Parent not answering texts.....

[Taleasoldastime]

Just wanted some advice/opinions on this situation...

I have had a mindee start just over a month ago (which means they are just out of the settling in period). Everything was fine at first and settled in fairly well given the short time he is with us (4 hours every weds and 4 hours on a fri every other week).

I had a phone call off mum last week on Friday (the week we didn't have him on the Friday) asking about his development, I explained that I would do a full assessment on him when he had been with us longer as I didn't feel I had seen enough from him yet, but i shared some observations I had seen of him so far (I should also say that we send home journals and observations every week so it was all in there too). During this phone call she mentioned that he was crying as soon as he pulled on my road on weds and didn't want to go. His dad was also in the car as he had a day off and was saying he didn't have to go, which made it worse. He was fine though when I had him and played happily, the only time he got upset (and literally screamed in my face :/) was when I gave him snack and lunch, he refused to eat it and cried. Again I found out afterwards this was because when his dad said he didn't have to go to mine, he said he would take him to mcdonalds!!!

Last Wednesday he didn't turn up and I had a voice mail 15 mins after he was meant to be here saying she took him to his nans and she would ring me later. I text saying hope everything is ok and she text back explaining he was hysterical in the car, as he didn't want to come, so she didn't want to bring him. She didn't ring me. Friday, Same again, he didn't turn up and my cominder rang her to see if he was coming - she was short on the phone and obviously didn't realise it was us calling or we don't think she would have answered it, but she said he wasn't coming and again she said she would ring later and didn't. She has paid for this week.

I'm now wondering what to do? I have text her earlier asking if everything is ok etc. but had no reply. The settling in period ended last Thursday, which meant if she had rang me and told me she wasn't sure she wanted him to come anymore then it would have been fine, but the full contract started on the Friday so now I don't know what to do. If she bothered ringing me and talking to me, I think it would be overly harsh telling her we now required notice (4 weeks), but it's irritating me that she is not bothering to get in touch. Also I think her son is happy in our care , he gets on well with our children and other mindees and is normally happy (apart from that one day at eating times), I think he just needs a little bit more time to settle in (should also mention she tried him at a nursery before with us and she took him out as he was not settling)

So what to I do if she doesn't get back in touch, should it just forget about it or do u think I should chase it up?

[littlebears1009]

I would just forget about it tbh. I have a mindee who when i gave notice to because of his constant screaming his mum kept him off for 2 days,she then brought him the week after poorly so i sent him home. I have text last week to see how he was, no reply and have text this weekend to see if he is coming tomorrow, she still has 2.5 weeks left of contract however im not overly bothered and it isnt worth chasing, she seems hard work and fussy just like my parent does. I would rather go unpaid and the child be happy at home with mum than him scream for 8 hrs a day. If dad is telling him he doesnt have to go he is going to create for them in the car, even if he does enjoy coming if he thinks he can be with mum and dad instead he is going to try! X

[Koala]

I too think you are on to a loosing battle. Just let him go, it might be best.

Firstly the hours he attends in themselves imo are not helping and skipping sessions even worse.
Secondly - he is been imo cruelly tormented by driving him to yours with mum and dad - dad saying he can stay with him and he will take him to mcdondalds and then it doesn't happpen
thirdly - as he has been moved from nursery to you because he 'isn't happy' - I dont think he has been given the chance to settle and be happy - do you think mum realises - it might be her that is providing the ammunition for lo to not fit in? - it does sound like she is a bit over powering.

Good luck :thumbsup:

[dawn100]

I'm a little bit confused by exactly when the settling in period finished in relation to him not turning up, you don't seem overly bothered by losing out on the 4 weeks notice - so that's up to you and what's in your contracts and what you want to chase but what I would say is you need to know if he is coming back or not as I think if you have not received notice but you fill his space and then mum sends back child claiming she never ended the contract you would be in breach of contract - hope that makes sense. So in your situation if mum was not replying (not entirely sure how long you have been trying to get in contact with no reply) after a reasonable period of time I would send mum a letter terminating the contract giving the relevant notice with the reason of lack of communication. You have to cover yourself legally you can't just assume she no longer wants a place just because she has not turned up.

[littlebears1009]

I'm a little bit confused by exactly when the settling in period finished in relation to him not turning up, you don't seem overly bothered by losing out on the 4 weeks notice - so that's up to you and what's in your contracts and what you want to chase but what I would say is you need to know if he is coming back or not as I think if you have not received notice but you fill his space and then mum sends back child claiming she never ended the contract you would be in breach of contract - hope that makes sense. So in your situation if mum was not replying (not entirely sure how long you have been trying to get in contact with no reply) after a reasonable period of time I would send mum a letter terminating the contract giving the relevant notice with the reason of lack of communication. You have to cover yourself legally you can't just assume she no longer wants a place just because she has not turned up.

