rant rant rant..................soft parents

[ziggy]

What a start to the day, I could scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mummy turns up with 2 boys (eldest one has 5th birthday today). She's been up all night with baby and is on verge of tears. 3yr old opens lunch box and sits up to table and eats all his lunch at 8am!!!! 5yr old touching everything he shouldnt, then pulls baby's leg so hard makes him cry. She is asking my advice on baby and should she take him to doctor (baby has slight cold, nothing more)

then as she leaves 5yr old runs out of back door in front of her, out to car in drive way. By this point I'm fed up of her not taking control so stay inside with 3yr old. As I'm unpacking food etc the 3yr old ran outside to her as well. Instead of being firm and telling them that is dangerous she just waffled on a lot of nonsense about how much she loves them etc etc etc.

I felt like saying something about safety but there is no point.

Anyway no point to this thread, I am just really angry and needed to rant:angry::angry::angry:

[smurfette]

What a start to the day, I could scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mummy turns up with 2 boys (eldest one has 5th birthday today). She's been up all night with baby and is on verge of tears. 3yr old opens lunch box and sits up to table and eats all his lunch at 8am!!!! 5yr old touching everything he shouldnt, then pulls baby's leg so hard makes him cry. She is asking my advice on baby and should she take him to doctor (baby has slight cold, nothing more)

then as she leaves 5yr old runs out of back door in front of her, out to car in drive way. By this point I'm fed up of her not taking control so stay inside with 3yr old. As I'm unpacking food etc the 3yr old ran outside to her as well. Instead of being firm and telling them that is dangerous she just waffled on a lot of nonsense about how much she loves them etc etc etc.

I felt like saying something about safety but there is no point.

Anyway no point to this thread, I am just really angry and needed to rant:angry::angry::angry:

Oh Ziggy what a start to the day! I remember you posting about these boys before, poor baby having his legs pulled all the time! Suppose they were wired due to the bday but that doesn't excuse mum letting them run out to the road! Hugs hope your day improves xx

[ziggy]

thanks

she is older mum who struggled to have the children, so they are very precious to her BUT her method of parenting drives me insane!!!!!! Still just gotta grin and bear it as she wont change.

Thankfully when she's not here I dont have a problem with them

[Mouse]

Frustrating, isn't it?

My mindees soon get to know that once they're through the front gate, I'm in charge! Luckily none of them would ever dare run back outside again!

[ziggy]

oh my word, just had phone call from another mummy to say he got off school bus and wouldnt go into school, he stood by gate and this mummy had to go in to tell his teacher. Parents were concerned he was going to get ran over as it is small village school and parents drive into small front playground.

so do i tell his mummy or leave school to deal with it?

[hectors house]

Hope your day improves - I have had lots of older mums (seems strange that they are same age or older than me and they have toddlers and I have a grandchild), most of them seem easy going but did have one lot of parents who were incredible soft with son - it would take BOTH of them until 9 pm to read about 50 bedtime stories and get him settled in bed - by that time they only had time to eat beans on toast for tea, as too late to cook anything else!

[dawn100]

I have a mindee who when parents are here just plays up no end and I fear he will have an accident so I try to make drop off and collections as snappy as possible - easier said than done. They are always asking for advice because he plays up so much but don't really listen to anything I say as they are convinced they're really strict when in fact they are push overs!

I dread the drop off and collection and could rant most days, it doesn't make for much fun does it!

[Mouse]

oh my word, just had phone call from another mummy to say he got off school bus and wouldnt go into school, he stood by gate and this mummy had to go in to tell his teacher. Parents were concerned he was going to get ran over as it is small village school and parents drive into small front playground.

so do i tell his mummy or leave school to deal with it?

I think you need to be very clear on who has responsibility for him once he has left your care. Mum passes responsibility to you when she drops him off with you, but who does it pass to once he's on the school bus? You need to find out if it stays with you until he is at school, if it passes to school once he is on the bus, or if it remains with parents until he is in school.

I would get together with mum & school to sort it out. I would also be contacting my insurance company to see who has responsibility & when. I know things are different for you with no Ofsted etc, but you do need to have it very clear.

[ziggy]

I think you need to be very clear on who has responsibility for him once he has left your care. Mum passes responsibility to you when she drops him off with you, but who does it pass to once he's on the school bus? You need to find out if it stays with you until he is at school, if it passes to school once he is on the bus, or if it remains with parents until he is in school.

I would get together with mum & school to sort it out. I would also be contacting my insurance company to see who has responsibility & when. I know things are different for you with no Ofsted etc, but you do need to have it very clear.

Thank you, you have a very valid point, I hadnt thought of this. Will chat to her tonight but then will have to tell her this other parent called me, oh dear why cant life be easy lol

[ziggy]

I think you need to be very clear on who has responsibility for him once he has left your care. Mum passes responsibility to you when she drops him off with you, but who does it pass to once he's on the school bus? You need to find out if it stays with you until he is at school, if it passes to school once he is on the bus, or if it remains with parents until he is in school.

I would get together with mum & school to sort it out. I would also be contacting my insurance company to see who has responsibility & when. I know things are different for you with no Ofsted etc, but you do need to have it very clear.

Just spoken to morton michel and he is only my responsibility until i put him on bus. My attendance register says i have him 8 till 8.50 (time bus comes) then 3.10 till 5, mum signs this each week.

Thankyou for pointing that out, glad i phoned to check.

