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View Full Version : Swapping mindees days...ANGER!



AdeleMarie88
15-10-2013, 01:47 PM
I don't know if anyone else does this, but when I first started out last year, I had three mindees, 4 days a week, and I always had Friday as a flexi day and often parents swapped their days around rather than me charging them extra for when they needed a Friday.

Now however, I have got 6 children on my register 5 days a week so I can no longer offer my original parents this flexibility. I updated their policies reflecting this change in my practice, which they all signed!

Now with the upcoming half term they have asked each other, without consulting me, if they can swap nearly every day, and today I got an email practically telling me this is what they are doing. I am furious, not just at them,but at myself also for ever allowing this kind of flexibility. I feel so annoyed I wanted to consult you guys in case I am flying off the handle a little bit.

Am I within my rights to refuse, bearing in mind they signed the updated policies, stating that they agreed to stick to their contracted days a week, any any change would be counted as extra, and therefore charged the full hourly rate. As they have gone behind my back I sort of feel if I refuse I will end up not being paid at all! It's so infuriating, the moms are all best friends, and I feel as if they are dictating to me how this should be, I would like to know I am not in the wrong in case they do chose to look elsewhere for childcare!

unalindura77
15-10-2013, 01:53 PM
No way Jose!

Remind them of what's in the contract and let them know any changes need to be agreed in ADVANCE and with your consent.

It's not ok!

dawnn93
15-10-2013, 01:58 PM
That's terrible think the parents need to realise its your business and to go behind your back is frustrating as they have agreed to new contracts.
Personally I would sit the parents down 1 at a time and discuss their contract if their happy to sign previously I don't see what the issue is
Hope u get it sorted x

Koala
15-10-2013, 02:17 PM
I agree with everything that has been said but you are in a very unusual situation in that the parents are all good friends and basically have stitched you up.

I would be infuriated as you are.
without sounding awkward and causing problems it would be easier to accept what they have done, but if you do it now, you are allowing them to do it in future, not good imo.
Cheeky mares the more i think about it the more unacceptable it is.

I think I would have to write them all a letter stating categorically - NO to what they have done behind your back and that all changes to their hours will only be considered if they approached you directly, tell them this whilst you are handing them the letters individually. after all it is your business and your rules and responsibility to make sure your setting runs smoothly.

If there is any back flack ask them how they would like it if you changed the agreement you had with them without consulting them? Fancy if you decided you didn't want to look after one of theirs one day and told them they could come on another day because it was more convenient for you!!! stick that in their pipe and smoke it. OMG it never ceases to amaze me what folk will do!!

sing-low
15-10-2013, 02:26 PM
Are you cross about the changes or cross because they have assumed that they can do this without paying extra?

singingcactus
15-10-2013, 03:10 PM
In defence of the parents, I'm sure they haven't intended to be devious about it. They've just tried to sort everything out to their benefit not realising it will impact on you, possibly not even considering how it affects you.

However, GRRRR. Very, very annoying. I plan my days and activities by knowing what children I have. Certain children I do not take certain places, certain children I do not do certain things with. I would be very cross to have plans screwed around with like that, cos I have already made my half term plans. 2 days I can't do too much cos of the pram, but the other 3 days I am doing big outdoor stuff, because I have no pram and one of my toddlers who cannot cope with this much activity is not here those days. If the parents got together and tried to re-arrange my days without including me in the conversation I WOULD dig my heals in. I would.
I get that there is probably a level of innocence in this situation (trusting soul that I am) so maybe, maybe if it didn't impact too much I would say okay this time but have them include me in the conversation next time. But if it was going to screw up my plans I would just say no. Plain and simple, sorry that doesn't work for me. If you'd discussed this with me earlier then I might have been able to accomodate your changes, but as it stands it is all too late, sorry. (You don't actually have to feel sorry to say sorry, it just helps move conversations along sometimes).

hectors house
15-10-2013, 03:39 PM
Point out to them that actually you are self employed, you make the rules not them - think they are getting muddled and think they have you on a Nanny share basis!

AdeleMarie88
15-10-2013, 04:24 PM
Are you cross about the changes or cross because they have assumed that they can do this without paying extra?

I cross about them going behind my back, it's not so much about the money, more about the fact it is my business and I run it in a way that they agreed to be apart of...I think I am going to tell them all when they arrive in the morning! Not happy I wish to stick to the rules because exceptions cannot be made every time. I'm glad I wasn't getting annoyed unnecessarily! X

AdeleMarie88
15-10-2013, 04:24 PM
Thanks for all your feedback! I like my parents to have a say, but not try run it and make my decisions! X

sarah707
15-10-2013, 05:11 PM
I do everything I can to be as flexible as possible for parents. I see it as part of the service I provide to be there when they need me if I can.

