Absolutely devastated!

[kellyskidz!]

I mind a 14mo girl and a 16mo boy, had the girl for over 8months and the boy for only 2 weeks and I've still not 'figured him out' yet
Little girls mum came in today and said she thought she had a bite mark on her back, I looked at it and it was clearly teeth marks. The little boy did knock little girl to the ground yesterday afternoon and jumped on her while I was setting up activity yesterday and she did cry, but I assumed (wrongly) that it was because she had obviously just been pushed over and jumped on and she stopped crying after a few mins.
Now i know this is clearly the time he's bitten her (they were the only two children in and I watch them both closely with them being so young)
I sat him aside for pushing her over and got him to say sorry with a hug which he did then we carried on with our activity and nothing more mentioned until this morning
Little girls mum was fine and said kids bite, she'll probably do it herself one day but I am SO gutted and totally embarrassed that she's been bitten in my care and I didn't even know?! Told mum I was really sorry and I will speak to boys parent today when he comes but I'm so worried she's thinking I don't watch her daughter closely enough
Re the little boys mum:
I'm worried about telling mum he's bitten YESTERDAY, as she might be thinking well why didn't you tell me yesterday? Also she might well say how do you know it was my son as you didn't even see it
I also feel close to tears at the thought of little girl being bitten and me not knowing, it made me feel like an awful childminder and that I've let her down
It's the first biting incident I've had since starting up so I'm sure that has something to do with how I'm feeling but its the fact that I didn't know and mum must have been bathing her and thought oh my god! I know how horrible it is when your child's been bitten but to have to find out yourself that its happened at someone else's house..
It's really put a downer on my mood and my day, the little boys coming in an hour and I'm feeling quite resentful towards him already, even though I know children bite and its not really his fault, I can't help feeling a little negative towards him, which is making me feel worse!
Urghh horrid start to the day, literally feel awful :(

[Daftbat]

OK Take a breath........ that's better.

Please do not beat yourself up over this. I can guaurantee that this has happened to many others before and despite the fact you didn't realise the child had been bitten you did know that he was upset by the other child being rough and you gave appropriate support and discipline following the incident.

The parent of the child who was bitten seems very down to earth and I am sure there will be no further problem. With regard to the other child parent just be straightforward and recount exactly what you have told us her on the forum. His mum may be upset that her child has bitten someone but these things do happen and its how we move forward that counts.

Have a good day:thumbsup:

[FussyElmo]

Sending you big hugs :group hug::group hug:

But now pick your head up and think about it clearly. You dealt with the incident yesterday you wouldn't have done anything different except tell the parents.

So this morning explain the situation to the boys you didn't mention it at the time (Im assuming you didn't tell the mum) because you had dealt with it and there was no need to. However with the mum telling you she found bite marks you were wondering if he had biten before? If yes he has you know you need to keep a close eye on him. If no I would still be keeping a close eye on him :)

Grab a cuppa or some chocolate anything for a boost. Its happened to us all in one way or another :thumbsup:

[kellyskidz!]

Thanks :) told boys mum there had been a biting incident yesterday and while I obviously didn't see it I'll be keeping an eye out for biting and has he bitten before? Mum said yes he's bit his cousins a lot and she thought she'd told me (she hadn't)
Glad she didn't get funny but am disappointed she didn't say he was a biter before or I'd have been more aware. Anyway, I know now. Today's been hectic as little boy still crys a lot when mum leaves but at least he hasn't bit anyone lol!
Still feeling a bit guilty and a little wobbly but feeling better than I was earlier, how I stopped myself from bursting into tears I'll never know!:blush:

[skatie]

Don't beat yourself up Bout it, you can't have eyes in the back of your head! It is upsetting for you but children do these things, they bite. My ds bit my mindee and if she had been younger I wouldn't have known as I was in the kitchen prepping lunch. It was only because she was old enough to tell me what he had done and I looked, sure enough lovely bite mark. I cried, and was so upset with my ds, it took me me a couple of days to get over it. Felt even worse when I got the paddling pool out a couple of days later and the bite had turned into a purple and yellow bruise :-(. None of us like our children to be bitten and none of us like our children to be the biter. Hope the boys mum was ok with you about it.

[kellyskidz!]

Don't beat yourself up Bout it, you can't have eyes in the back of your head! It is upsetting for you but children do these things, they bite. My ds bit my mindee and if she had been younger I wouldn't have known as I was in the kitchen prepping lunch. It was only because she was old enough to tell me what he had done and I looked, sure enough lovely bite mark. I cried, and was so upset with my ds, it took me me a couple of days to get over it. Felt even worse when I got the paddling pool out a couple of days later and the bite had turned into a purple and yellow bruise :-(. None of us like our children to be bitten and none of us like our children to be the biter. Hope the boys mum was ok with you about it.

It's awful isn't it, I hate biting but do accept its one of those things children do. Touch wood he's been as good as gold today so hopefully things are improving and it was a one off but I still have a beady eye on him xx

[sarah707]

Keep him with you for a while and try to spot the triggers -tiredness, hunger, over excitement, inability to communicate - those are often reasons for biting.

Once you have spotted them you can anticipate better. Hugs xx

[Samijanec]

Sounds like you did everything you should have and he is still only a very young toddler so I wouldn't resent him too much. Xxx

[Ali56]

Try not to be so hard on yourself, I hope you are feeling better now? You dealt with the situation just as you should-now you know he bites you can keep an eye on him. Knowledge is, after all, power!
I know how you feel, I've cared for many biters over the years-but none so bad as my own DD. She went through the most horrendous phase of about 12 weeks, aged 2 and a quarter ish, of biting EVERYONE, for any reason-all the usual and also just because she liked biting(more common than you think-a sensory thing, I did a bit of research!), she even crawled under the table and bit the toes of a 9m old mindee sat in a 'table hanging chair'-deliberate act-fully intended. I felt so awful for him, his toes bled and I was really upset, I thought he was safe in the chair, mum was marvellous though and ended up reassuring me :blush:. I couldn't leave her unattended for a minute, not even when I went to the loo-she had to come with me! How I kept my mindees I'll never know, the parents of the kids I minded were wonderful and so understanding that it was a phase, however awful.
In all my years of minding, and they are many-I was stumped, all the usual disciplines failed to stop her and in the end it came down to watching her every minute, prevention, constant talking about it, and also understanding why she was biting and providing alternative, appropriate things to bite-this worked very well until the phase was outgrown.

[Samijanec]

My son started a few months age, bit one of my mindees on the arm and left a mark. I was gutted but mum was really understanding and said dont worry they all do it. Thankfully it was really short lived and only lasted a few weeks. I just watched everything he did..