Giving notice guilt!

[Katteriffic]

I'm going to give notice on one of my mindees. He's the first one I had, and waited for my registration to come through so they could start with me. Mindee is a screamer, he settled down after about 2 months, but started up again last month, once he'd sussed something was going on with mum, and I've had enough. I also charged them a bit less because I knew mum from school too, and I have someone who is gonna pay me much better.

My guilt comes in because mum is due to have a baby next week! And I don't have space to have both when/if she goes back to work anyway. I'm trying to work out when to give notice, as I don't need to start with my new one until Jan.

[clareelizabeth1]

Wait until the last possible moment to give notice as things with other parent could fall through.

[littlebears1009]

Wait until the last possible moment to give notice as things with other parent could fall through.

I agree with this x

[migimoo]

Same advice here,don't feel too bad just remember you're a business.
I just gave notice to a LO that does 13 hours a week so someone who wanted 30 hours could have their space and couldn't sleep for days I felt so guilty...it will pass.

[bandlady]

Just my opinion but you don't just give up a child because he is a screamer or you can get more money from another client. If this is the way childminding is becoming I am certainly getting to the stage where I am going to give this job up!! After nearly 30 years in this job I am really getting fed up with childminders putting money before a child's wellbeing. If we were all to walk away from challenging children what would happen to our profession!!

Denise

[clareelizabeth1]

Just my opinion but you don't just give up a child because he is a screamer or you can get more money from another client. If this is the way childminding is becoming I am certainly getting to the stage where I am going to give this job up!! After nearly 30 years in this job I am really getting fed up with childminders putting money before a child's wellbeing. If we were all to walk away from challenging children what would happen to our profession!! Denise

It would be lovely to have enough money to not have to think about how much each child brings in and that another child could give me more hours.

In reality I have bills to pay and a son to bring up on just my childminding wage so although I put the children first sometimes it does come to the point if if I put this child first I won't pay my bills I won't be able to buy food which ultimately would make me stresses and grumpy. Which would make me a bad mummy and childminder. So in the end giving notice to the child in the first place would of been the best thing for all the children in the first place.

One day I will win the lottery and not have to worry about such things

[Koala]

Just my opinion but you don't just give up a child because he is a screamer or you can get more money from another client. If this is the way childminding is becoming I am certainly getting to the stage where I am going to give this job up!! After nearly 30 years in this job I am really getting fed up with childminders putting money before a child's wellbeing. If we were all to walk away from challenging children what would happen to our profession!!

Denise

That's a bit harsh.
At times we have to do what is best for ourselves, not everyone has the luxury to do what is best for everyone else!

[emma04]

Just my opinion but you don't just give up a child because he is a screamer or you can get more money from another client. If this is the way childminding is becoming I am certainly getting to the stage where I am going to give this job up!! After nearly 30 years in this job I am really getting fed up with childminders putting money before a child's wellbeing. If we were all to walk away from challenging children what would happen to our profession!! Denise

Well being is paramount for every child and if others are suffering due to their childcarer having to pacify a screaming baby day in day out, then something has to be done!

Unfortunately the parenting strategies used by some these days, often leaves the practitioners with a less than "determined to succeed" attitude. I have been childminding for 6 years and really notice a difference in children, just by the way their parents behave in relation to their care.
I've dealt with babies who have been breast fed to sleep, had bottles of milk thrust into their mouths at the first drop of their lip, babies that sleep with parents, babies that are carried around in slings........all to avoid something that is actually perfectly natural......CRYING! Many parents do everything in their power to stop this natural reaction and the lengths that they go to are verging on crazy.

So.....when the little mites are introduced to childcare, we have our work cut out to try and reverse the effects of what the parenting strategies have ingrained into the child.

Now some of us can handle it and will persevere! I did and it worked, but it took 8weeks and I only had one other mindee (my dd was at preschool) to care for, also the parent was willing for me to allow their child cry and establish new routines and boundaries.
However, more recently, I was less able to persevere as I now have a 2yr old of my own, plus other mindees to consider. A screaming baby, demanding and taking up all of my attention is unfair and disturbing for other children. Mum was less than happy for her child to be upset and thankfully made the decision to remove her for me! I'm not a quitter by any means, but the welfare of the other children in my setting is paramount

I understand the point about money and don't agree with giving notice purely to take on a better contract either. However, I do understand why some do it in certain circumstances. After all when you get paid such a dismal wage, dealing with challenging behaviour for £3 an hour is not very appealing! Therefore an alternative arrangement may seem appropriate.

I agree we should be working closely with parents, but at the same time, it should be the parents responsibility to "ready" their children for when the time comes for them to attend childcare, especially babies!

[sophia36]

Well being is paramount for every child and if others are suffering due to their childcarer having to pacify a screaming ***** in day out, then something has to be done!

Unfortunately the parenting strategies used by some these days, often leaves the practitioners with a less than "determined to succeed" attitude. I have been childminding for 6 years and really notice a difference in children, just by the way their parents behave in relation to their care.
I've dealt with babies who have been breast fed to sleep, had bottles of milk thrust into their mouths at the first drop of their lip, babies that sleep with parents, babies that are carried around in slings........all to avoid something that is actually perfectly natural......CRYING! Many parents do everything in their power to stop this natural reaction and the lengths that they go to are verging on crazy.

So.....when the little mites are introduced to childcare, we have our work cut out to try and reverse the effects of what the parenting strategies have ingrained into the child.

