View Full Version : Settling in

19-10-2013, 08:21 PM
Hi all, wonder if someone can advise me

10 month lo

Settling in
2 x 1 hr sessions week 1
2 x 2 hr sessions week 2

Then week 3
Tue 9-12
Wed 9-3
Thu 9-3.45 (nightmare day unsettled all day)
Fri 9-1

Conversations with parents as child unsettled for part of all days and then parents changed hours to the following due to Thursday of week 3

Then week 4
Tue-thu 9-12
Fri 9-2
Child been better tue-thu but Friday from 12.30-2 had to hold and walk constantly (difficult when you have others to sort out)

Lo also 'attacks' pulling and biting all other lo's and after schoolers to the point where you can see the look of horror in their faces, any ideas where to go next with settling in as I feel I am constantly guarding the other children and I can't leave the room due to screaming by lo that is unsettled or constant whining/winge even if she is sat on my knee I'm playing on floor with her, jumperoo, walker, buggy etc still will not stop?

I just do not know what to try next, she doesn't really have a comforter either that she recognises!

20-10-2013, 04:45 PM
Has anyone got any ideas for the below?

20-10-2013, 06:16 PM
Unfortunately I have found that there is no magic formula for settling in. What you have done sounds pretty text book tbh. Unfortunately (again) little un is at the height of separation anxiety which in my experience is a nightmare. Speak to parents about your routine and how you are dealing with him. Ask them to follow your routine as close as possible as this is what he will be doing 4 days a week and because you have more than one child he needs to adapt to you. Also if they are picking him up all the time it's not good - he needs to get used to being one of 3 rather than centre of the universe.
You can also help by understanding that he is upset so keep reassuring him by soft talking, checking he is not tired and just basically doing what you can without neglecting the others. You also need to be firm with him if he is hurting the others. Do the parents rough play with him? If so it's worth talking to them and explaining it's not helping matters.
You need to work with the parents to ensure that he settles in and hard as it might be for them they may have to change some things to enable him to settle in x

20-10-2013, 06:48 PM
I have asimilar problem. Child 12 months has now been with me 8 weeks and only showed improvement last week. I would say you could try getting parents to bring their favourite toy to your house. I found my mindee is settled when eating so Ilet him have toast at mine in the morning rather than at his house and snacks in between lunch etc. It helps break up the day abit.

20-10-2013, 07:16 PM
I'd say routine, routine, routine! Also being mindful of meeting the needs that may get lost in the constant wingeing: hunger, tired etc, and again I find these are best managed through following a routine! I'd wager the aggression will ease when he is more settled. Good luck, I suspect you may be in for a bit of a battle!

20-10-2013, 07:23 PM
I have found three distinct stages of settling in. Often ok to start with, they are quite curious as to their new surroundings and don't really understand what's going on. Then they know what's going on, that mum won't be back until later. Then after getting to know you, your children and routine, they accept where they are and are happy with you. It won't happen overnight. One of my LOs who started in August is only really now totally happy coming here