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starschildmind
14-10-2013, 11:55 AM
Hello.
Im all very stuck.

I have taken on a little 6m old boy whos mum is 15 and stil at school. (Please no judgements)
He is lovely and settleing really really well.

However im a bit stuck.
Twinkle (use names for ease) is the boys nan and girls (*) mum.

Twinkle has gardian ship over the baby and girl * (baby mum) and has made it clear that babys dad is not to collect baby and i am to contact her is he needs calpol.. collection or anything else as * is at school.

Im not sure what to do. Do i still contact parents as i would normally or as she is their legal gardian would i contact her?

* asked me to give baby calpol this morning. But as handover was rushed (they turned up late!) i forgot to ask what time his last dose was. I text the babys dad but felt really bad as twinkle said i should contact her. Yet he is the babys dad.

Im very confuddled!!! Whats your advice or do i need to contact (if so who) for advice.
Thank you xx

dawn100
14-10-2013, 12:05 PM
Who does the baby live with? Who is responsible for the baby's care when not with you? Baby's mum, dad or gran?
If I'm understanding correctly gran has legal guardianship over the baby so assuming baby lives in the same house as her with mum but not dad?
Who have you got listed as first emergency contact and who is your contract with?
Sorry for all the questions just trying to understand the situation.
If gran is the legal guardian I would think you would have to contact her.

dawn100
14-10-2013, 12:07 PM
Also re medicine I will not give calpol without a signed time of last dose from parents/carer.

shortstuff
14-10-2013, 12:08 PM
im sorry i dont know what to suggest. You are in a tricky position as the mum isnt old enough to have signed the contract but if the grandma has legal guardianship then have you seen the court papers? Im guessing there needs to be some? unless it is just a verbal agreement between the mother and daughter as using legal guardian can just be a phrase and not be drawn up legally?

Im sorry but the best i could suggest is contact your DO?

littleDs31
14-10-2013, 12:10 PM
I agree with gail tracey, contact your DO for advice :)

hectors house
14-10-2013, 12:20 PM
Did you try to contact the mum or gran - surely if the dad isn't to be trusted to collect the child, he wouldn't be first choice to call about calpol! If the gran has said you are to contact her then that is what you should do.

You probably have the contract with the gran as the mother is under 18 (no judgements made), and anyone under the age of 18 can't be held legally responsible for signing a contract - that's why they can't get a phone contract or credit card under the age of 18.

When I worked in a college there was a girl who had a baby, she lived with her partner and the baby but when she went on a trip she still had to get her parents or partner to sign the form as she was old enough to have a baby and look after it but not old enough to go on a trip with adult consent.

Also with regards to Calpol, if you assumed he was given Calpol just before dropped off with you then you could give another dose 4 hours after that - but it doesn't sound as if written permission was given as everyone in a rush.

QualityCare
14-10-2013, 12:32 PM
I'm with Hectors house you should have contacted grandma, 4hrs would have been from drop off for next dose as l doubt she gave it on the doorstep, if dad is not to be trusted who gave you contact details for him and for what reason.

starschildmind
14-10-2013, 12:35 PM
I already have permission forms saying that i can adminster calpol. Babys mum asked me to give it. I just text dad to see when his last was.

Nanny is dying (sorry to be blunt) but yes as far as i know she is the legal gardian but i havent seen the paperwork.
This all went through very quick. The school asked if i could have baby so mum could go back as nan is now to poorly to have him. I completed all the permission forms and baby files but contracts are still to be written up as the school are ment to be doing it then granny. Maybe i have jumped into this to quick but baby needed to be settled incasr nanny dies :(

Babys mum and dad always drop off baby and collect him together. This is why im so confused.

Im going to call nanny later to finalise contracts . Then at least i can work it that any permission needs to be taken through nanny and not the babys mum.

I feel awfull as she is his mum and i dont want to treat her any different as i would usually. But apparently she doesnt have any parental rights. Its not fair :(
P.s she is a very very good mum!!!

starschildmind
14-10-2013, 12:36 PM
I'm with Hectors house you should have contacted grandma, 4hrs would have been from drop off for next dose as l doubt she gave it on the doorstep, if dad is not to be trusted who gave you contact details for him and for what reason.