Now some of us can handle it and will persevere! I did and it worked, but it took 8weeks and I only had one other mindee (my dd was at preschool) to care for, also the parent was willing for me to allow their child cry and establish new routines and boundaries.
However, more recently, I was less able to persevere as I now have a 2yr old of my own, plus other mindees to consider. A screaming baby, demanding and taking up all of my attention is unfair and disturbing for other children. Mum was less than happy for her child to be upset and thankfully made the decision to remove her for me! I'm not a quitter by any means, but the welfare of the other children in my setting is paramount

I understand the point about money and don't agree with giving notice purely to take on a better contract either. However, I do understand why some do it in certain circumstances. After all when you get paid such a dismal wage, dealing with challenging behaviour for £3 an hour is not very appealing! Therefore an alternative arrangement may seem appropriate.

I agree we should be working closely with parents, but at the same time, it should be the parents responsibility to "ready" their children for when the time comes for them to attend childcare, especially babies!

I absolutely agree. :thumbsup:

[smurfette]

Well being is paramount for every child and if others are suffering due to their childcarer having to pacify a screaming baby day in day out, then something has to be done!

Unfortunately the parenting strategies used by some these days, often leaves the practitioners with a less than "determined to succeed" attitude. I have been childminding for 6 years and really notice a difference in children, just by the way their parents behave in relation to their care.
I've dealt with babies who have been breast fed to sleep, had bottles of milk thrust into their mouths at the first drop of their lip, babies that sleep with parents, babies that are carried around in slings........all to avoid something that is actually perfectly natural......CRYING! Many parents do everything in their power to stop this natural reaction and the lengths that they go to are verging on crazy.

So.....when the little mites are introduced to childcare, we have our work cut out to try and reverse the effects of what the parenting strategies have ingrained into the child.

Now some of us can handle it and will persevere! I did and it worked, but it took 8weeks and I only had one other mindee (my dd was at preschool) to care for, also the parent was willing for me to allow their child cry and establish new routines and boundaries.
However, more recently, I was less able to persevere as I now have a 2yr old of my own, plus other mindees to consider. A screaming baby, demanding and taking up all of my attention is unfair and disturbing for other children. Mum was less than happy for her child to be upset and thankfully made the decision to remove her for me! I'm not a quitter by any means, but the welfare of the other children in my setting is paramount

I understand the point about money and don't agree with giving notice purely to take on a better contract either. However, I do understand why some do it in certain circumstances. After all when you get paid such a dismal wage, dealing with challenging behaviour for £3 an hour is not very appealing! Therefore an alternative arrangement may seem appropriate.

I agree we should be working closely with parents, but at the same time, it should be the parents responsibility to "ready" their children for when the time comes for them to attend childcare, especially babies!

Yes I agree too, drives me mad that parents want their child in a
Childcare setting that has other children in for the social benefits but doesn't ready them for the fact that childminder cannot possibly rock/feed child to sleep and carry them around all day. I have had two come who co slept in double bed with parents breastfeeding on demand
And to sleep and yet was expected to care for them and get them to sleep in a travel cot on own with no breastfed! I am totally for breastfeeding but if you are going back to work you do need to wean off a bit. Have also had one carried around all day and freaks at the other children because they never meet another child except for the 5/6 days a month I have them! It's not fair on anyone and we do have to consider the wellbeing of all the children, this includes other mindees who deserve equal attention and care, and yes sometimes our own if we can't manage financially on
What we are earning!

Op .. At least mum is on maternity and as you say you can't fit both in anyway when (or indeed if!) she goes back to work, so try not to let it give you sleepless nights., the fact u care shows you are a good minder and don't just think about the money xx

[barbarella68]

Was a bit harsh I agree,perhaps it is for the best that you give up with that attitude against your fellow Childminders.
Perhaps you are rich enough not to be bothered about money.The child is obviously not happy so by keeping on looking after them it is not in the child's best interest is it?:(

[KatieFS]

I'm afraid money does come into it. I have a situation on horizon which i feel guilty about but child who's mum expecting going to leave for 8-9 months. i will lose £500-£600 a month, so either we dont pay our bills or feed our children, obvs not an option so will need to fill the space. if i was rich i would not be working! This business is tough so you have to be a bit business minded how else could anyone make it work financially?

Also if you have a challenging child yes give them and family a fair chance and work with them but I could not or my children or mindees manage a child frequently crying. I do think the question is can my setting and what I offer give this child what they need. I declined a contract as mum says child is rocked to sleep. That is not something I can do so didn't even try for settling in as felt it was unfair to the other children.

I do agree parents make a rod for their own backs sometimes which does often make things harder for their lo's.. I'm sure not intentionally but always got to try to consider longer term with children like will I always be able to rock this baby to sleep, what happens when us he 2, can I do it then.....

[migimoo]

Got to agree...I do this job because I absolutely love it but I also do it to put food in my children's mouths, I have had to borrow money from my mum this month to cover bills as my wages as a CM aren't brilliant so although I will always do the best by my mindees my own families needs come first!

[emma04]

Just want to point out that I actually typed 'screaming baby' not sure why it has been asterisked out!..........Makes it look like I had typed something inappropriate!:(:(

[FussyElmo]

Just want to point out that I actually typed 'screaming baby' not sure why it has been asterisked out!..........Makes it look like I had typed something inappropriate!:(:(

We must have gremlins in the system. Its baby in your post but when quoted starred out :-D