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View Full Version : help, advice and reassurance needed.



Niki78
14-11-2013, 11:14 AM
Hi all, I look after a nearly 4 year old who is almost potty trained. Has taken a long time but almost there, although regressing again recently. Yesterday the child had 6 accidents in the 7 hours they were with me and at playgroup. 3 in the last 2 hours. I text mum to ask for clean clothes on collection as I had completely run out of anything for the child to wear. Mum phoned me back and said a friend was collecting and child would have to go home as they were.( friend collects often) I suggested to mum I thought child may need to see a doctor to rule out infection or something.

Mums reply what other children do you have tomorrow to take child?
Without thinking of my words I replied well their your child you should really be taking them to the doctors. With that mum said I know that and pretty much out the phone down on me. I know I may have come across a bit harsh but I have been hinting for a week that maybe it's worth getting them checked at doctors. And in hindsight I doubting myself as to whether that's what mum meant but she didn't put me straight and now I've not got child all day today.

What would you have thought being asked that question? And what would you do next week when child returns. I keep replaying the conversation in mymindthinking did I really get it wrong or was the parent expecting me to take their child to the doctors. I thought I had a good rerelationship with the parent but now feel I want to give notice. ( can't afford to do that)

Thanks for taking the time to read my waffle.

The Juggler
15-11-2013, 05:13 PM
ok, for what it's worth you are right to have said that. In the same situation I would have said something similar probably but I guess it's all down to the words we use and the tone we use. Not saying you didn't use the right one but just looking at parent's perspective. And in honesty, she might just be upset that you told her what she was already thinking and knew but she was trying it on.

If it were me now, I'd call her, take a big swallow of my pride and apologise for the misunderstanding and you hadn't meant it to sound like that but point out that you are not able to take children to the GP's for visits and you maybe just came across in the wrong way. Then I'd guauge her reaction and take it from there.

good luck

xx

Tulip
15-11-2013, 05:23 PM
The mum was feeling guilty I think judging by her reaction
Don't worry yourself about it I'm sure she will be back on Monday
Maybe send a friendly text asking if they got on ok at the doctors and leave it at that x

Leela
15-11-2013, 05:53 PM
I don't think that you did anything wrong. You can't always say the exact right thing each time, it actually takes a lot of thinking about. I would not take a child to the dr you are right that is the parents role not the childminders. I agree that rather than worrying about it apologise for any misunderstanding and depending on the reaction you get take it from there. A good tip is not to Redmond too quickly to requests from parents always say you will get back to them and give yourself time to think and then say 'I have thought about your request and I don't think it's appropriate for me to take minded child to dr' etc.

line6
15-11-2013, 06:07 PM
Surely we can't actually take a child to the doctors can we?? I'm new to this so maybe I'm wrong but don't you need parental responsibility to do that? Can't imagine asking a nursery to pop down to the docs with a child! Honestly I think you were right to say what you did. I can't believe anyone would even suggest you may be able to do it. I guess they are feeling guilty but that's really not the point. I'd probably send a quick apology text or email saying didn't mean to come across so harsh and hope it's just a hiccup and nothing wrong with the child. And have a nice weekend see you next week.

KatieFS
16-11-2013, 07:54 AM
I wouldn't be comfortable to take a child to doctors, the doctor will need to know the full history. The child would I am sure prefer their parent
And importantly - isn't this the parents role?
I do think you gave good advice. I agree I'm not sure I could work with this family

k-tots
16-11-2013, 08:03 AM
The parent might of being trying to find out if you are available to go with her as you are with lo during these accidents so can tell the doctor direct :-/...not saying we all need to go with parents and their children to the doctor. ..she might just want the support. Sorry I sound like im coming down on the side of the parent im not im trying to give another angle...

blue bear
16-11-2013, 08:17 AM
Yes you were right to say no if that is how you run your business, it's always best to be straight in my experience. Personally I have taken children to doctors and hospital appointments for various reasons, doctors are not usually worried who takes the child to be honest (I always take a letter from parent dated the date of the specific appointment with contact numbers on) for something like this though that the parents can book around their work I would expect the parent to take them

yummyripples
16-11-2013, 08:21 AM
I have taken children to the Dr's. It's part of the home from home that we offer isn't it?

tas
16-11-2013, 08:30 AM
Sounds like there may have been a bit of misunderstanding on both parts

Id phone parent or send a text/email just to say sorry for any misunderstanding but you were concerned for the child and then go on to ask about the doctors visit :)

Niki78
16-11-2013, 08:59 AM
Thanks guys, I feel a bitter better knowing it's not just me that thought she was asking me to take the child to the doctors. I will text her later and go from there.