Crying hysterically at settling in sessions

[APchild]

I have signed contracts with parent of a lovely 12 month old, she really is lovely, playful etc when mum is with her, however during her settling in sessions she cries the whole time. We started off slowly with mum coming for an hour and staying, then a session where mum stayed for 10 mins and then leaving, but little one just sobs her little heart out. She has had 4 2 hour sessions, she is also coming tomorrow and Sunday as I'm worried she will cry the whole day on Monday which is when he starts...I need help/ideas as currently my 18 month old is getting upset too, plus I have 2 pick ups etc and I don't know how she'll be.
She is 12 months old and otherwise normally quite social.
Is it just time? I don't know how long I could cope with the crying/sobbing..
Please help
Thanks
Ash

[Leela]

Hi I had the same problem with a 12 month old crying or whining for most of the day. The parents reassured me that he was quite sociable but I wasn't convinced. I was on the point of giving notice when we had a turn around and he just settled down. He still gives a brief yell when his parents leave and that's mostly it unless he is tired. So I would say don't be anxious, be relaxed and baby should settle.

[jackie 7]

2weeks of full time and today screamer is getting better. Very slow. Best advice I can give is go out lots.

[Jiorjiina]

I had 4 months of one little boy who screamed and cried for a good couple of hours everyday (he came two days a week). The thing was, when his mum put him in the car, he knew exactly where he was coming and was perfectly happy, it was only when mum left that he would kick off. And he had a really ear piercing cry as well. It got to the point where I would just sit next to him on a rug and let him sob, while I played with the others until he calmed down.

Then he magically settled down (literally, it was took him about a week), and was the most adorable little sweetheart you could imagine. And then he left, and I was sad, whereas a couple of months previously I was seriously considering terminating the contract.

[APchild]

It's so hard, and it breaks my heart. At one point I had the little one on my lap and my 18 month old sobbing. I guess there is nothing extra I can do, lunch needs to be made, the other children need to have some attention etc...I hope the sessions over the weekend plus 2 full day next week will help. I'm a relatively new childminder and I would hate to be judged by the public when I do the nursery and school run if I have a crying baby that just won't be comforted, plus my one who cries if the new starter cries.
We had lots of stop start crying today, I hope that's a good sign..
Thanks everyone

[KatieFS]

Hopefully within a day or so most children should settle but if baby still cries after a week I'm not sure I could keep going, especially with other children being affected.
Try to have other bits ready for the others to distract them while you deal with baby
Good luck x

[serin]

I have signed contracts with parent of a lovely 12 month old, she really is lovely, playful etc when mum is with her, however during her settling in sessions she cries the whole time. We started off slowly with mum coming for an hour and staying, then a session where mum stayed for 10 mins and then leaving, but little one just sobs her little heart out. She has had 4 2 hour sessions, she is also coming tomorrow and Sunday as I'm worried she will cry the whole day on Monday which is when he starts...I need help/ideas as currently my 18 month old is getting upset too, plus I have 2 pick ups etc and I don't know how she'll be.
She is 12 months old and otherwise normally quite social.
Is it just time? I don't know how long I could cope with the crying/sobbing..
Please help
Thanks
Ash

My god I am reading your message thinking did I post this lol. I have a 12 month old started. Had 1 and 2 hour settling in periods. Complete waste of time... Cried the whole ****** time! :doh: Then the first day came and he didnt sleep just cried for hours so I took him out and he was fine. Walked in the house and it was all screams again, wouldnt eat... :mad: Next day dad came and said in the morning that mindee has to sleep so let him cry it out. I did and it worked but he cried 2 hours till he slept. My mindee is a funny one. He cries for about 3 hours, suddenly stops crying at lunch and eats and then he is happy rest of the day. I do have to occupy the other children as much as I can because he is used to being n his own and hates kids taking "his" toys. But mum did say a big thank you and her appreciation end of the week which really gave me hope and motivation to make this work. Appreciation goes along way.

I think the key is to block out the cries as much as possible and just get on with things. Not easy though.

[APchild]

Just had another settling in session, cried when she saw me and then of course when mummy said goodbye. Had her for 2.5 hours and only stopped crying when I took her out in buggy which was great, but as soon as we got in she started again, wouldn't eat or play toys, wouldn't let me put her down which I don't mind, but during the week I won't be able to spend all my time holding her, although even when I held her she sobbed. This is day 5, got another session tomorrow and then she starts officially on Monday.
Not sure how long I could continue. Poor mum had a cry too

[serin]

Just had another settling in session, cried when she saw me and then of course when mummy said goodbye. Had her for 2.5 hours and only stopped crying when I took her out in buggy which was great, but as soon as we got in she started again, wouldn't eat or play toys, wouldn't let me put her down which I don't mind, but during the week I won't be able to spend all my time holding her, although even when I held her she sobbed. This is day 5, got another session tomorrow and then she starts officially on Monday.
Not sure how long I could continue. Poor mum had a cry too

Aww bless her. My one cries when I hold him and cries when I dont so I dont lol. He also stops out and starts at home but I dont want to take him out too much for that reason coz he needs to settle at home too but I have taken him for a quick fresh air 5 min thing. Mine only cries in the mornings not afternoon so I'm thinking he will hopefully cut that out too I hope!

I would say though if you guys havent tried then ask for them to bring their favourite toy to play with and it might help. Mine cries and plays lol but I guess its all progress. Its better than crying and doing nothing.

[tulip0803]

I had a temporary variation for a sibling last year and he was a screamer. He came to me twice a week for 6 weeks until they moved house. On one of those days each week I had 2x2 year olds, 1 14 month old and the 9 month screamer. He was happier in the pushchair and if I kept giving him things to eat:blush:. Mum said he was the same at home if she left a room or left him with daddy. I did get some smiley photos to put in his diary though:) he did spend a lot of the time screaming:(.

I spent a lot of time sitting on the floor with him on my lap and then moving to between my legs, then beside me with my arm around him - sometimes he would cry and sometimes he would play a bit.

On the very last day of the 6 weeks he was the happiest soul you could imagine just in time for me to say goodbye when Daddy picked them up to follow the removal lorry to the new house:(

[Zoomie]

I had a mindee who took a while to settle. I found that taking him out for a quick walk and then back home worked for us. I understand that your mindee becomes distressed when you get back home again, so maybe take advantage of being out and about (whilst the weather is still favourable) to at least get him used to you. Hopefully one day you'll come home and mindee will be okay with it.

[APchild]

Thanks Zoomie. The getting out and about with buggy def helped, but I can't imagine doing it all the time. We'll just plough through..I just can't believe a little one could cry that much!