View Full Version : Difficult day :(

05-09-2013, 05:35 PM
New Lo started last week (almost 3yrs) and it's not going well so far. Child has difficultly communicating, very limited speech and screeches and cries a lot. Today they've spent most of the day, hitting, and pushing others, snatching and throwing toys and generally not listening.

I've been so lucky with lo's in the past, a few minor issues every now and then, but I'm finding it hard with this child. I work with an assistant and one of us has to be constantly watching the child - who has upset every other child at some point today. Another new child is very quiet and really didn't like it, and told mummy they didn't have a nice time here. :(

I know that the difficulties in communication don't help the situation, but I really don't know what to do with a child that constantly hits/pushes and throws toys at anyone/thing.

Would really love some advice.

05-09-2013, 06:06 PM
I don't know what to suggest, I'm sure someone will be able to offer some wise words, but sending you lots of hugs x

05-09-2013, 06:17 PM
Sorry, no magic formula,

So just sending big hugs!

05-09-2013, 06:38 PM
You need to be firm. Hitting/pushing/throwing toys is unacceptable behaviour and they will be removed from the area (to time out, thinking spot). With communication difficulties your actions need to be louder than words.

At the same time, praise any and all acceptable behaviour - so they get more attention for that.

Good luck.

05-09-2013, 07:19 PM
Good websites explaining the difficulties faced by children with poor communication:

Link between Communication Difficulties and Behaviour (http://www.talkingpoint.org.uk/SLTs/Themes/Behaviour/Link%20between%20Communication%20Difficulties%20an d%20Behaviour.aspx)

http://www.talkingpoint.org.uk/~/media/TalkingPoint2/Factsheets/I%20CAN/Factsheet%201%20Language%20Difficulties%20in%20the %20Early%20Years.ashx

I used to be a SENCO and the training I had from our LEA speech and lang dept explained that language and communication is a bit like a wedding cake:


Attention and listening, play and interaction, comprehension and expression HAS to be established before speech and language can be in place. The top tier cannot happen until all the ingredients are in place.

05-09-2013, 07:20 PM
I think I would be honest with Mum and say you are finding it difficult, ask her how she manages his behaviour at home... see if you can work together to get over this.

If it doesn't improve you have to think of the others in your care and you may have to say your settling-in time hasn't worked he's not happy and may be best placed elsewhere...

05-09-2013, 08:57 PM
I would think long and hard before giving up altogether. Imagine that satisfying feeling when you make a breakthrough.

Emotions cards, so he can point to how he's feeling. Use the emotions when he does something to make someone sad and show him, have a time out card to establish signs for things instead of communicating verbally only.

Keep at it, I'm sure you can do it!

The Juggler
05-09-2013, 08:58 PM
keep reminding of boundaries - i had 2 children start like this. eldest (2 1/2) had severe communication delay. they both quickly learned the rules at my house. The meltdowns for older child continued for a while - he was under a speech therapist but eventually had a glue ear test and had grommets fitted in both ears. Improved no end after that. Keep an eye as they are new but after a while I'd recommend to mum that he has a glue ear test :thumbsup:

05-09-2013, 08:58 PM
He or she... Apologies for reading insufficiently before replying!

05-09-2013, 11:02 PM
Thank you so much for all the advice and support ladies. I really appreciate it :)

06-09-2013, 06:31 AM
I would say to mum that you are finding it challenging and extend the settling in period to 3 months, if no improvement by then at all then for the sake of the other children and you maybe he needs a one to one setting/care....