Naughty or Not?

[EmmaReed84]

Just been on "that forum" and seen a post about a nursery and there was a reply about Ofsted not liking the word naughty. I remember on my CYPOP 5 the "N WORD" was totally banned is was classed as curse word and we were told that Ofsted would seriously frown on us if we dare use the word "naughty"

Now, I thought it was a major over reaction! And I told my Mrs O this when she came to inspect me. I did say that in my opinion CHILDREN are not naughty, but they display "naughty behaviour" I would never tell a child they are naughty, but if for example if a child smacked another child on purpose to cause upset I would say "THAT was naughty!" the behaviour. Mrs O smiled and was very polite and even agreed with me and said in her opinion it was all a but OTT.

What do you think? Do you use the dreaded N word, or do you think it is damaging to a child?

[shortstuff]

i do use the word but never directed at a child. as you say actions can be naughty etc x

[kellyskidz!]

When a had a three yo biter I've said it, 'no we do not bite, that's naughty.'
It is.
We're not swearing at them, or screaming in their faces and their parents use it anyway. I wouldn't say to a child YOU'RE so naughty, or whatever, but if they bite, it is naughty, and I'm not one for namby pambying around say oh we don't appreciate that behaviour, what child is going to understand that lol, especially if at home they're told it's naughty and not to do it.
I've never heard of a parent objecting to the word, and as a parent I use it myself. It's not a swear word x

[nikki thomson]

I do use it with my own but not often now as there 5,7,9, it was never used in a aggresive that's naughty way but a calm now Ava that was abit naughty wasn't it kinda way.
I don't use it with the lo I have as I know it's frowned apon but it's like the whole naughty step thing, you can't use that it has to be positive behaviour blah blah, which is great until you come across a right little wosit who just laughs at your approach to ignoring bad behaviour and praising positive behaviour.
In all honesty I think the worlds gone mad on alot of things to do with children/childcare but don't get me started, lol. X

[emma04]

Yes I say naughty!

"That was naughty" is usually about it!

The children use the word to each other, way more than I use it!!!! So I'm under the distinct impression the word is used at home!

"You're naughty"
"X is being naughty"
"Stop being a naughty boy/girl"

These are all phrases my lo's use at times!!

[emma04]

Just about to speak with a parent regarding thw word "far*)

[MessybutHappy]

I use the word, and unless someone can give me a good reason not to, will continue to do so!

A six year old may understand the different between "I'm naughty" as opposed to "My actions are naughtly" but a two year old won't! The two year old also probably doesn't remember that he or she (or her behaviour!) was "naughty" five minutes after the action!

So yes, I do say "naughty behaviour" but we need to remember, and teach, that the child is responsible for the behaviour! Sometimes the children I see at groups are effectively "let off" becuase their behaviour is inappropriate, but they aren't made to feel responsible!

I think it's OK to say to Freddy - "no, Freddy we don't bang our cutlery on the table, that's naughty behaviour", and when he does it again (as he almost certainly will) I follow up with "no, Freddy, Naughty". Freddy will get that, I don't think he'll be scarred for life, and I think my table cloth may last a bit longer!

I recognise that there are other ways of saying the same thing, but I don't understand why I need to? When and why did "naughty" become a bad word?

If I'm missing something here, I'd love to hear it!

[EmmaReed84]

I have just taken on a parent who runs childcare courses and I told her outright, I am not a lovey dove Mary Poppins who always praises children and that if a child needs a firm word then that is what they will get! She loved it LOL! In fact, when speaking to all my parents they said that was one of the reasons they chose me. I know it may put some parents off, but quite frankly if I am caring for a child and they are being a little, you know what, then I want to feel I have the support from the parent in way discipline and have to worry I am going to "damage their perfect angel" IYSWIM.

I have always said I am very firm,. but very fair. I use the naughty word, I use times out and I even say no, don't, shouldn't etc... never mind all this "The sofa is for sitting on" "We walk in the house" :rolleyes:

[emma04]

Just about to speak with a parent regarding thw word "far*)

Sorry messed that up!

Am going to be Speaking with a parent tonight about the use of the word "fart"
I know some think its acceptable, but I don't especially from a 2yr old!

"I just farted" along with a snigger, made me a bit cross today!

Everyone else manages a "pardon" including my own children!

