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littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 09:38 AM
As ive mentioned before i have a screamer started last week. Hes cries from 9.00 until 5.30 im exhausted with it and its only half 10. He went home early yesterday as his mum rang to see how he was and she could hear how badly he was screaming and my daughter had another hospital appointment. Said we would try again tomorrow. Hes come this morning shattered (apparently has a sore throat which is why hes not eating) so hungry and full of a cold. I am trying to get him to have a nap so currently sat on the stairs doing the every 4 minutes check up. How long would you persevere with this and hope it changes? I am going away in 2 weeks for a fortnight and by then the 4 weeks settling period will be almost over and after that ill have to give 4 weeks notice if i feel its not working for my family. My own nearly 3 yr old is nicely playing with her dollies while i try get him to sleep. Feel so bad on my own child having to miss out on me x

Katteriffic
17-09-2013, 09:59 AM
I feel your pain! I had one who was like that when he first started, took him 3 months to settle down. I only me resisted as long as that as his mum is a friend, and he was fairly similar at home. He's been fine since then, but his mum is due to have a baby in a couple of weeks and he's started up again! I shall persist till after she's had the baby and think about again then. Especially since I don't have space for him and baby when mum goes back to work!

Sorry I can't help you with your screamer, I hope it stops soon!

JCrakers
17-09-2013, 10:12 AM
I think the problem you will encounter is the 2 week break. When you come back it will be like starting all over again.

I would have a chat with parents and maybe extend the settling in period to 2 weeks after you come back. Then that gives you two weeks to tackle it without having to do it for 4 weeks.

I had a screamer for 8 weeks and its very draining. 4 days a week 8pm-6pm and she screamed for probably 8 hrs a day. I did everything I could, worked closely with parents but nothing would work. I gave notice after week 8 as I was emotionally and ohysically ehausted as well as the impact on my own family, my other mindees and potential business when out and about.

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 10:19 AM
Thats a good idea Crackers i may just suggest that. Would we need to do a whole new contract or just type a letter and get both signatures?
I feel really bad. The first few days i told mum he had been ok but by the fourth day i decided to tell her truthfully how he had been to see if she could help. But she says he never cries at home so she cant understand it. But i cant put up with it indefinately as i have my own family to think about x

kellyskidz!
17-09-2013, 10:24 AM
If you're not coping with it and your own child is missing out, give notice.
Life's too short IMO
The 2 week break is going to be tough, will you spend it worrying about what it's going to be like when you go back to work? It will be like starting anew again and will probably take longer this time around, or the break could be just what you need to relax and start again with this child
You can't be running yourself into the ground and exhausting yourself over this though, it must be awful!
I have a screamer who screams blue murder for the first 20mins he's dropped off and then is mostly fine and I find that draining, never mind all day! You're going to make yourself ill, and no one wants that. I agree with extending notice period but only if you feel up to it, sometimes its just not feasible and that's not your fault xx

KatieFS
17-09-2013, 10:25 AM
Could you have mum stay with you for a bit to see how she settles him? Its a vit odd he usnt likw that a home. Great idea from crackers, extend it if you can handle more if the same after holiday.

Joda
17-09-2013, 10:35 AM
It's hard work when you have a screamer! I had a 9 month old start last year who was a screamer and just didn't settle at all. Mum had to go to work (giving up wasn't an option) and she was getting just as upset as baby when she had to leave. I persevered with him however and he is now 2 and totally adorable! He loves coming to me now - apparently I'm all he talks about at home, and now he doesn't want to leave when mum comes to collect him!

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 10:44 AM
Well i get married while im away so that is probably adding to my sleepless nights and exhaustion but over the weekend i was dreading him coming back monday. His mum has been back at work since he was 3 weeks old and she has been paying a friend to look after him 2 days a week who let her down and now hes with me 4 days. She said he was fine with her no bother and the only thing she does to settle him is give him a bottle. But thats not so easy when he refuses to take the bottle from me. Im confused, i dont want to give up so easily as hes my first mindee too but then i dont want my daughter to feel left out. it kills me to have to keep telling her ill be a few minutes and those few minutes turn in to 20/30 x

KatieFS
17-09-2013, 12:38 PM
Congrats- where are you getting married!!!!!??? No wonder it sounds like 3 weeks that is early. I think you might have your work cut out!
It's very hard and so many people I've spoken to say their first is always hard. I would try again after holiday, but have mum in with you to see how she copes with him. Does she work full time?

Settling with a bottle is tough if you have others around. The twins I have only seem to sleep with a bottle. It's very hard work!