I didnt think of this Dawn! Very wise, you could also mention the outstanding fees for the notice period, you probably wont get them but its no harm in trying!

[hectors house]

I would write to the parents stating that as you have been unable to contact them about whether child is continuing or not that you have decided it is in your best interest to give them 4 weeks written notice - as it is only just outside your settling in period (and the parents don't think he has settled) that you will waive any in lieu of notice fees and the contract is terminated with immediate effect. Goodbye, good ridance!

[clairer]

I agree with Dawn. You need to know where you stand so I would write a letter if he doesn't attend this week. It might be worth chasing the money for the notice period if that is in your contract.

[Taleasoldastime]

Thank you very much for all your replies. I didn't think of it that way dawn, you make a very good point! My other issue is they moved house last Friday (when he was meant to be coming and he didn't) and they haven't told me their new address yet, on the contract on all our paper work is their old address, so they could always say they didn't get it :/

Still no reply btw.

It's really annoying because if she doesn't tell us she's coming, it means we have to wait around for about half an hour to be sure they're not coming and then we are late for rhyme time, which the other children really love, it's so selfish. (This was what happened on Friday until we finally managed to get through to her).

I don't know where we stand with this contract wise either - when do we give up on them coming and just leave? She normally pays us the night before for the week, so if she doesn't pay do we assume we aren't having him and carry on as normal? Can we refuse to work if we haven't been paid for that day?

Tbh, I am not bothered about the 4 weeks notice, it's her lack of communication that's bothering me, it's just selfish and childish. Out of interest, how would I bill her? Do I bill her for the whole 4 weeks, or just the 7 days of none payment (I think this is what it says in the contract, must check) Would I say due to 7 days of none payment and not bringing x, as per contract I will terminate the contract with immediate effect the outstanding balance is y.

[sing-low]

I agree with others - write a letter instead of sending text messages. Always best to have things in writing - then everyone knows where they stand and you are covered legally. Hope you get a nice replacement soon!

[littlebears1009]

Thank you very much for all your replies. I didn't think of it that way dawn, you make a very good point! My other issue is they moved house last Friday (when he was meant to be coming and he didn't) and they haven't told me their new address yet, on the contract on all our paper work is their old address, so they could always say they didn't get it :/

Still no reply btw.

It's really annoying because if she doesn't tell us she's coming, it means we have to wait around for about half an hour to be sure they're not coming and then we are late for rhyme time, which the other children really love, it's so selfish. (This was what happened on Friday until we finally managed to get through to her).

I don't know where we stand with this contract wise either - when do we give up on them coming and just leave? She normally pays us the night before for the week, so if she doesn't pay do we assume we aren't having him and carry on as normal? Can we refuse to work if we haven't been paid for that day?

Tbh, I am not bothered about the 4 weeks notice, it's her lack of communication that's bothering me, it's just selfish and childish. Out of interest, how would I bill her? Do I bill her for the whole 4 weeks, or just the 7 days of none payment (I think this is what it says in the contract, must check) Would I say due to 7 days of none payment and not bringing x, as per contract I will terminate the contract with immediate effect the outstanding balance is y.

I havent had a reply from my parent since last wednesday and ive sent a couple of messages. Since we are already into the notice period i will not wait in for her I will go straight to playgroup from the school run instead of coming back home for him at 9. I think you should do the same, wait until his start time has passed and if she turns up and your not in she'll call you. Then you can tell her you have sent messages and had no response and you are not prepared to wait in and see if she turns up! She could then meet you at rhyme time x

[dawn100]

Do you have an email address that you could send her notice to? If so I would send a termination letter in the post to the address you have (even though you know she has moved it's your only contact address and she might be having her mail forwarded , put your house number and postcode on back of envelope so it can be returned to you if she hasn't set up forwarding) and a copy via email. As regards to waiting in for her I would wait 5 minutes and then carry on with your day, you can't let her actions have a negative impact on the care you provide for others.
Sorry cant offer you advice re your contract as everyone puts different stuff, just have a careful read and ensure the length of notice period etc fits with what you have written in your contracts.

[lizduncan72]

Have you heard anything back from her yet? I wouldn't be waiting in for her for more than 10 minutes after start time, not fair to other children to be late for groups

[gef918]

Which contracts do you use?

There's a section in the Pacey contracts that deals with this:

"The registered childminder may terminate the contract immediately for ....... Failure by the parents/guardians to show up for .................. days in a row without any communication"