Wwyd - helping out an unregistered cm but good friend (sorry long)

[MrsP2C]

One of my good friends has looked after a little girl full time (ie 5 days a week) for the past 5 years as an unregistered cm. I have my own views on this but have kept them to myself for the sake of our friendship. They have quite an unorthodox relationship & I think it's fair to say friend is taken advantage of but can hardly complain as she's not registered (eg parents both work full time & regular drop off early/collect late but friend gets same monthly sum regardless of hours)

Now, my friend has just had some devastating news & needs time off & asked me to have little girl next week. I instantly agreed without thinking but of course I can't just have her turn up on Monday morning without formalising arrangements (trying not to be irritated she doesn't just tell parents to take emergency leave but their agreement seems to be she sorts childcare no matter what!)
I really don't want to trouble my friend right now so do you think it's ok to email parent direct & go through *my* terms so they don't just think I'll work for nothing to help a pal (complicated by the fact little girl is good friends with my DC). I won't work the same long/unfixed hours, will charge more & require payment from parent plus there's paperwork to complete so there's a chance parent will ring friend & moan but I'm not sure what else to do that helps her in this time of need but doesn't jeopardise my business.

Well done if you've got this far (!) & any comments much appreciated :)

[cathtee]

I think I would get in touch with them and say that while you are willing to stand in for your friend next week you will need to keep it on
a proffessional basis as you are a registered minder. She either takes it or leaves it, at the end of the day she need you more than you need her,
and if she cannot bide by your terms she can always take time off to look after her own child.

[The Juggler]

sorry your friend has had bad news but she has also put you in an awful predicament.

i would phone your friend and ask for mum's contact details. call the mum and tell her the hours you will/will not work, your hourly rates and say unless she can come round and do the paperwork at the weekend you'll be unable to cover. :thumbsup: Also explain to her that you can do early drops/late collections occasionally but only if requested and agreed by you in advance and there are extra charges for these hours. :thumbsup:

[MrsP2C]

I think I would get in touch with them and say that while you are willing to stand in for your friend next week you will need to keep it on
a proffessional basis as you are a registered minder. She either takes it or leaves it, at the end of the day she need you more than you need her,
and if she cannot bide by your terms she can always take time off to look after her own child.

I've done it!! Texted my friend giving her head's up in case they call & all ok there (I've no doubt she doesn't really care right now but still). As our children are friends I've got mum's details & emailed saying about being registered & needing to keep it professional. I outlined my hourly rate, set in stone earliest drop-off & latest collection times, copy of P&P and if they agree will drop off short-term contract tomorrow as they live close-by. Fingers crossed as could really do with the extra money & girl is lovely :)

[blue bear]

Well done mrs P2C,

I've done something like this recently (childminder was registered but no contract or fixed times) I completed a temporary contract and went through all policies detailing times and payment in advance with any extra hours at a different hourly rate. Parent was fine more than happy I could cover and guess what? Turned up on time didn't need the extra flexible hours the other childminder does for nothing.

[little chickee]

Agree with all above.

Remember to get payment up front too.

[bunyip]

I agree with previous posts.

I think it's very important that you're being realistic about this, as your OP shows:


go through *my* terms so they don't just think I'll work for nothing to help a pal (complicated by the fact little girl is good friends with my DC). I won't work the same long/unfixed hours, will charge more & require payment from parent plus there's paperwork to complete so there's a chance parent will ring friend & moan but I'm not sure what else to do that helps her in this time of need but doesn't jeopardise my business.

...and I'd suggest you hold onto that approach. As you're only having the child for a short time, I suspect that no matter what you do the mum will fail to recognise the benefit of your skill over an illegal minder. So there's a strong possibility you're going to have to cope with her moaning about the cost, paperwork, times, T&Cs, etc. coupled with minimal appreciation of your talents.

If you're already prepared for that, it'll be much easier to cope with if/when it happens. :thumbsup:

[rickysmiths]

You are very good. I could not have stood by and watched a 'friend' caring for a child full time, being paid for it and not being registered and I assume not paying tax either.

I would have reported her years ago to Ofsted and to HMRC for putting a child at risk which she is doing in spadefuls by not having Insurance, no First Aid and no Child Protection Training plus no on going training no EYFS and no LA support.

I'm afaid she would be no friend of mine. If she was a real friend I would have sat her down years ago and spoken to her about the risk she was putting herself and her family in by not being registered.

And no I'm afraid I would not take on the family who have used her all these years. Let them find their own cover that is part of the disadvantage of using someone who is not registered or use the arrangements they have when this 'friend' has been off sick in the past which has not been you from the sounds of it.

Wouldn't touch this situation with a barge pole.

[MrsP2C]

Well mum replied & said thanks for offering but she can't afford it so will make other arrangements. Probably for the best. Thanks all.

[Chimps Childminding]

Well mum replied & said thanks for offering but she can't afford it so will make other arrangements. Probably for the best. Thanks all.

That's a shame in one way especially if the money would have been useful, but then it takes the pressure off you in another. I guess mum was hoping you would give her the same deal as your friend!!!

[rickysmiths]

Well mum replied & said thanks for offering but she can't afford it so will make other arrangements. Probably for the best. Thanks all.

Although you have missed out on the money I think you have had a lucky escape. The mother obviously hasn't the first thought regarding the safety of her child she just wants the cheapest option whatever it is.

[miffy]

Well mum replied & said thanks for offering but she can't afford it so will make other arrangements. Probably for the best. Thanks all.

I do think its for the best.

Thank goodness you did contact her and set your terms out otherwise it could have been very awkward for everyone.

Miffy xx