Mum and nanny filled out forms. And mum gave me dads number incase i needed it.

Mum hasnt told me not to contact him. Only granny. I find it difficult as he is 18. He can have parental rights. But he doesnt live witg mum and baby.

QualityCare
14-10-2013, 12:54 PM
This is very difficult poor you and mum (of baby) it seems odd that guardianship was given to grandma given her circumstances, unless her medical condition wasn't known then, as guardianship is usually only given to a family member so that a relationship can be kept up between child and parent but it does not take away the legal rights of the parent over the child. It could be that the daughter has given her mum guardianship and its not a legal (through the court) arrangement. Yes get it all checked out it seems that dad is very involved with child and his rights havn't been taken away.

FussyElmo
14-10-2013, 01:00 PM
There could be a legal reason that dad hasn't got guardianship. Him being 18 and the mum being 15. if Dad doesn't live with them then he may not know what time the calpol was given but nan might.

Very tricky situation. Get the contract sorted asap its too your credit you have concentrated on the baby but now look after your side. Who is paying the contract if school is signing it? If its nanny what will happen when she dies? Sorry to be blunt :(

dawn100
14-10-2013, 01:08 PM
Can you approach her school for further clarification, I would of thought as she is 15 that she would of been assigned a social worker, do you know if this is the case?
It sounds a very complex case and I understand you want to treat mum the same (which I admire you for having been a young mum myself) but you must for your own protection ensure you are contacting the right person when there is a problem.
I think dad will only have parental responsibility if he is named on the birth certificate.

starschildmind
14-10-2013, 02:56 PM
Can you approach her school for further clarification, I would of thought as she is 15 that she would of been assigned a social worker, do you know if this is the case?
It sounds a very complex case and I understand you want to treat mum the same (which I admire you for having been a young mum myself) but you must for your own protection ensure you are contacting the right person when there is a problem.
I think dad will only have parental responsibility if he is named on the birth certificate.

Ive tried ringing the school 3 time. Nanny has also tried to get them to call me to but they wont :-/

Its such a mess at the mo !!! Ive text nanny as she is ment to pay now and then invoice the school with the amount. Im sure she will pay she is a lovely lady. but im worried!!

Im such a mug. Do anything for anyone i end up screwing myself over!!!

Thanks for the advice tho :)

starschildmind
14-10-2013, 02:59 PM
There could be a legal reason that dad hasn't got guardianship. Him being 18 and the mum being 15. if Dad doesn't live with them then he may not know what time the calpol was given but nan might.

Very tricky situation. Get the contract sorted asap its too your credit you have concentrated on the baby but now look after your side. Who is paying the contract if school is signing it? If its nanny what will happen when she dies? Sorry to be blunt :(

One of my worries!!! Ive set it out with an average monthly payment so its easier on all sides.
Hopefully it will all work out as he is a lovely boy and the family are to :)

dawn100
14-10-2013, 03:44 PM
I know you want to help this family out which I do admire and think its great when the reward is more than just money but it sounds like you've not been paid anything? I would just be wary about letting the bill get too high without payments especially as you've struggled to get any contact with the school who are meant to be footing up the bill, currently via nan but without wanting to sound harsh what will happen re payments when nan passes away?

starschildmind
14-10-2013, 04:17 PM
I know you want to help this family out which I do admire and think its great when the reward is more than just money but it sounds like you've not been paid anything? I would just be wary about letting the bill get too high without payments especially as you've struggled to get any contact with the school who are meant to be footing up the bill, currently via nan but without wanting to sound harsh what will happen re payments when nan passes away?

Nans footing the bill and then the school are reinbursing her. She is able to claim tax credits to so im sure i will get money. I will have future payments in advance its just been last week (3days) and this week (5days) that are being added on to next months bill. Everything else is a month in advance.

I am being wary. Just really feel for them. Its such a hard case but i just couldnt leave the family after seeing how vulnerable the poor girl was x

dawn100
14-10-2013, 05:04 PM
As long as you happy with how the payments are happening, I only say about being wary because I have been too soft far too many times and been taken for a ride and have lost out financially. I wish you all the best in sorting this out and think its great your commitment to this family. X