It's no issue to say your setting isn't right for him. There us def no reason for you to feel bad! Like u say the number if cms I have Met and their first mindee a challenge they all said i wished i terminated contract sooner. Some babies need alot if support to settle in and if you have other young ones you might not be able to give him what he needs. I'm afraid some parents make a rod for their own back with babies, obvs not intentionally but rocking to sleep feeding to sleep then makes it hard hit their little one with anyone else but mum/dad. So don't blame yourself in anyway.
I would try after holiday tho, be very honest with mum about it so she understands too.... X

VeggieSausage
17-09-2013, 12:52 PM
I have had a few mindees cry a lot at the beginning, I had one that cried for 8 weeks solid and I still have him 3 years late, happy and settled. I don't think you have given it quite long enough - I would extent settling in period to 3 months, just change contract and get mum to initial next to ti. I would try and home visit to their house to see how lo behaves there, you may not have the full story and you might pick up a tip on how to improve things. I tackle the crying of a new one if it is just going on and on with walks!! so I am couped up with the noise in the house.....you have my sympathy it is awful.....some children are not suited to childcare and need to be at home with a parent, don't feel bad ....

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 08:03 PM
Congrats- where are you getting married!!!!!??? No wonder it sounds like 3 weeks that is early. I think you might have your work cut out!
It's very hard and so many people I've spoken to say their first is always hard. I would try again after holiday, but have mum in with you to see how she copes with him. Does she work full time?

Settling with a bottle is tough if you have others around. The twins I have only seem to sleep with a bottle. It's very hard work!

It's no issue to say your setting isn't right for him. There us def no reason for you to feel bad! Like u say the number if cms I have Met and their first mindee a challenge they all said i wished i terminated contract sooner. Some babies need alot if support to settle in and if you have other young ones you might not be able to give him what he needs. I'm afraid some parents make a rod for their own back with babies, obvs not intentionally but rocking to sleep feeding to sleep then makes it hard hit their little one with anyone else but mum/dad. So don't blame yourself in anyway.
I would try after holiday tho, be very honest with mum about it so she understands too.... X

Im getting married in Rhodes! Exciting! X

sprinkles
17-09-2013, 08:04 PM
Im getting married in Rhodes! Exciting! X

Wow, how exciting :D I get married in 8 months, scary how fast it's coming round!!

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 08:08 PM
This afternoon he woke up from his nap (he eventually fell asleep in the cot after an hour of not giving in) and he was a dream, like a completely different child and i loved this side of him. He didnt start crying until ten minutes before pick up when he started to get tired again. It really made me want to stick at it so I can see the happy little boy more and more. I think it is a sleep thing. His mum says he doesnt like to sleep and she finds it difficult to settle him but i think this is why he is hard work all day everyday. Thing is he comes to me at 9am looking shattered so its not a great start to the day, can hardly put him for a nap then. So i think if i can get mum to work with me on getting him to sleep instead of her giving in and grt a little routine we may have cracked it. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 08:10 PM
Wow, how exciting :D I get married in 8 months, scary how fast it's coming round!!

It doesnt seem two minutes since the proposal and it was 2 years ago. I had my hen party at the weekend and still it hasnt sunk in. 8 months will come round in no time at all. These 2 weeks should fly by with my mindee keeping me on my toes x

sprinkles
17-09-2013, 08:13 PM
It doesnt seem two minutes since the proposal and it was 2 years ago. I had my hen party at the weekend and still it hasnt sunk in. 8 months will come round in no time at all. These 2 weeks should fly by with my mindee keeping me on my toes x

Haha don't scare me!! We are pretty organised though! I'm so jealous of you getting married abroad - are you getting married on the beach? X

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 08:26 PM
Haha don't scare me!! We are pretty organised though! I'm so jealous of you getting married abroad - are you getting married on the beach? X

Im really organised too, not much to do really i tell them what i want and the coordinator sorts it. No, we are getting married at filerimos. It is an old monastry in the mountains. we get married outside though. Its gorgeous. Our reception is at a restaurant on the terrace which is right on the coast overlooking the beach x

serin
17-09-2013, 08:30 PM
I have a screamer but he has a growling moan which runs all day non stop. It changed to more often in the morning and then on and off in the afternoon. When I pick him up it dont make much difference so I ignore him and leave him on the floor with toys. It is up to him if he plays or not. I have noticed he plays up more with other kids around or if they take "his toy" so my aim is to occupy the others to not be around him much. It has worked better. He naps 9:30-10:30/11 and then I put my others to eat while he plays, nap while he isnt etc. I alternate it and it has worked well. Have you tried him bringing a special toy from home?I dont think it helps mum hanging around. I think it makes it worse.

