help! !!!!!!!!!!!!

[yummyripples]

I am looking after one of my mindees older brothers today. He is being an absolute nightmare. He is manhandling his younger sibling and hurting him. He is hurting my own child and being very rude to me. There is no reason for this (he has been here before). I have been very nice to him. He is being destructive and also refusing to eat or come out. My day is very unpleasant. I can cope with today but how do I tell his lovely mummy that I don't want him again.?

[Mouse]

You poor thing, sounds like a very stressful day.

Rather than tell mum you don't want him any more, tell her that he has been very unhappy today and that you think he'd be a lot happier at a holiday club in future. I'd say something along the lines of:

Poor little X has seemed very unhappy today. He's been rude, grumpy & hurting the other children - which is so unlike him. He's refused to eat and wouldn't come out with us, meaning no one could go anywhere. I've not seen him behave like this before and think he's probably got to that age where he's outgrown a childminding setting - it happens to them all at some point. I hate to see him so obviously unhappy and think a holiday club would be ideal for him. He would be with children his own age and have more freedom to do what he wants. It'll be a shame for me not to have him again, but I know he'll be so much happier not having to come here"

[EmmaReed84]

Ok, so stop being nice to him then. Put your foot and deal with his behaviour. Give him to time to think about his actions and what the consequences might be. If he continues to hurt people, then exclude him from the group for a period of time.

I think sometimes we get so caught up with "being nice" and being "positive" that we forget that children need firm boundaries.

I don't overly agree with soft little voices and a "Oh dear, we must play nicely!" Sometimes what is needed is a firm "X, smacking and hurting others is unacceptable, if you do not stop, you will have a time out!"

[yummyripples]

I have been firm but fair which has resulted in him being worse. I have solved the problem now as I have set the wii up. At first he refused to join in but within minutes he was enjoying himself phew.
Thanks for the advice x
I have explained to his parents that I don't look after older children as a rule as I do struggle to mix the age groups. Unfortunately they couldn't get any one else to mind him. Also they do know how rude and naughty he can be.
He has said he doesn't want to come again and my reply was don't then! !!!!

[sing-low]

Sooo frustrating when you make an effort and arrange activities the children will like and then they don't behave. Hope the day gets better!

[Mrs Scrubbit]

This is the reason I've stopped having schoolies! Hope you day improves xx

[yummyripples]

Well at lunch time he was telling me that he hated me and he wished he was dead - slightly dramatic! He told me that he was never coming back to which I rpeplied ok. I had to lock all the doors as he kept trying to get out the locked gate and nearly pulled it off the hinges.
I plugged the wii in and although at first he refused to join in but then decided he would. I then managed to get food and a drink down him and he got excited about our bug hunt and craft. Day ended not too bad but I honestly can't believe how rude some children are. Sad thing is that I can see little un going the same way :(

[charlottenash]

The word 'hate' is banned in our house so that would drive me mad!

[yummyripples]

'Hate' was quite nice v some other words that were coming out of his mouth.