View Full Version : "Odd" child

24-10-2013, 11:07 PM
I have a minded child who there is def something odd about him. He is 4 and just started primary school, and has been with me since March. None of the EYFS obs are highlighting a prob. He's bright, friendly and confident. However his speech is quite babyish, he cannot take on board instructions and I have to tell him several times before he can process the info and will cock his head to one as if waiting for the info to connect. His body language is quite random and jerky and is struggling to make friends. I have dicussed him with my paperwork lady who suggested I ask his teacher for info on what they are doing in class and see if by communicating with her something is highlighted. So far we have discussed him and she thinks he's wonderful, bright and imaginative, but to quote her "not on the same wavelength". I just have a feeling and i'm not on my own. My daughter who is a trained primary teacher and a fellow minder also thinks there is something odd. What should I do?

25-10-2013, 07:11 AM
This describes a child who has just left me yesterday after 3 years to a tee. His balance and coordination were all over the place, movements were not fluid or smooth.....he did talk a lot and seemed a bit hyperactive too.....but also just 'different' from other children. The primary school teacher won't tell you of any concerns I don't think, also he has only just started school so they will need time to observe him. They will talk to parents at parents evening as a first starting point rather than you I think.

I asked my development worker how to record things as I felt he could run, jump etc but the way he did things were not done smoothly etc and she said in the 30-50 month pd section there is the word skilfully in the wording so it would be beginning to fall behind in that as he is not doing them skilfully.

Also I signposted parents to HV on many occasions but they did not feel there was anything wrong, it is worth if you can saying to mum that you had a slight concern about their balance for example and maybe its worth seeing a HV as they may want to do a hearing check......in the hope that once a HV sees them they will spot the differences or in your littles ones case maybe say you are a little concerned about their hearing and maybe have a hearing check, could have blocked ears and you are not sure if they are understanding all you say.

As parents didnt want to acknowledge issues I stopped worrying, did what I could for him and he made great progress and then in his final leaving assessment I did write that I had advised that he see a HV regarding his balance and coordination. There was nothing more I could do and also ultimately I am sure it will get picked up at nursery and school. I once went to a toddler group and I heard a woman say when she saw him doing something, 'well there is a child with severe dyspraxia' and it turned out she was a SEN in a school, so if someone can spot it just by looking at him then I am sure it will be picked up.....

hectors house
25-10-2013, 08:33 AM
I think I read somewhere that 2 year olds can seem particularly annoying when they ask you a question, you give them an answer and then they immediately ask exactly the same question - this is like you say they can't immediately process the information - but I would have thought that a child of 4 should have moved on past this stage of taking several times of asking or telling before he understands or responds.

I guess all you can do is try to establish a good working relationship with the school - if they don't want to give you information ask for a meeting so you can tell them your worries about this child.

I recently went to the hospital to talk to my daughter's consultant but as my daughter is 18 the nurse said the consultant wasn't allowed to speak to me as daughter wasn't with me to give permission, I said that was ok - could she just "listen" to what I had to say and report back to the consultant, I didn't need him to give me any confidential information, I just wanted to give him some background information as an upset, concerned parent. He then rang me later, my daughter gave him permission to speak to me and I managed to persuade him to bring forward certain scans to put our minds at rest.

25-10-2013, 03:58 PM
Thanks guys as ever. It's a few things contributing and a general feeling something is not right. He is an only child and his parents dote on him so I don't feel I can easily highlight issues with them without some more evidence. I will just continue to work with the teacher and see what evolves. :) xx

jackie 7
25-10-2013, 04:16 PM
I often find boys have difficulty with these tasks. If they had another year to mature they might be ready to learn.

25-10-2013, 07:08 PM
Just keep noting things down which aren't quite matching up to the eyfs or you feel are not normal behaviour patterns for his age, as the stages get longer and the skills required more detailed you may notice him not meeting his goals. At least then you have evidence for the school support worker, HV and mum and dad. which will all help a diagnosis. Whatever that may be. Keep in mind dyslexia and dyspraxia (they often go hand in hand, and he def shows signs of both from what you've said) More common in boys and preemies. Even the babyish high pitched voice fits the criteria. Sadly I've just had the conversation with my best friend, Over the last year she has begun to show more signs. But I wasn't sure how much was because she was a preemie. I couldn't wait any longer for school to do it and I felt her lovely daughter was beginning to need more intervention and help. I really, really didn't want to, its was an awful thing to do and to be told by your best friend that your baby (she's 9 now!) needs support. But mum was beginning to call her clumsy and school losing patience. Worst thing is that when mum approached school-they said 'hmm, yes, probably, she has lots of the signs... Well why the heck didn't they raise it then?! Grr.

25-10-2013, 07:16 PM
I think you need to talk to the mum. If the teacher was to say something and mention you had spoken to her about him. The trust you have will be broken :(

Honestly it does sound a lot like dyspraxia describes my son to a tee except the speech my son struggled. It took a lot of shouting to get the diagnosis.

It will not be an easy conversation but one you have to make :thumbsup:

25-10-2013, 07:19 PM
I often find boys have difficulty with these tasks. If they had another year to mature they might be ready to learn.

That's a very generalising statement! Not all kids are the same so why should boys be labeled ?

25-10-2013, 09:02 PM
I think I would continue to observe and maybe do a little reading on special educational needs.
Then if still concerned maybe speak to the parents about the things you have noticed. Direct them to a health visitor/doctor.

The teachers shouldn't be approached without parents written permission for you to discuss your concerns about the child.