View Full Version : Do you let your older children go out?

17-09-2013, 05:57 PM
I look after an 11 year old who is at secondary school. Would you allow him to go out (I live in a village) if his parents were happy with that, and if so what forms would you get the parent to sign, what would you say would be reasonable for keeping in touch?

Also, with the same child in mind, he currently walks to mine across the village (10 min walk) from the bus stop, most of the time with my eldest child who is 14, if I wanted to go out with the other children to the field behind my house would I be able to say to them to put their bags in the house and change and join us in the field, if I were in contact with mobiles to be told when they're back? I'm trying to work out a way to get out a bit afterschool with the others without having to return 20 mins later to meet them at the house. I'm not sure if there's any way around it.


17-09-2013, 06:40 PM
If they are in my care, personally that's where they are staying. Where I can see them. I don't think going to get changed and coming out to the field is a problem, just have an agreed time etc and stick to it rigidly.

As for going off alone, that's a no no for me, and what on earth would insurance say if he had an accident or something? I doubt they'd be sympathetic.

17-09-2013, 06:41 PM
Re reading what I wrote I sounded very hard, I didn't mean it to come across that way just offering my opinion :)

17-09-2013, 06:55 PM
Its a difficult one. I grow up in a country village and things are different, kids go out much more by themselves. All my brothers and sisters still live there, all their kids play outside alone/together, much earlier than 11 too, with rules. I would want my daughter to be able to visit at age 11 and go out with her friends/family, but with mindee children its different. I personally think children are wrapped up in cotton wool too much these days and its not any more dangerous these days than in my days. Mindee children need to learn skills too, being street smart etc but I would not be able to rest if they were out alone. Its very sad but, it is insurance, Ofsted even if parents agree.

18-09-2013, 05:56 AM
At 11 yes. They would be allowed to go out and meet their friends. Keeping them trapped in a building, usually 1 or 2 rooms, with toddler and younger children every day, is not going to be doing anything positive for their development.
Parental permission would be what I would require. A signed agreement detailing where the kid is allowed and what they are allowed to do. I would include the child in the agreement too.
An older child forced to remain in a building with toddlers and babies every day is absolutely going to act out.

18-09-2013, 06:18 AM
No it's ok, it doesn't sound harsh, thanks for the opinions. Yes it's a country village and there's a big thread on fb at the moment from one of my friends asking if 8 is too young to be allowed out and about for her child, it's that sort of village, it's a lovely place to live. I work part time in the shop and over the summer a lot of children were out all day long, quite worryingly!

I know he's allowed out when his mum's at home and she said last year when he started coming here that she was happy for him to go off but I wasn't without him having a mobile. Now tho, as he gets himself unaccompanied to me anyhow, I feel that it jarrs a bit that he's then stuck in the house (wanting to play on the pc most the time). It's not often I have him for more than just an hour or so, hence the thinking about getting him and my eldest to dump stuff and come and join us if we're out the back. I'll need to talk to them both tonight (and his mum, natch).


18-09-2013, 06:54 AM
I think allowing children to go out and play around the village when they are in my care is a no, no - how can you be responsible for a child when you dont know where they are, who they are with or what they are doing?

The EYFS says (page 18, 3.27) "Children must usually be within sight and hearing of staff and always within sight or hearing". It won't matter if the parents have signed to say it's OK or not, if you are found to be breaching the conditions of your registration then I doubt your insurance would be valid if anything happened.

For children arriving independently I make clear to parents that they are not my responsibility until they arrive at my house but I wouldn't give them a key to let themselves in and get changed.

Miffy xx

18-09-2013, 07:00 AM
But the EYFS only applies to early years, this is an eleven year old.

It is a difficult one. I let my DD10 go to the shops and to school on her own but if something goes wrong then it's down to me. With someone else's child it's different.

18-09-2013, 07:27 AM
I had this with my 9yo mindee. He only lives up the road & when at home with mum he's allowed out alone to play with his friends. I phoned pacey & they said if anything was to happen I wouldn't be covered as I had allowed him out alone. Even with parents written permission I wouldn't be covered.

18-09-2013, 07:38 AM
I'm glad l don't have older children so not going to come across this situation but the way l see it is, this child is 11 he doesn't come under the EYFS standards they cover birth to five years, he doesn't come into the accountable under 8yrs, at 11yrs he is leaving school on his own getting a bus on his own walking to your house on his own who is responsible for him all this time your son isn't and he might not always be coming home at the same time as minded child, they both sometimes enter your unoccupied house to change. His parents are quite happy for him to do this alone, l would ring your insurance company and get there views but are they interested in what children over 8yrs do with us, many children are left to go home alone once they go to secondary school and wait for parents to get home, l would draw up some form of contract with the parents and child with exactly what they and you are prepared to do, who has responsibility (takes the blame) for any accident, that you all agree with. And yes l think he should be able to go out and play as long as there is phone contact and he sticks to the agreement you have all agreed to and if rules are broken there has to be consequences (agreed by you and parents) which he agrees to.
Just read above post regarding insurance, its a shame as may make more parents let their child stay home alone although at 9yrs l wouldn't let them out alone secondary age yes.

Chatterbox Childcare
18-09-2013, 09:06 AM
I don't allow children out of my sight whatever age but over 8's can play out the front in the cul de sac where I can see them from a window.

Look at your policies and insurance closely. Don't accept responsbility until they reach you - get this signed..

Insurance - MM didn't cover me for children over 8 playing outside, Pacey did. Worth looking at

18-09-2013, 11:16 AM
It's such a tough one, as it isn't your child, and I am sure you would never forgive yourself if something happened, regardless of whether mom said it was ok or not. There is also pressure on your son to take responsibility for the time they are alone x