PDA

View Full Version : Experience re unsettled child



itsybitsyteeny
06-08-2013, 06:12 PM
I have had interest from a parent who is wishing to take her daughter out of nursery and has sent them a very rude email listing her complaints. I can't seem to get a direct complaint from her when I ask what the problems were and what she has mentioned don't seem like problems to me! She said she wasn't happy that the key worker also was the 'nappy changer' for the nursery group as this was taking time away from her own daughter. Surely she doesn't expect a nursery to hire an additional member of staff just for nappy changes? That was the only thing she would mention to me. From the initial 2 visits I have noticed that the little girl of 16 months hasn't said any English words at all and the few words she has said are in Italian as her mum is Italian. We had the water table outside and she says 'agua' and that is all I heard. What else I have seen leads me to doubt that she will settle in here. On the 1st visit she screamed when her mum just went upstairs and on the 2nd visit she screamed when her mum went to the loo. Her mum has said she has been the same at nursery and has never slept through the night since she was born. Is this exceptionally clingy? I'm just thinking if I am really getting the full story re leaving the nursery and also how mum would ever be able to leave her with me if she screams and cries?

CLL
06-08-2013, 06:36 PM
I would be weary if mum can not give you reasons for leaving. At most nurseries the key worker changes their own children's nappies, so yes she will be changing other nappies but not the whole nurseries. Sounds like mum wants one to one care for lo. Tbh I would not take on this child sounds like too much trouble. I also would not take on a parent who openly tells me they are angry with last carers and have made complaints without working it out first. Sounds like she could cause trouble in the future.

FizzWizz
06-08-2013, 06:51 PM
I don't think the child's behaviour is that unusual given that she is in a new place and her mum walks away, slightly clingy but nothing that can't be fixed.

However, I agree with CLL, I would be more concerned with the mum's attitude and it sounds like she may be quite hard to work with.

noreenismail
06-08-2013, 06:56 PM
I have recently taken a 16 month on who was removed from nursery as he was not settling there. He came for settling in sessions with me and was settling in fine when it was just him and my boy. Now I have more children due to holidays he is very unsettled and will cry all day. He wants one to one care and doesn't like me even talking to the others. Today he wouldn't eat his food unless I sat next to him, practically feeding him.

His clingy ness is effecting the other children too, therefore I wouldn't advice taking this child on, who mostly likely needs one to one care.

miffy
06-08-2013, 06:58 PM
Trust your instincts they are usually right.

Miffy xx

Helen79
06-08-2013, 08:58 PM
I would say that's normal behaviour for a 16 month old to be in a new place with her mum out of sight. It's common for babies of this age to still be waking in the night too. Hopefully she might relax once mum leaves her. I wouldn't be concerned about the language at this point either, many children who only speak english haven't said any words by 16 months and often a child with 2 languages will speak later in one language.

Key workers should change their own key worker children's nappies so if her keyworker is changing all the nappies then mum is probably right to be concerned about the time taken away especially if the child is clingy at nursery. Can you imagine how long it would take to change 20 nappies in one go, if it's true that her keyworker is doing all the nappies then she's right to complain.

I would try to have a talk to mum, say that it would be useful to know what the complaints were so that you can make sure you're providing the kind of care she expects. after that if you feel you can't meet her needs then you can decide whether to take the family on or not.

hectors house
07-08-2013, 09:12 AM
I had one little boy come to me when he was 13 months as he hadn't settled at Nursery because I could be more flexible and put the TV on his favourite programme when he mum left (obviously Nursery couldn't do that) he soon settled.

Had another parent come wanting immediate care as they had withdrawn child from her new nursery as they weren't happy with it - this was an outstanding nursery, so alarm bells rang - I phoned the Nursery and asked what the problem had been, it had been because the Nursery had refused to administer Calpol to child (as per their policy) but parents kicked off about it and took her away. I did take on this child as I needed to fill space but should have listened to instincts - parents made my life hell for 9 months!

As nursery already know child is leaving, I would ring them for their version of events and opinion on child and mother!

JCrakers
07-08-2013, 10:01 AM
I would be wary and would want to know more about her concerns. They could be realistic,genuine concerns but the one regarding the nappy changes seems to sound strange without more info from her.

I would offer 2 weeks settling in period to test the water. Only because I had a baby of 8m who screamed for 8hrs a day 4 days a week. I stuck it out for 8 weeks before I felt like I was going round the bend. I worked with parents closely but nothing I did would make her settle. I wouldn't want a 4 week settling period if I had doubts.

AliceK
07-08-2013, 10:19 AM
I would be honest with mum and explain that unless you are made aware of the nature of her complaints re her DD's care at nursery you cannot be sure yours is the right setting for her and so without the necessary information you will be unable to take things any further.

xxxx