I offer extra hours and days if I have them free - but they pay me for their booked sessions first - any extras are charged at my normal daily or hourly rate.

Is that a helpful way of looking at it? Maybe have a chat with them I suppose at the end of the day it depends on how much you want their business because they will likely go elsewhere if you cause too much of a flap :(

Hugs xx

Mouse
15-10-2013, 06:46 PM
I think it's difficult as you've allowed them to swap days before. Even though they've signed contracts saying they agree to your changes, it doesn't sound like it's registered what that actually means. It sounds like they know they can't swap places due to you not having the free day available, but don't see a problem if they can free up a day by swapping with someone else.
It doesn't sound sneaky to me, it sounds as if they're working to what they think are your new rules.

But I can see why it would annoy you!

I would write a letter to all the parents involved, explaining what your new terms actually mean. Then decide what you will offer them - it might be that they can't swap days at all, it might be that they can swap days, but only arranged through you or it might be that it works out OK if they sort it out among themselves.

blue bear
15-10-2013, 06:56 PM
So I'm taking it that little johnny comes Monday to Thursday and has swapped his thursday with little Amy and so on?

So it is all sorted you are working the same hours but chikdren have swapped days?

I see this as you have two choices

1) you refuse

2) you say yeas that is very good glad you have sorted it put but please bear in mind as you are requesting an extra day and little johnny will be here Friday it's £x extra,

If all six have swapped thats six extra days pay.

Bet they won't do it again.

AdeleMarie88
15-10-2013, 07:10 PM
So I'm taking it that little johnny comes Monday to Thursday and has swapped his thursday with little Amy and so on? So it is all sorted you are working the same hours but chikdren have swapped days? I see this as you have two choices 1) you refuse 2) you say yeas that is very good glad you have sorted it put but please bear in mind as you are requesting an extra day and little johnny will be here Friday it's £x extra, If all six have swapped thats six extra days pay. Bet they won't do it again.

Yes that's exactly right.

It's not the money, they have swapped days but they are still all fulfilling their normal hours, but in our contract I specifically state days and not hours. It's not so much the swapping, it's the discussing it amongst themselves, and then me receiving an email telling me what they plan to do. It's my buisness, it doesn't work that way, and that's what has annoyed me.

I have asked them all to be at my house for half8 tomorrow so I can tell them I am not happy with these discussions, and plans should go through me, in accordance with our contracts, I can refuse to swap. I had made plans to do different trips and on the days, and now they have made their own plans, it will make trips difficult, especially with transport and buggies. I am fairly young aswell, despite my 8years experience of childcare, I have only been a childminder for 18months, and I'm 25, so I think they like to tell me what they expect, as opposed to me running it my way! It's very frustrating :(

rickysmiths
15-10-2013, 08:18 PM
If I know that parents may need different hours/days like in the holidays, I give them a booking form to fill in and any additional days are paid for at the time of booking and are not refundable if they are then not used. I give this form out and ask for it to be returned 4 weeks before the time the different days/hours are needed.

I think if I were you I would go through what they have all arranged, I would work out any additional charges according to individual contracts and tomorrow morning I would have a booking form for each of them for the hours they have requested and ask them to sign them and return them to you by tomorrow night with any payment and then you will sign them confirming them and as a receipt for payment.

Then amend your Policy to requiring a booking or change of hours/days in holidays to be booked and paid for in advance.

The other point I would make very clear is that you had already planned activities for the half term week and bought resources and planned days out etc and now you will have to spend extra time amending this which is why in future 4 weeks will be needed so you can plan and only once.

AdeleMarie88
16-10-2013, 11:00 AM
Update: spoke to parents all together this morning, I explained exactly why the days are set out like they are, having certain mindees on certain days so it makes the school run, that I do three days a week, manageable with the other ages. I also said it is my business, and I want to run it a certain way, therefore swapping days it's ultimately my decision not there's, and having the discussions and then emailing me telling me what they are doing is just not fair.

I pointed out the agreement, gave them fresh photocopies of the document they all signed, which they should have at home but they clearly didn't read it, and said that they can have two choices, either stick to original arrangement and half term trips can go ahead as planned, or just this once we swap days, but this will mean children miss out on the aquarium, transport museum, and butterfly farm, so they are thinking about it and will get back to me this evening. It's honestly like dealing with two year olds sometimes!

