16m too early for potty training?

[kellyskidz!]

I've had a little boy (16m) here for almost 2 weeks (2 days a week) so just 4 full days, and he's still not fully settled in yet. Mum is very keen for him to be potty trained but I'm getting the feeling she wants me to do it for her!
She mentioned it last week and I said I'd give it a go but he cried his eyes out whenever I sat him on the potty, I told her this and said I don't think he's quite ready, so today she brought his own potty from home and said he's being going on it loads at home.
He did a wee on it, but was crying the whole time, it was awful!
He doesn't speak to me, I've only heard him say 2 words 'cup' and 'ball' and he seems quite wary of me, which I've been putting down to him being new and not being looked after by anyone else before. He's very shy of strangers and seems jumpy around people he isn't familiar with
I don't want to terrify him by forcing him to toilet train when he's only been here for such a short amount of time but I can't overrule mum can I if she's saying this is what she wants and is saying he's ready to do it?
Is it too soon?

[FussyElmo]

Time to trot out the potty training policy. Where once toilet training has been established at home you are pleased to follow it through at yours.

16 months is very young - very very young. From my point of view I would expect him to be able to tell or at least indicate that he needs to use the potty and be able to take his pants and trousers down.

It could actually put him back if they continue to try and he finds it so distressing.

[blue bear]

Bless him, hasn't he got enough on coping with the change. I have trained a 16 month old but she was talking and kept taking her nappy off herself, she was trained in three days.
I'd be telling mummy you will carry it on when he has been clean and dry at home for seven days and only then if he goes on the potty at yours without distress.
I am happy to Tain full timers but only when I think the child is ready not the parents.

[beckygrey]

I agree 16 months is very young, I've tried my 22 month old twins and one is ready but the other is not so im not gonna push him
As FussyElmo said it can put him back

[Mrs Scrubbit]

I've got an 18mth old who is brilliant at letting me know that she requires the 'pot pot' she will also happily sit on the toilet too. But every child is different I have another child the same age who is nowhere near toilet training readiness and a 2yr old who is trained but still needs a bit of reminding. I think its still early days for this little chap and the priority should be in settling him into your setting and helping him to feel happy and secure and this in turn will make the foundation for relationship building and only when this has been achieved would I start to even give toilet training a thought. Have a good chat with mum, xx

[supermumy]

All my own children (4 of them) have been trained by 16-18 months and mindees have been different ages so I wouldn't say to young BUt with a new environment and being quite wary of you I would explain to mum that he needs to be fully settled first and not shy before you continue
He probably is good at home (just because he young doesn't mean a pushy parent)
But he is bound to cry with you as still wary :)

[charlottenash]

My son was 3 and a half. Ages vary so dramatically so I wouldn't assume a 16 month old was too young however the fact that he's new with you would stop me from doing it to ensure you don't frighten him. Just tell mum he needs to be trained at home before you establish it in your setting

[kellyskidz!]

Thank you all,
I'm going to do a toilet training policy ( didnt have one before!) as I really don't think he's ready, I think he's started with me 2 weeks ago and mums expecting me to have him toilet trained in no time, which isn't fair on me or her son, who just doesn't speak at all and has never asked to go on the potty at my house
I don't know if she's being pushy, I think she's just eager for him to be advanced to the point where she's overlooking the fact that he's going through a lot of changes (new childminder, meeting new people, change in routine) and this might set him back
What should I put in the policy? How do I word it?
Thanks again xx

[sarah707]

Children need to be established at home before they come in pants here!!

By established I do not mean taken nappies off on Sunday to see how they get on and then drop off here on Monday in pants :panic:

If that happens they go straight into pull-ups - which I treat as pants - but protect my furniture and flooring!

Hopefully you will find some middle ground with mum x

[*daisychain*]

I have been told today by my 14 months lo's mummy that in four months time she is starting to potty train him !!!!! It's nice she can plan when her little one is going to be ready for these milestones !!!!!
When I told her to start when he is ready and not when she is her reply was " we'll I have already bought the underwear !!" To top it off , she works in a nursery !! Got to love her :)