lorettacritchet
11-08-2013, 08:56 PM
Hiya,
I have been feeling like such a failure since Friday. It's one of these situations where I am half/half knowing what I did was right but feeling so wrong about it.
A bit of background, mother and child just came to London moving from Italy. Little girl doesn't speak English and is 2 and half years old. She still sucks dummy and wears nappies as mother says shes too lazy to use a proper toilet.
Anyways, mother and I discussed a few hours to start before throwing this child in my care for 10 hours in a day. I asked her to start off with an hour, then two possibly the next day to see how things went.
So, I had this new child come in just for an hour on Friday late morning as the start to settling in and then arranged two hours on Saturday morning. So literally within a few minutes of the mother leaving, this child was quiet, not crying, I was so happy! but I shouldn't have been. Within 5 minutes of this, this child began to attack the other children in my care. No one could come near this child or they would have been pushed and almost punched! and the other children hadn't even done anything!
I witnessed attacks on almost all the children and every time we said no, this child got a little upset but got over it. Then she would go back to what ever toy she saw other children play with and want to take it.
Finally we said no for a final time before this child had a proper breakdown, throwing herself on the couch, trying to bite herself, screaming. It was horrendous. Both my assistant and I tried to calm her down because we thought it must be quite scary to be in a different country with no possible way to communicate but she got worse. Sooooo we left her thinking it's possibly a tantrum. Then she became clingy to my assistant and didn't want to let her go. She literally clung to her and wouldn't let my assistant attend to the other children who were also crying.
I told the mother to come back asap. She was literally here in 5/10 minutes of my text and her conversation really annoyed me asking what she could do now, would I take on this child, she tried to put the child's behaviour as temporary then I found out in conversation this child has already had these type of moments with her grandmother around!!! I told the mother I was not prepared to take on this child due to having to care for the other children in my care and wouldn't be happy worrying about things all the time. I suggested to the mother she take the child to playgroups to see her child's behaviour and try and "train her" so to speak on behaviour nos and yes's.
Have I done the wrong thing? I know this child was probably upset at the new environment etc but then my heart is saying I should be taking care of the other children. My work is so quiet but I just couldn't take this child on, especially if this girl begins to attack me, my assistant or my daughter?????????
I have been feeling like such a failure since Friday. It's one of these situations where I am half/half knowing what I did was right but feeling so wrong about it.
A bit of background, mother and child just came to London moving from Italy. Little girl doesn't speak English and is 2 and half years old. She still sucks dummy and wears nappies as mother says shes too lazy to use a proper toilet.
Anyways, mother and I discussed a few hours to start before throwing this child in my care for 10 hours in a day. I asked her to start off with an hour, then two possibly the next day to see how things went.
So, I had this new child come in just for an hour on Friday late morning as the start to settling in and then arranged two hours on Saturday morning. So literally within a few minutes of the mother leaving, this child was quiet, not crying, I was so happy! but I shouldn't have been. Within 5 minutes of this, this child began to attack the other children in my care. No one could come near this child or they would have been pushed and almost punched! and the other children hadn't even done anything!
I witnessed attacks on almost all the children and every time we said no, this child got a little upset but got over it. Then she would go back to what ever toy she saw other children play with and want to take it.
Finally we said no for a final time before this child had a proper breakdown, throwing herself on the couch, trying to bite herself, screaming. It was horrendous. Both my assistant and I tried to calm her down because we thought it must be quite scary to be in a different country with no possible way to communicate but she got worse. Sooooo we left her thinking it's possibly a tantrum. Then she became clingy to my assistant and didn't want to let her go. She literally clung to her and wouldn't let my assistant attend to the other children who were also crying.
I told the mother to come back asap. She was literally here in 5/10 minutes of my text and her conversation really annoyed me asking what she could do now, would I take on this child, she tried to put the child's behaviour as temporary then I found out in conversation this child has already had these type of moments with her grandmother around!!! I told the mother I was not prepared to take on this child due to having to care for the other children in my care and wouldn't be happy worrying about things all the time. I suggested to the mother she take the child to playgroups to see her child's behaviour and try and "train her" so to speak on behaviour nos and yes's.
Have I done the wrong thing? I know this child was probably upset at the new environment etc but then my heart is saying I should be taking care of the other children. My work is so quiet but I just couldn't take this child on, especially if this girl begins to attack me, my assistant or my daughter?????????