I reminded them that I do know hat I am doing, and I have organised myself to make everyone's life easier, so there will be no more swapping!x

smurfette
16-10-2013, 11:06 AM
Update: spoke to parents all together this morning, I explained exactly why the days are set out like they are, having certain mindees on certain days so it makes the school run, that I do three days a week, manageable with the other ages. I also said it is my business, and I want to run it a certain way, therefore swapping days it's ultimately my decision not there's, and having the discussions and then emailing me telling me what they are doing is just not fair.

I pointed out the agreement, gave them fresh photocopies of the document they all signed, which they should have at home but they clearly didn't read it, and said that they can have two choices, either stick to original arrangement and half term trips can go ahead as planned, or just this once we swap days, but this will mean children miss out on the aquarium, transport museum, and butterfly farm, so they are thinking about it and will get back to me this evening. It's honestly like dealing with two year olds sometimes!

I reminded them that I do know hat I am doing, and I have organised myself to make everyone's life easier, so there will be no more swapping!x

Woohoo you go girl!! That took some of the hairy dangly things not sure i could do it!!!

AdeleMarie88
16-10-2013, 11:09 AM
Update: spoke to parents all together this morning, I explained exactly why the days are set out like they are, having certain mindees on certain days so it makes the school run, that I do three days a week, manageable with the other ages. I also said it is my business, and I want to run it a certain way, therefore swapping days it's ultimately my decision not there's, and having the discussions and then emailing me telling me what they are doing is just not fair.

I pointed out the agreement, gave them fresh photocopies of the document they all signed, which they should have at home but they clearly didn't read it, and said that they can have two choices, either stick to original arrangement and half term trips can go ahead as planned, or just this once we swap days, but this will mean children miss out on the aquarium, transport museum, and butterfly farm, so they are thinking about it and will get back to me this evening. It's honestly like dealing with two year olds sometimes!

I reminded them that I do know hat I am doing, and I have organised myself to make everyone's life easier, so there will be no more swapping!x

cathtee
16-10-2013, 01:24 PM
Well done Adele I know where to come if my parents get out of hand, I can do it in my head but can't find the courage to deliver.

blue bear
16-10-2013, 04:27 PM
Well done, glad you nipped it in the bud, these things can run and get out of hand.

AliceK
16-10-2013, 04:39 PM
Well done you :thumbsup:

xxxx

sing-low
16-10-2013, 05:16 PM
Good for you! Hope that's the last of this nonsense.

k1rstie
16-10-2013, 05:40 PM
In the parents defence, playing devils advocate, after my first child I worked for a supermarket 3 days per week. This was over 10 years ago.

There were one or two occasions that I needed to swap my days. Just invoiced at end of month as normal. It was fine I was told

The next time I asked, my childminder replied of ourselves I could swap, but I would have to pay for the day she I'd not attend plus the extra day.
I earnt peanuts, and my wages only just covered the normal fees.

All these years later, I can still remember being upset by it, and although I could see her point, I thought it was unfair.

This was before the Internet, Ofsted or netmums, so I had no one to discuss it with.


I still remember my feelings as that parent all those years ago, and now run my business how I would have liked to be treated.



BUT I an see also why you are upset as its half term week

AdeleMarie88
17-10-2013, 10:53 AM
In the parents defence, playing devils advocate, after my first child I worked for a supermarket 3 days per week. This was over 10 years ago. There were one or two occasions that I needed to swap my days. Just invoiced at end of month as normal. It was fine I was told The next time I asked, my childminder replied of ourselves I could swap, but I would have to pay for the day she I'd not attend plus the extra day. I earnt peanuts, and my wages only just covered the normal fees. All these years later, I can still remember being upset by it, and although I could see her point, I thought it was unfair. This was before the Internet, Ofsted or netmums, so I had no one to discuss it with. I still remember my feelings as that parent all those years ago, and now run my business how I would have liked to be treated. BUT I an see also why you are upset as its half term week

I understand, and to be honest I don't charge extra to punish them, it's more about me standing my ground and asserting myself to them, so they understand it is my business. We have had several issues over 18months where they try to chose the children I take on and tell me how to do this and that, and in this case I really felt like I had to say butt out. It really wasn't about earning more money. And I know my parents, and money isn't an issue for them anyway...they are just very demanding, and by threatening a charge I was hoping it would mean they didn't try and interfere in the running of my set up...it's all worked out for the best now, everyone is clear and it won't happen again. X