[AliceK]

I use it to say that an action is naughty but I never tell a child that they are naughty and I have adopted that since my DS was small. I also don't have a Naughty Step but lots of children say it as they must hear it at home, I have a time-out spot.

xxxx

[Nicola Carlyle]

I use it but in the way that everyone else uses it by the looks of it. We don't have a naughty step but we so have a bottom stair that quite often has little bottoms sat on it. My little o e use it as a place to go and calm down if they're crying due to tantrums etc. Once they have calmed down we simply have a hug and I say have you calmed down now? If they can talk then we do talk about how they are feeling and why they were upset. The older ones use it as a thinking space. If they have done something they shouldn't have behaviour/action wise I tell them that its not acceptable and they need to just stop and have a think about their actions. They go themselves to the bottom step and sit down. I check on them occasionally and ask if they have thought about their actions or if they'd like to talk about it. I do laugh when they say "no I need to stay here longer. I'm not ready!". I've never asked any of them to go and sit there specifically. It's just something that one child done one day and the rest have followed. I like to think of it as a down time space where they seem to be able to calm down and join us when they are ready. I think it helps that there is a huge mirror in front of the step to lol. Lots of funny faces pulled along with sad and happy faces to. x

[step11]

In all my years of child care iv never used that word, I don't use it with my son and don't like it when others say it to my child. My partner knows how much I dislike the word. It's so negative.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I don't use that N word. I say "now that wasn't very nice was it". After all what does naughty actually mean to a child?

The action that is naughty I challenge by saying "how do you think that made x feel"?

[clareelizabeth1]

Sorry messed that up!

Am going to be Speaking with a parent tonight about the use of the word "fart"
I know some think its acceptable, but I don't especially from a 2yr old!

"I just farted" along with a snigger, made me a bit cross today!

Everyone else manages a "pardon" including my own children!

My niece always says not poo just farted.

As for naughty we weren't allowed to use it at nursery and we used to read a book about sitting on the naughty step it was a rhyming book and we still weren't allowed to say the word. Ruined the whole book

[bindy]

Sorry messed that up!

Am going to be Speaking with a parent tonight about the use of the word "fart"
I know some think its acceptable, but I don't especially from a 2yr old!

"I just farted" along with a snigger, made me a bit cross today!

Everyone else manages a "pardon" including my own children!

What would you call it lol!! Be interesting to know what others call it too, don't ask me why but it make me laugh, names for farts, dare I say lol!!!

[AliceK]

What would you call it lol!! Be interesting to know what others call it too, don't ask me why but it make me laugh, names for farts, dare I say lol!!!

We call them a pop. So I'll say to DD "have you just popped?" Strange huh, not sure where it came from actually lol
I cant stand the word fart and I will ask people not to use it in my house.

xxx

[charlottenash]

What does anything mean to a child, 'naughty' 'that wasn't nice' 'don't do that again' 'that made X upset'

For me its context. The one thing I hated growing up and still makes me cringe to think about it is saying 'the policeman is coming to get you'. I was never told that, but my cousins were and it always disturbed me!

[supermumy]

I find saying your or that is naughty just doesn't work now say to my kids (well the younger ones) now that made me sad or you hurt ..,,, you made them sad and wow their face drops and thier saying sorry!

[EmmaReed84]

What would you call it lol!! Be interesting to know what others call it too, don't ask me why but it make me laugh, names for farts, dare I say lol!!!

We call blow offs, pop offs. When my eldest was little and just started using the toilet, he used to call poo "blob" we never knew why, we had never said it before but he always said things like "Mum I need a blob!" then one day he was on the toilet and dropped one off and he giggled away and said "Oh, blob!" and giggled more :laughing:

My mindees call them fluffs. I don't like fart either!

[donna porter]

Yes I use it and yes I raise my voice . The world of Childcare has gone mad!!

[bindy]

We call blow offs, pop offs. When my eldest was little and just started using the toilet, he used to call poo "blob" we never knew why, we had never said it before but he always said things like "Mum I need a blob!" then one day he was on the toilet and dropped one off and he giggled away and said "Oh, blob!" and giggled more :laughing:

My mindees call them fluffs. I don't like fart either!

One of mine calls them bottom burps lol

[maisiemog]

My daughter calls them bottom pardons and burps are mouth pardons.

And yes I use the word naughty! Never label the child as naughty but they can understand that the things they are doing are naughty. I grew up being told I was naughty and I'm not mentally scarred or a delinquent! Sometimes things just get taken too far! In ten years time we telling children they are naughty will probably be the latest 'in' thing in childcare because everything goes round and round!

[hectors house]

Oh dear have just read a Thomas board book and the "naughty" trucks have just pushed James off the rails!