KatieFS
17-09-2013, 09:09 PM
Sounds amazing!!! We got married in Cyprus, fab weather great pics everyone had a great time and I barely organised a thing - which was totally what I wanted. Brilliant!!! Have a fantastic time! Well done for your day today. Keep us updated when you return. When is your last day with him before your holiday

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 09:27 PM
My last day with him is monday as i go away wednesday. I did tell mum i would work tuesday to help but she has a flexible job and knew it would make things easier for me to have the day off before we fly to pick my dress up etc without the little one. So i have 7 more days with him to cement this routine and hopefully his mum will try stick to it while im away. Definitely thinking of suggesting an extension to the settling in period though. Thanks for all your help ladies! Much appreciated! X

littlebears1009
17-09-2013, 09:29 PM
I have a screamer but he has a growling moan which runs all day non stop. It changed to more often in the morning and then on and off in the afternoon. When I pick him up it dont make much difference so I ignore him and leave him on the floor with toys. It is up to him if he plays or not. I have noticed he plays up more with other kids around or if they take "his toy" so my aim is to occupy the others to not be around him much. It has worked better. He naps 9:30-10:30/11 and then I put my others to eat while he plays, nap while he isnt etc. I alternate it and it has worked well. Have you tried him bringing a special toy from home?I dont think it helps mum hanging around. I think it makes it worse.

Yesterday and today he brought his favourite toy. Yesterday it made no difference, he has held on tight to it today though! X

KatieFS
18-09-2013, 06:27 AM
Good luck! It sounds like your making progress. Give yourself Tuesday off to get relaxed and ready for your wedding! Have an amazing time x

jackie 7
18-09-2013, 08:16 AM
As someone else said motzart. I found I had a lullaby cd. Calmed my s reamer down. Also he went to sleep. Won't put him into a cot for a whole as he can scream for hours and I do g want to bd reported!!

angeldelight
18-09-2013, 08:20 AM
I feel for you

My screamer still screams after four months although not all the time now like it was

It can be draining though and it's hard work

Do the right thing for you and your family here

Good luck

Angel xx

Lottie
18-09-2013, 09:04 AM
I had a screamer for 2 months. Constantly! It literally drove me insane, to the point that I nearly gave notice, and suddenly he stopped. Some children have a really hard time settling in and separating from their parents.
I would possibly extend your settling in period for another 1 or 2 months, that way it gives you some room to manoeuvre as well. Do whats right for you.

AliceK
18-09-2013, 09:17 AM
I had a screamer a couple of years ago, it affected me and the other mindees who ended up dreading him coming so he had to go. I made the decision then not to take on any child under 12mths old. However I have just this week started with a 10mth old who is the sibling of a current mindee. Boy has he got some lungs on him. Yesterday was a bad day. He does have a magic button though that turns the screaming off when he's picked up!!. Hmmm, sorry but that's not very helpful for me. I came home from school yesterday with 8 children in total and then had to cook tea, I can't do that with a baby strapped to my hip. Hopefully he will settle better soon because as harsh as I sound I don't have the time or the inclination to listen to 8hrs of angry screaming every day :panic:

xxx

scottishlass
18-09-2013, 12:35 PM
I think after a few weeks I would be close to handing over notice! Xx

Pigeons
09-01-2014, 09:40 AM
I'm new to the forum so I may be posting in the wrong area.
I have been childminding a, now 10 month old for 6 months and he is a screamer. On a Monday he will scream all day, less on a Tuesday and so on until it's minimal on a Friday. He doesn't like loud noises, even a loud laugh or our singing, he doesn't like people when other parents comes in or we go out for walks he screams. He will stop if he's carried around but I can't do that all day. His dad says his mum carries him around at home all day and she says she doesn't, they don't take him out because he doesn't like people and they won't take him down the freezer aisles in tescos because he doesn't like being cold.
I have a daily diary which I write about his day and I also talk to his dad in the evenings but all they ever say is he'll have to get use to it.
6 months down the line and my head hurts, he's not changed if anything it's got worse and is starting to effect my other children and our outings are never as fun with a screamer.
Any advise on what I can say to his parents?

yummyripples
09-01-2014, 03:34 PM
I'm new to the forum so I may be posting in the wrong area.
I have been childminding a, now 10 month old for 6 months and he is a screamer. On a Monday he will scream all day, less on a Tuesday and so on until it's minimal on a Friday. He doesn't like loud noises, even a loud laugh or our singing, he doesn't like people when other parents comes in or we go out for walks he screams. He will stop if he's carried around but I can't do that all day. His dad says his mum carries him around at home all day and she says she doesn't, they don't take him out because he doesn't like people and they won't take him down the freezer aisles in tescos because he doesn't like being cold.
I have a daily diary which I write about his day and I also talk to his dad in the evenings but all they ever say is he'll have to get use to it.
6 months down the line and my head hurts, he's not changed if anything it's got worse and is starting to effect my other children and our outings are never as fun with a screamer.
Any advise on what I can say to his parents?

Could you pick 1 or 2 things that
You feel need addressing, make observations and a plan on how you are going to take positive steps to overcome the situation.
I would tackle the screaming issue first. Check the loud noises are not a hearing issue. Sorry not much more advice at the moment - I need to get back to the children but I will have a think