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Rickers83
16-11-2013, 10:31 AM
So I rang the mum of the lo who had very high care needs & told her I did not think placement would work due to the level of care required & the other children I already have here. We are still in settling in and not due to start for another 1.5 weeks. I told her I was sorry but had to consider the needs and welbeing of all of the children on my care & that I would refund her deposit.
She basically told me I was singling her child out & was putting her out of work and that I should now pay her bills!!!

I read her the contract she signed stating the settling in conditions & my admission policy stating that places are offered as long as care of one child does not impact the others, but she just kept repeating herself. To the point I had to politely tell her we were going round in circles & I would send her the deposit refund & ended the call.

Feel better now I'm not constantly on edge over whether I'm following her routine properly, but am worried she will run me down to the other mum who goes to her school as they are also fairly new :0/

The Juggler
16-11-2013, 10:36 AM
well done for making the call hon. I think I would follow up with a letter stating that you feel she would have her needs better met in a setting that had fewer other children so her strict routine could be better kept to. You feel unable to do this as to do so would mean the needs of the other children could not then be met.

Maybe offer to help her find a list of local nannies and other childminders - point her in the right direction maybe.

If there was a no notice period in the settling in then you have every right to do this. I might be ever so slightly tempted to offer her an extended settling in period - during which time her LO would have to adapt to the setting routines - just until she can find someone but that's just me.

Rickers83
16-11-2013, 10:47 AM
Thanks for the reply, I have to send her deposit back to her so will put the letter in with that (good idea, thanks).
I've only had the lo when it's been fairly quiet here & not in the mornings when I have all if them plus a school run & it's hard enough then, I know for sure it would be near on impossible when I've got 6 others here doing breakfast as she needs spoon feeding and doesn't arrive until 1/2 hour before we leave! I'm up & down all over the place in the mornings as they are all different ages.

Kiddleywinks
16-11-2013, 10:55 AM
Reassurance - You have definitely done the right thing!

Do not let this mum make you feel guilty about anything - she herself removed the child from a setting that wasn't able to meet her requirements, and she didn't lose her job then did she?!
The whole point of settling in is for parents, child AND minder to make sure that placement is going to work, and to build confidence for all concerned.
In this case, the child's (parental) needs cannot be met and it is in the best interest of the child to be in a setting that meets those needs.


I agree with Juggler, follow up with a letter, and then let it go.

Koala
16-11-2013, 12:32 PM
What a mean woman to say this to you, no matter how frustrated she is - it is wrong and hurtful.

If it were me, I would be thanking you for your honesty.

You have definitely done the right thing and don't worry about other parents - sometimes they can read between the lines of what other parents say, especially if they have already tried another setting before you.

I don't think I would be offering an extended settling in until she finds another setting though - this could be far too stressful but of course you know what is best for you. Juggler is brave! but I agree a letter pointing the right direction and wishing her all the best, but don't apologize for being professional and doing the best for the child, the other children and yourself because you have done nothing wrong.

Good luck :thumbsup: and hope you feel re assured.

The Juggler
16-11-2013, 01:36 PM
What a mean woman to say this to you, no matter how frustrated she is - it is wrong and hurtful.

If it were me, I would be thanking you for your honesty.

You have definitely done the right thing and don't worry about other parents - sometimes they can read between the lines of what other parents say, especially if they have already tried another setting before you.

I don't think I would be offering an extended settling in until she finds another setting though - this could be far too stressful but of course you know what is best for you. Juggler is brave! but I agree a letter pointing the right direction and wishing her all the best, but don't apologize for being professional and doing the best for the child, the other children and yourself because you have done nothing wrong.

Good luck :thumbsup: and hope you feel re assured.


lol my only reason for offering that solution is so she can maybe see that actually her LO CAN cope with changes to the routine and become more flexible if only she would give it a go. That way she might be more relaxed with her new nanny/cm/nursery :laughing:

Leela
16-11-2013, 05:59 PM
The whole point of the settling in period and the first month is to see whether the dynamics and the relationships will work. Sometimes it's the child not fitting in or the adults involved or both. Don't feel guilty or scared, you did the right thing and it sounds like this parent would have been quite difficult. You would have ended up feeling quite tense with this family and you would have stopped enjoying your job. You are doing the best for yourself and the other children. Good luck.

Koala
16-11-2013, 08:02 PM
Hi Rickers

Just re read another post possibly about this one? and I remember reading it first time round and thinking better you than me! :panic:

And as was said then 'run for the hills and don't look back' - You have definitely come to your senses, maybe you could ask mum to come and watch you write your termination notice as it seems she likes to watch your every move ( :laughing: like feeding lo :laughing: )

:mad: BUNNY BOILER ALERT :mad:

clairer
16-11-2013, 09:51 PM
Of course you have done the right thing. You have to trust your instinct and if you felt it was not going to work the parent has to respect your decision.
Would she really want you to look after the child if you felt it was wrong and not working?

I once ended a contract within the settling in period as a baby was not settling and I felt it would effect the other children. I knew I would not cope with 11 hours screaming per day.

Be strong..if it was not working what other choice was there? Honestly is always the best policy.