Think I will tell Mummy that i phoned to check then problem is hers

[Mouse]

Just spoken to morton michel and he is only my responsibility until i put him on bus. My attendance register says i have him 8 till 8.50 (time bus comes) then 3.10 till 5, mum signs this each week.

Thankyou for pointing that out, glad i phoned to check.

Think I will tell Mummy that i phoned to check then problem is hers

Glad you phoned to check. At least it puts your mind at rest a bit.
I would let mum AND school know that you have checked it with your insurance company and that they need to sort out any issues between them. Also tell mum that another parent has phoned you and that she needs to get an action plan in place with school. If it was my child I'd want to know school were ready at the other end to deal with any tantrums he may have. It shouldn't be left to other parents to sort him out.

[ziggy]

Glad you phoned to check. At least it puts your mind at rest a bit.
I would let mum AND school know that you have checked it with your insurance company and that they need to sort out any issues between them. Also tell mum that another parent has phoned you and that she needs to get an action plan in place with school. If it was my child I'd want to know school were ready at the other end to deal with any tantrums he may have. It shouldn't be left to other parents to sort him out.

yes I agree. will talk to her this evening.

[Ripeberry]

If you are not with the child and the parent isn't then its the school who have to deal with the child. Our village school has lots of taxis dropping off kids and a teacher meets each child as they arrive.

[ziggy]

As mentioned in other thread had chat with mummy. Told her to speak to other mummy to find out exactly what happened when he got off bus, also explained that I had rang insurance to see if I was responsible. She immediately said she didnt see me being responsible for him once I put him on bus and feels it is school's job to make sure children get into building safely.

In front of her I had stern talk with child about doing as he is told and going straight into school each morning.

Also said only adults open/unlock gate and no child is allowed out without an adult.

He then bit his younger brother, refused to put shoes on, refused to say where he had hidden his coat, kept shouting No to his mummy, tried to unlock gate!!!! pinched his baby brother's feet

ah well tomorrow is another day lol

Had to smile at fact baby was still in pj's with no socks on even though she took him to doctors this morning and was given steroids for him. They had been into town shopping like that.

Maybe i am fighting a losing battle and should just let it go over my head and just buy more wine for the end of each day:laughing::laughing::laughing:

[smurfette]

As mentioned in other thread had chat with mummy. Told her to speak to other mummy to find out exactly what happened when he got off bus, also explained that I had rang insurance to see if I was responsible. She immediately said she didnt see me being responsible for him once I put him on bus and feels it is school's job to make sure children get into building safely.

In front of her I had stern talk with child about doing as he is told and going straight into school each morning.

Also said only adults open/unlock gate and no child is allowed out without an adult.

He then bit his younger brother, refused to put shoes on, refused to say where he had hidden his coat, kept shouting No to his mummy, tried to unlock gate!!!! pinched his baby brother's feet

ah well tomorrow is another day lol

Had to smile at fact baby was still in pj's with no socks on even though she took him to doctors this morning and was given steroids for him. They had been into town shopping like that.

Maybe i am fighting a losing battle and should just let it go over my head and just buy more wine for the end of each day:laughing::laughing::laughing:

Definitely more wine!!! Sounds like you have done all you can and its falling on deaf ears! So long as you know when you are responsible and aren't And he is good when in your care I think I would try and let it wash over me xx

[dawnn93]

Relax and have a wee glass of wine (when kids are gone ;-) )
Parents should have stern words about safety when they do this sort of thing

Good luck next time

[Mouse]

Poor mum! I do feel a bit sorry for her. It sounds as if she is really struggling to cope with all 3 children.

Could you suggest she speaks to someone at school about her son's behaviour? What about a school nurse? It sounds like she needs a lot more support than she is getting.

There's only so much you can do in the short time you have the children, especially if mum isn't really doing much to help, so point her in the direction of support & crack open the wine :thumbsup:

[hectors house]

Hope tomorrow is a better day - surely the school is responsible to ensuring children get off the bus and in through the gates safely. I once had another parent tell me at the bus stop that my mindee had bitten her son at school and I told her that until he stepped off the bus he wasn't my responsibility - another time this mindee (aged 5) decided to get off the bus on the way home, 4 stops early (1/2 mile away) and go to visit his grandad - I was horrified to find he wasn't on the bus but luckily the driver remembered where he got off. Children couldn't get off until they got to school, but it wasn't supervised on the way home - I can't believe now that I put my own children on this bus when they started in Reception - they had to get on bus, pay for a weekly ticket and not lose it all week!

[ziggy]

thanks for support

Not sure it's a case of mummy needing support think it's more a case of realising 3 boys need a bit of discipline. She is a teacher herself.

anyway she came in this morning not looking too happy. Said she had stern talk with child. Both boys stepped back out of door in rain and she immediately told them to come back in, which they did!!! Apparently she talked to 5yr old for over 30mins this morning about importance of going straight into school.

I guess by friday we will be back to her usual ways but heyho at least this time she took on board what I said.

She is going to contact school today as well

[Mouse]

At least you know you've done all you can.

Maybe mum will see that being strict & in control actually makes life easier for everyone :rolleyes:

[angeldelight]

All that and not even 9 o clock Ziggy :laughing:

Poor you

Your day really can only get better now

Angel xxx

[jackie 7]

I hope you have a strong cup of coffee on the go. Why do these soft and sappy mums not realise that children and boys in particular need a firm touch. I have no time for this soft permissive parenting. Can you do a hand over at the door? Get mum to text when she is near you except give her past record she would forget. Good luck