View Full Version : Friends with parents

18-09-2013, 11:02 AM
Hello not posted on here before but here goes, just sat back and watched what goes on. My question...woud you make friends with parents ? attend events and socialise outside of work with them or keep its buisness and personal separate ? Thankyou

18-09-2013, 02:21 PM
Hmmm, this is a hard one...I'm very friendly with parents but must admit I keep a bit of a barrier there.one of my lo's was my friends dd and mum totally thought the same rules didn't apply to her,I also became close to one mum when I first started (she would tell me all her problems, cry on my shoulder) and she left owing me hundreds.
Think it's a shame but a case of once bitten twice shy with me.

18-09-2013, 02:51 PM
I was friends with one mum before I started minding her boys-that's why she asked me to have them!!- and have become good friends with the other mum in the three years I've had her wee boy and more recently baby daughter. She invites me and my kids to her children's birthday parties and we were at her daughter's christening.

18-09-2013, 03:14 PM
I have become very friendly with some parents over the years but wouldn't socialise with them. I do like to keep business and personal life separate.


18-09-2013, 03:33 PM
I am friends with all mine. We go to the same family events here. Most of us don't tend to hang out together though cos I like very different things to them. Most of the mums lately seem to love candle parties, geordie shore, listening to music I have never heard of, and going out to get as drunk as possible. I def like an ale in the evening, but I prefer to play my video games, or read my comic books, listening to thrash metal.
I don't get their interests, and they don't get mine. But we are still friends.
The dads, on the other hand, I get on with really well, and am happy to meet up with them online, in fantasy worlds.

18-09-2013, 03:37 PM
I've been to a makeup party of a mindees parent and it was fine, she was a mother of a girl in my daughters class though so it was kind of like going to a school mums party
As long as the relationships kept professional during work times I don't see a problem with seeing them socially. My cm friend goes on nights out with two of her mindees parents and sees them as friends now.
Another cm goes to the gym often with a parent
If you do decide to see them socially remember to not talk about work, or any other parents due to confidentiality and to remember you DO look after their kids, so no getting hammered (well not too hammered!) it's probably not going to be 100% the same as friends from others places as you'll probably be more aware of what you say or how you act, but it could still work
I think it's nice for parents to see you as human, if I've seen a parent on a night out and it didn't bother me, (in fact, she bought me a few drinks and drunkenly slurred that her little girl loved me lol!) we all have lives outside of work and if you want to make friends with a parent I don't see a problem with it unless they start taking liberties.
We all need friends and if one happens to be someone who pays you to look after their child, so what? It could be a friendship that lasts well beyond the time you care for their child anyway, you could end up being friends when you're 80!
Just make sure you keep professional head on at work!

18-09-2013, 04:01 PM
I'm close friends with one one mum (was before minding child) and know others through groups, college etc before I minded their children. I always kept it seperate before but now obviously can't do this. I do find it awkward sometimes with things like what I can or can't say with other friends in the same group and worry that if I upset them in a childminding aspect I could lose there friendships. All I would say is just be careful

18-09-2013, 04:34 PM
I try to keep it as professional as possible, but some parents I knew before minding so can be difficult. Another instance is in the three years I minded a little one I refused friend requests on good old facebook from the mum and dad, the little girl left my care and the area a week and half ago and they were barely out the door before I finally accepted the requests lol. I like to keep my private life just that, private. I am a completely different person at a weekend and love to go out and socialise and wouldnt want that to cloud parents judgement. But once a child leaves I do stay in contact, the little girl was just in my area for an eye appointment with her mum and rang to ask if she could come over to play! They came over and for the first time ever me and mum got to sit down, have coffee and chat about something other than the little one, it was wonderful!! Its all about balance I think, and the type of people the parents are x

18-09-2013, 05:09 PM
I get on well with all my parents, some I've minded for for 8 years but I dont socialise with them because the lines can get blurred.

18-09-2013, 05:14 PM
Thankyou very much for all your advice, very helpful

18-09-2013, 06:41 PM
I've became close friends with one of mine. See each other all the time and socialise alot with her. We're going for dinner tomorrow night with a couple of other friends of hers who I've became friendly with.

18-09-2013, 08:45 PM
I am friends outside work with select parents lol. First mum I started off going to her house with lots of wine and we had a takeaway as she only used to live at the top of my street. Never affected our business relationship. Shes moved now but we still meet up and do the same just not as often. Only last week I went on a night out with another parent for the first time. Have to say we both got drunk and even shared a giant fishbowl of some unknown quantity of alcohol. Was quite funny to be sucking straws together lol. Then after that all the booze hit me and I had the urge to be sick! Fortunately I wasnt and soon recovered. Can you imagine the shame. ... childminder is drunkenly sick on parent!! We did laugh about it on mon morning though so alls good :)

18-09-2013, 09:46 PM
Friendly but not friends!

I've Been stung before from parents who were friends and felt like certain rules didn't apply to them. I've learnt my lesson, there has to be a line of professionalism. It's tough, especially as they are in your home, which you open up to them. Only You know what your limits are, but just try to bare in mind, "one rule for all" don't get stuck into making exceptions for some parents if you wouldn't do it for all of them!

18-09-2013, 10:44 PM
One of my mindees is my best friends little boy. He was the first one I had sign up! We haven't had any issues so far...

I basically never use facebook anymore, which I think helps massively.

19-09-2013, 06:09 AM
My first mindee started in may and I really feel as if I've become friends with her Mum. She invites me to social events (haven't been able to attend one yet) but I think I'd be apprehensive to have alcohol around anyone work related.

I can foresee is being friends in the future, but maybe I'm naive! I know the other parents are not the same, and I can't imagine socialising with them in any way!

19-09-2013, 08:32 AM
I keep a distance but we are friendly, when they leave we can be friends.....when I was a mum using a childminder I made attempts to be friends with my childminder and I didn't realise at that time how she must have felt ...

19-09-2013, 12:06 PM
I have had parents send friend requests on Facebook. I ended up setting up a childminding profile so that they could friend me there as I want to keep work and social life separate.

Chatterbox Childcare
19-09-2013, 05:21 PM
I had children for 21 years and we used to go on holiday with the family aswell as working. I think you have to have an honest relationship for this to work. The youngest left me 7 years ago and I still see the whole family once a week.