I don't think I say naughty - I generally say "that's not a nice thing to do" or "look at my face, do I look happy or sad?"

We have read the book "we're wearing out the naughty step" - I don't use it often but our bottom stair is sometimes the "thinking" step but is generally a last resort and when I need to distance myself from them too.

I did have a little one say "don't shout at me" - I replied I'm not shouting, I'm talking loudly because you aren't listening to me!

[smurfette]

In Ireland we say 'bold' instead of naughty, and I do say 'that's bold!' To the little ones if they don't listen! Agree with Donna childcareworld has gone mad, sometimes children need to be told not to do something and not everything just explained in a softly softly way! That said my girls are very well behaved (at the mo, dreading the teenage years) and are very emphatic, because I always explain to them how other people are feeling and how what they do makes them feel.. So I do that with mindees too, but for inanimate objects like don't write on the walls, I will say 'ah ah, no writing on the wall' and then come back with 'no that's bold' if I have to! (Mine are all under 3)

[natalieatk]

Sorry messed that up!

Am going to be Speaking with a parent tonight about the use of the word "fart"
I know some think its acceptable, but I don't especially from a 2yr old!

"I just farted" along with a snigger, made me a bit cross today!

Everyone else manages a "pardon" including my own children!

I would not tolerate that word to! I haven't never used it I think it's an awful word! We usually say "pump" but I don't make the children feel like its bad or wrong as sometimes a "pump" can relieve a stomach ache etc bit it's a better word to use - although of children were constantly doing it I would tell them off as it it rude to do it on purpose

[Amandak28]

I think in the passed the 'naughty' word was far to commonly used for unwanted actions of children.

Instead of dealing with the behaviour shown and stoping it. They just say 'your naughty' 'stop being so naughty' how a child is meant to know what is not ok from this, i have no idea???

I have no idea what it means, i don't like it and use other tactics to resolve unwanted behaviour.
Not saying any one is right or wrong in what choices they make just sharing my own opinions.

It wasn't until i had my dd that i realised how much i dislike it. I rather say to her, stop ..... thats not ok/ or acceptable behaviour because ....
So she understands her actions have consequences and She learns about good behaviour and how to control and express her own emotions and understand other people feelings.

:-)

[Amandak28]

We also use bum burps or popping off instaed of the oh so lovely 'fart' word lol.
:-) x

[MessybutHappy]

My family farts...I seem to be in the minority, but we do, definitely, fart! We do not, however discuss these things in public! However, I, being a lady, "break wind"!!!!

I was very surprised the first time I found out how much some people dislike the word. This was only a few months ago, so I have spent a long time probably offending many people... Sorry!

PS I rather enjoy the giggles that arise each time someone lets one off, and we grown-up(ish) people pretend ignorance!!

[Supernanny86]

My family farts...I seem to be in the minority, but we do, definitely, fart! We do not, however discuss these things in public! However, I, being a lady, "break wind"!!!!

I was very surprised the first time I found out how much some people dislike the word. This was only a few months ago, so I have spent a long time probably offending many people... Sorry!

PS I rather enjoy the giggles that arise each time someone lets one off, and we grown-up(ish) people pretend ignorance!!

One of the ones I look after (not 2 until next month) came out with it at tea time last week! I nearly fainted!! I know his parents say fart to them, so trying to change it to a pop or something as it doesn't sound right from a kids mouth?! Or is it a class thing? I don't know?! But he knows its wrong as he changes twinkle twinkle little star to little fart!! I've taken to ignoring him lately as in the car it was fart fart fart fart all the way home!! :(

[scottishlass]

We mostly say pump but to be honest where I live fart isn't frowned upon and I prefer it to bottom burp or whatever else. My kids would be hysterical if I called it that lol! Suppose it is whatever we are used to - different strokes for different folks xx

[scottishlass]

We mostly say pump but to be honest where I live fart isn't frowned upon and I prefer it to bottom burp or whatever else. My kids would be hysterical if I called it that lol! Suppose it is whatever we are used to - different strokes for different folks xx

Our main thing is that we say pardon after really xx

[charlottenash]

I say fart, doesn't really come up in conversation to be honest. If someone does it, 'say pardon me' and that's it. I'd never laugh or make them think it is something dramatic. But we also definitely say fart.

[Samijanec]

We trump, just think the word fart sounds horrid coming out of a very young child's mouth. :(

I also use the word naughty, not at the child but at the action that has caused them to be told off!