured by my family on every aspect of parenting and I guess it got to the stage where I went against something I believed bit time because of pressure. Should the Childrens centre worker be reporting me for this.

I know this is very difficult area but I guess what I'm just saying is how vulnerable I feel. We get judged on everything we do and can't do right. It's actually got me concerned about parenting friends children and as a parent also realised how open we are to judgement from others.

Guess I should refresh my child protection course for one thing now. Guess I'm just looking for people's opinions on

Being friends with parents
Smacking and when we should react and would we get in trouble for not reporting
Our openness as parents and childminders to being judged and the serious fear of ofsted/social services getting involved for the smallest things

I am friendly with parents but wouldn't be "friends" with them. That's just my preference, I think it would be too easy for the boundaries to become blurred.

I was actually on a training course last night where 2 different staff from social care spoke to us. Smacking whether we as parents / childminders agree with it or not is not illegal but if it leaves a mark / bruise then it is. So if you know a parent smacks it isn't necessarily something you need to report unless it's OTT and leaving a child with marks or unless you have other concerns. They were very open and honest with us and very human and I would feel comfortable to call and speak to them as they advised if I had a concern and they would advise us before we decided whether or not we should be making a referral.

We are very vulnerable to being judged and I am constantly aware of that vulnerability even when I'm not working but after speaking to a member of the referral and assessment team last night and our LADO who talked us through what would happen if an allegation was made against us I am actually a lot less worried about it now.

xxxx

samb
20-11-2013, 06:36 PM
I am friends with some of my parents on Facebook as I was friends with them before I started to care for their child. However I have set up a closed parents group for my parents where they can all keep updated, have photos (with permission of course) and it has been really popular with the families I currently work with. I have had parents request my friendship and I point them in the direction of the group instead. I have wondered if I should delete my friends if I start caring for their children but I haven't as I feel I still want them to be my friend!