help! - he wont stop crying.

[noreenismail]

I took a child on who was taken out of nursery as he wouldn't settle. We had a long settling in period and he seemed to have good days. But for the past 5 weeks he is constantly crying. He will stop if I am next to him and only giving him my full attention. as soon as I speak to the others he starts crying. he wont even sleep unless im next to him.

Its effecting the care of the other children and its not fair on him who I feel needs one to one care.

Im not enjoying the job on the two days he is here. I know I would be happy if he wasnt here as my boy also dreads the days he's coming. But I I feel guilty giving notice.

Just after some advice and support from you lovely people.

[Bumble Beez]

I had a LO who was similar...I literally had to wean him off one to one care.
I started by sitting with him when others were playing, doing an activity or having lunch etc, then when he was playing I'd sit him between my legs so he still had that contact but not as much, then got to where I sat opposite him and now I'm able to move freely around and he is fine (as long as I'm in sight!) still trying to figure out how best to tackle going out of sight as he needs to learn that he can't follow me around all the time!
It has been hard work, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere now ;) there is hope xx

Sarah x

[The Juggler]

I had a LO who was similar...I literally had to wean him off one to one care.
I started by sitting with him when others were playing, doing an activity or having lunch etc, then when he was playing I'd sit him between my legs so he still had that contact but not as much, then got to where I sat opposite him and now I'm able to move freely around and he is fine (as long as I'm in sight!) still trying to figure out how best to tackle going out of sight as he needs to learn that he can't follow me around all the time!
It has been hard work, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere now ;) there is hope xx

Sarah x

agree with above, this is what I did. how old is the child hon?

[amanda1309]

I'm just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with a child almost identical to what you have described.

He's been coming since February and he's only just starting to wander off in the house and play.

It's been the hardest few months childminding since I started 7 years ago, but I got through it by doing exactly as other posts have done, and by having a good network of support around me to listen to my troubles at the end of a long and noisy day.

[noreenismail]

He's 17 months. Mum tells me that he's the same at home, just wanting her next to him all the time.

He only comes two days a week, so first day is bad the second is better then the next week he is bad again.

Im going to see whats he is like in theneect few weekw.

Thank you for the advice.
Noreen.

[Daftbat]

Life is too short for this. I have had experience of young children demanding my attention so much that it starts to affect the others and once it gets to this stage its just not fair on anyone.

Given that the child hasn't settled at either nursery or you then I think Mum needs to make some decisions about her work etc. I know if it was my own child I wouldn't want him to be so unsettled.

[vickylou]

A few years ago I looked after a baby who screamed virtually for the 9 hrs she was here, felt guilty giving notice more importantly couldn't afford to!!! She was here for 9 months after about 6 months I started getting blisters on my fingers, which then spread all across my hand big gaping sores had to wear gloves to change nappies as I couldn't even out my hands in water to wash them, turns out it was a type of excema caused by stress! Mum gave me notice to move somewhere cheaper, within 2 weeks of child leaving my hands were 70 times better!! I now would not put myself or my family through that again no matter how desperate I was!! I've had criers since but luckily none have been as bad as her!!! Think you have to work out the pros and cons, can you manage without this income, if its affecting your son then that may be the deciding factor, good luck

[skatie]

I had a nearly 2 yo mindee that did this for about 4-6 months (can't remember as it seems so long ago lol). Who cried/screamed a lot. She would only stop crying when asleep or watching Peppa pig, would start again if you looked at her, spoke to her, advert came on or someone walked in front of the TV. She only came 1 day a week, which I think is difficult for them to adjust to. I used to dread with every fibre of my being a Wednesday as my head would throb really badly by the end of the day. She was my first and only mindee for about 6 months, after some very good advise on this forum I started to make sure we went out to toddler group straight from picking her up and she loved toddler group, 5 months further down the line I still have her and she is the sweetest, loveliest little girl. A million miles from the screaming TV addict she was previously.

Having said that, if I could have afforded to I would have dumped her like a hot cake. It was really stressful and very unfair on my ds who had to put up with it.

Good luck and hope you find a resolution bit put yourself and your family first.